Questions on ABA

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frightening interview, garyww.

i'd prefer to let the little ones run free - not very practical i know.

after all, the aim is they learn to work a twenty hour week. (35 is probably beyond them.)

I read up on ABA on the Internet, and the descriptions seem vague. Still no idea.

I thought "Questions on ABA" was about questions on a Bar exam.

chuckle.

(grunt of agreement)

Letting the little ones run free is certainly practical.
The aim should be to let them survive early childhood and learn to communicate. The rest of the social nonsense can wait until they are stronger. Unless you break their minds, they'll be able to handle a job just like everyone else.

(PS: Anything less than college would be a disaster. A sh*t job is hell, not because of the low status and low pay, but because it's not intrinsically rewarding and because you're surrounded by lower life forms. I lucked out and had good jobs from the age of 16, and didn't try a sh*t job until I was 50. What a rude awakening!)

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When you play that authoritarian crap – smack the dog with one hand and feed him with the other – you get problems. When you appeal to the “Little Professor,” you can get just about anything.

My son was maybe four or five years old the first time he rode on a small roller coaster. I’ll never forget the look on his face as we rounded that first big bend. I put my arm around him, covered his eyes with my hand and explained that all you need to do is close your eyes at the bad parts. He actually said, “Thanks for the tip.” When the ride ended, he hopped right back on and determined for himself when to close his eyes. Over time, he got used to it and needed to close his eyes less and less until he didn’t need it at all.

Seat belts are important, not because I said so, but because accidents happen and the seat belt will protect you. I never had an argument. Except for the few times when they were too little to manage for themselves and I started to drive away without buckling them up. Then it was tears and screaming, “Mom! You forgot my seatbelt!”

Handwashing is not about me spewing arbitrary edicts. It’s about germs. Small children can understand why germs are bad. Little kids are distractible and often appreciate a friendly reminder, but no one likes to be bossed. If they don’t care, you can make faces and say, “Don’t touch MY stuff.” They’ll get it eventually.

Very few things are important enough that you need to force them on a toddler. If he is so short-sighted (ADD) that you can’t persuade him to stay out of the street, build a fence or get a leash. Other than that, most things are not important enough to impose on a little kid. Eye contact is a cosmetic issue. Get over it. It can wait until you can persuade him to do it voluntarily, probably around mid-elementary school.

Shopping – well, I’m not a shopoholic anyway, so when we went, it was for a purpose. I said that he had to behave through my “turn,” and then he would get fifteen minutes or so of his “turn” to walk around and look at whatever he wanted. And then I really gave him his “turn,” every time. He got the concept. (We didn’t have any extra money lying around, so actual buying was never much of an issue.) With a three-year age gap, by the time the little one was walking and became a factor in this equation, the older one was easy.

Until they become rational beings, focus on language development, trust and things that work. And for god's sake, don't lie. Ever. About anything.

You're an awesome parent.

Thanks for all the feedback folks, and especially for the links. To clarify though: I do know what ABA is, and I know about it in broad strokes. I wanted to know if there were specific questions you wanted me to ask him when we met. This seems like a great chance to clear up misunderstandings, to help voice opinions, to share perceptions in both directions.

A couple that I plan on asking:
Do you see ABA as a way to "curb autistic behavior" or as a tool to help autistics function in an NT dominated world?

What do you say to those who feel ABA is treating autistics like dogs, that it is training not teaching?

Do you feel there is a harmful way to incorporate ABA into autistics' lives? Do you see your work misapplied? misinterpreted? If so, how would you go about distinguishing exactly what it is you are advocating? Is there a form of licensure that needs to happen?

You advocate incorporating ABA into schools. Do you feel the average school teacher is capable of handling the intricacy involved with your recommendation, especially when you consider that every single person on the spectrum will require a unique approach? How feasible is it to implement what you want? And if it proves impractical, what do you see as the best alternative to your approach?

Other suggestions from y'all are welcome.
Nicholas

By the way, for those of you who want to see the movie: We are working on it. There are only three of us in the production company, and none of us gets paid for this work so we have to do it in our spare time. It takes a while. If you know folks out in So Cal, send'em out to see. Having a strong audience turnout (not just for "Words" but for the other aspie movie "adam") is the best way to let mainstream hollywood know that these are not fringe movies. People out there care about these stories.
Also, we just got a review from critic Mike D'Angelo on his blog "Listen Eggroll". Google it fo rthe URL.

thank you nicholas.

I didn't know that. You're ok by me.

One more question for Mr. Evil Incarnate:
Have you ever, for a fraction of a second, considered treating an Autistic child like an intelligent person, or attempted to appeal to the "Little Professor," rather than the old smack-the-dog-with-one-hand-and-feed-him-with-the-other approach, or do you know of anyone who has?

It's something that I'm glad I didn't have to go through. My parents didn't believe in it, and I've turned out to be a decent person.