Clean Body

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Ok, I am a friend of a child (age 14 male) with Asperger's. My issue is the fact that he will not shower, take a bath, brush his teeth, or shave. Is this a comman condition with teens who have Asperger's (we have heard from other Asperger teens who are going through the same thing)?

I have my own cleanliness issues and this has become too much. Do you have any suggestions on how to motivate him to clean his body? All recommendations will be seriously considered and appreciated.

ok. I'm a 13yr old girl, and I believe that it might just be part of being a teen. I have a bad habit of not doing my hair at all, when i'm on Vacation, so, but I think thats just me. Its probably just part of being a teen.

Hi there

Yes, cleanliness can be an issue for some teens with AS? Have you heard of the term "Theory of Mind" before? It basically stipulates that an Autistic person has problems in recognising that others may think differently to them. e.g, If your friend believes he smells and looks ok, he might naturally assume that everyone else does also. On the other hand, many other autistic people are aversed to the scent or feeling of soap on their bodies - some cannot stand deodorant!

I hope that helps!

If you are a proper friend, you might tell your school guidance counsellor, as your friend may be unduly affronted by being "lectured" to on personal hygiene. The guidance counsellor should talk to his parents around promoting personal hygiene.

I take a shower everyday, brush my teeth after every meal if possible, and even sometimes wash my hands after so much as touching money or something "dirty" (although I've been working on that compulsion). I don't know about other aspies, but I tend to maintain a high standard of personal hygiene, but I also happen to have comorbid obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I can be a neat freak, but I also leave some things really sloppy. That being said, I have wild, anime-like hair but I do keep everything about me squeaky clean, LOL It's kind of funny because one part of my room is barren and spare and the other is just cluttered with "treasures" from years past. Personal hygiene is important for health reasons and for presentation to others in the world. You get treated better if you are dapper, I know from personal experience.

However, on the flipside, cleaning too much can be annoying because the dirt always comes back in due time. Eventually you get to the point where you'll want style consultants and maids because you're too busy working on solving the next big physics equation. Or something to that effect.

Hi,

Its interesting that you bring-up this topic. I have always had problems with cleanliness, and had many people complain about it. I'm an early/mid. aged teen, and have had my mother, and family friend talk about how a teen could be so uninterested in taking care of his/her hygiene. And how a teen should be, essentially, obbessed with his/her hygiene, and partly to appeal to the girls/guys.

I also have had everyone else complain about my hygiene, include my brother, father, peers, etc. The reason I don't like taking showers, brushing my teeth, etc. is because I don't seem to get anything out of it. I find doing all those things a pain in the butt, and not worthwhile. I don't see a difference between me taking a shower and not taking a shower. People, atleast from what I notice, act the same, either way. And I may occsionally take a little "abuse" from others about it, but nothing that is enough to really be worthwhile.

I usually take a shower once every week, but now, due to pressure from my mom, that rate is increasing. Brushing my teeth, is essentially the same.

I'am not sure how you would get one to start taking care of his/her hygene, but for me, if my mother or father start to apply enough pressure, I will usually brake, and take a shower (and/or brush my teeth). Thats what works for me, but it still does not make me, automatically want to take a shower. I don't know how one would change a person's mentality so they would take showers, just by their own actions, or "automatically." If you know of a way, apparently, I sure could use it.

-- Andrew

Hi Paynter!

I have to competely agree with what SkyWaves said about not wanting to take care of one's self because one just doesn't see the benifits of it. This, I imagine, can be especially true for someone with AS because they might not be concerned with the immediate benifits that good personal hygiene can bring them such as attractiveness and being seen as a normal, healthy teen.

Even though these benifits might not interest someone with AS, I'm sure one benifit to good hygiene can be appriciated by every single human being: their future health. Perhaps if you were to convince your friend of the importance of their health, and with the idea that their body is given clean, pure, and healthy and once they do something to screw that up, they will definately suffer the consequesnces in the future. Heck, you can use me as an example. I've gone through periods of my life where brushing my teeth wasnt a daily habit. Each of these periods were followed by the removal of 8 or more cavities. Now my teeth are almost all in some way drilled and filled in. I also know that in about 30 years all of these fillings will start to come out and my teeth will be basically useless. I messed up and there is nothing I can do about it anymore. I really regret not having taken better care of myself, and now I decided that even though the IMMEDIATE benifits are not apparent to me, that I will invest in my future health.

Perhaps if you can get your friend to come to the same realization, they will make a decision to take care of their hygiene by themselves without any need for parental nagging or the equivalent. I guess this won't work for something like shaving, but definately skin care, eye care, showering, and definately eating right.

I have a problem where I think my room is clean, but my mom will keep pointing out that it isnt, by showing me things that wernt there before. is that a trait, also?

Thank you all for responding. What I did was simply made a rule that he can't come over if he isn't clean. Last night we had a big gathering of friends I had to ask him to leave over it and return when he was clean. He was terribly upset and almost violent. He did go home and his mom brought him back clean. The evening went pretty well after that.

I do see it as a teen thing as none of them appear to like to bath but will do so when requested, all except our friend with Asperger's who simply refused until forced into it.

Your comments have opened my mind a bit and I'm very thankful for your posts. I'm going to suggest he visit this forum. I see that this community could be a big help for him.

I enjoyed writing back. Please have him come here! I'd love to talk with him!

You should be presentable. Look in the mirror,ask a close firend or parent. Be sure to shave and comb your hair. The better you look the less likely people will tease you about your apperance. Be sure to use a shampoo such as Head and Shoulders or Denorex to controll Dandruff. Put on a good deoderant. Don't overdo it with aftershave and makeup. And also color coordination is so very important.

Yes, a little maintenance each day goes a long way. Although about the color coordination part, I'd have to say that depends what sort of look you are going for. If you are bold enough to go for something expressively dubbed as "punky", then a total color clash might be just what you're looking for -- along with the attention that frequently receives, too. My own look is partially based on Japanese anime characters and the shimmering outfits of some sci-fi aliens, so I'm LOUD with the colors too.

But no matter what clothes you wear, Comfort First. You don't want to feel chafed like walking around in a burlap sack.

I have issues with this subject. When I was a pre-teen and teenager, I used to take a bath once a week, every Saturday evening. I would say it was a "repeative routine." It sort of was a "domino effect," take it this week and the days sped by until it was Saturday evening again.

As I got older I started taking more and more baths, then eventually showers. Before I moved to Florida in June 2000 and especially since living here, I have been taking showers once a day, occasionally skipping a day, but haven't skipped two day for quite some time.

In the last few months I have chosen washing myself at night around 11:30 pm and/or (usually) in the morning or early afternoon; depending what time I get up.

I had a bit of a problem with this in my early teenage years. I showered every day, but I didn't wash my hair often enough. I had very long hair at the time, so it was quite obvious that it wasn't clean, and I was made fun of a lot for that. I also refused to shave or wear deoderant for about a year or two longer than I should have. It was, for me, more of a resistance to change. I never had to wash my hair that often, wear deoderant, or shave before, why should I have to do it all of the sudden? I was extremely stubborn with my parents about this when they urged me to clean up like an adult. I also disliked the feeling of the deoderant and the razor on my skin, and didn't want to smell like deoderant, either. Eventually, I realized that the social implications of NOT doing these things was worse than my aversion to doing them, so I gave in, and now they're essential parts of my routine.