How judgemental are you?

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I do not judge people until I get to know them.


-SpaceCase

It depends.

I can be VERY picky when choosing the people that I want to spend time with, but other than that I try not to be judgemental. I tend to be rather acidic when I consider someone to be acting like an idiot, though.

I don't *think* I'm judgemental but I'm also pretty sure I'm not an accurate judge of that. ( did I just prove myself right or wrong?)

I like to think I have a high tolerance for deviance.

When I'm in a bad mood I can be judgmental in a very negative way but my experience with my ex roommate this past semester has taught me to be a lot more careful. I made a few negative judgments towards her and in brutaliation she became 10x sh*ttier to me than she used to be. Even after I apologized she chose to be very judgmental and treat me and my guests intentionally worst than I had been to her. She would insult and ridicule me alot when I had only done so once or twice. She would be unfriendly to the numerous friends and family members I had in the room when she only had one complaint about me slamming the door on a friend that came looking for her one time (I was having an Aspie moment at the time, something which I also tried to explain to her but she chose to ignore). It's a real shame too, because she saw herself as the victim in our situation and I dont think a victim would chose to strike harder and hold a grudge against me for an entire semester just for making a few mistakes I apologized for.

I'm trying to be more positive. In this way I become less judgmental about people and friendly...almost NT friendly. I suprised myself one time when I went to a cookout where I didnt know anybody and I managed to be positive enough to manage near NT like conversation and made a new friend in the process. Sometimes you realize that when you make the effort to be nice and positive about people, it just plain works!! !

Last edited by toonaspie on 28 Dec 2005, 9:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I hate to tell you all this... very!

I'm probably too judgemental for my own good. However, I tend to keep my judgements to myself. Giving people the benefit of the doubt has never come easily for me and I am honestly more likely to look at a bad side of a situation rather than a good one.

But you probably wouldn't have guessed that from reading what I've written. Most of my judgments (like thoughts) never make it out of my head, which is probably a good thing.

Relating to my post above (sorry, I went on a rant/vent that I shouldnt have), from my perspective, most NTs can be very judgmental people...especially towards us aspies.

Of course most of the people we aspies tend to be judgmental towards are the NTs (am I right?). For those of us who are trying to make more friends, the best way we can do so is by being less judgmental and making the NTs feel bad for being judgmental themselves

That's all we can hope for anyway.

I'll admit that I'm very judgemental, though not as bad as I used to be. One of the reasons why I think I had trouble making friends in middle/high school is because I would write off most of my peers as a nerd, loser, geek, etc.

Quite.

Its not a good thing either.

Im probably very judgemental.

Very judgemental.
When things start irritating me and I get close to meltdown (frequently), little things start jumping out at me. 'wrong' things. A belt that doesn't look good on a random person's outfit. The way a mother speaks to her child. A person from a particular culture that I find hostile asking for directions. A friend who doesn't feel the everyday pressures that I do to 'be normal' and blend in with everyone else as much as possible. A song on the radio. The way an IM is worded... I attack. Rage issues. Being shoved into a little box that didn't fit me for so long has left some scars, I'd say. I hate things that don't make sense, that aren't 'good'. Those things give way to crazy, and lost opportunities. Be perfect, be perfect, be perfect...

Usually not very, I like seeing the good in people and try to remember that there are reasons that they act or think the way they do that I'm not even aware of and that are probably really complex. Sometimes it's the opposite, though-when someone has hurt me, I tend to rip them and others like them apart in my mind. Once I've gotten over the hurt, I'm not so hard on them but I'm often still suspicious and afraid. I'm very sensitive and have low self-esteem, so I think this is a defense mechanism.

Tripping over other peoples wires that leads to a reaction of displeasure makes me instantly judge them as someone I cannot be around comfortably anymore. In this type of circumstance, pretty much all individuals in some ways have this reaction, so it's inevitable for me to judged these individuals I have met into the same box.

I hope the question isn't implying final irrefutable judgements as I feel that everyone has the possiblity to redeem themselves from my judgemental evaluation of their beings. Not that I am unable to undwell on past interactions that led to my judgements, but it'll allow me to have a much more pleasant atmosphere whenever I think of them. People who disappear or break off connections with me after I formulate a displeasurable judgement on them tend to stick to my subconscious thought reviewing phases which bothers me as this leaves me in a bad mood which may indirectly upset the people around me. I don't know which side of the spectrum between magnanimous and unforgiving this makes me, though.

What you explained there has principally happened to me too several times, and it's something about NTs and not getting over things. It's as if they want us to behave in some way they refuse to tell us about or else just keep us in that lock. I noticed a former friend of mine break that spell once by saying no in an angry and complaining tone of voice which set things straight again pretty easily, but it didn't work when I did it. It's one of the main reasons why I stay away from NTs: when they have locked themselves in a prejudice about me they keep having that attitude and look for signs to verify their opinion, which will always keep coming up.
Btw, she sounds like a real a**hole, especially since you said everything, apologized and all. It's unnerving to know they act like that because they think we are wrong and they right instead of A being relatively just as different to B as B is to A, that you probably had as much reason to be annoyed with her as she had to with you. They keep playing that normal card.

I would say that I can be very guarded.
Does that mean I'm judgemental?
No, not necessarily.
But, I can appear very judgemental to people who don't understand me.