How to describe feelings of affection or fondness

Post Reply New Topic

Is there anyone here who can put into words how one feels when experiencing affection or fondness for another person, or if you like, how one feels when they feel affectionate? Can you describe it, preferably in reasonably straight-forward, no-nonsense words that anyone can understand?

Last edited by MarchHare on 30 Mar 2009, 7:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

just to clarify, are you looking for a technical description or an artistic description?

Either or both. As an Aspie I'd possibly be most comfortable with the technical description, but I also might grasp something of the artistic way of putting it.

Wow, that's really a variable experience for me, and probably many people, too. For one thing, everyone with/for whom I've felt affection elicits different sorts of feelings, even if just vaguely. But there's also the fact that sexual affection is quite a lot different than platonic. I live with one man that I feel a lot of platonic affection for, but nothing sexual. My boyfriend is a different case in that I feel deeply sexually affectionate, at least at points.

For some people, it's just a sort of warmth, physically and emotionally. There's a sense of connection, belonging, and safety, as well as a desire to give the same. With sexual affection, that feeling is far more intense both ways--warm, enveloping, sometimes all-consuming. For me that's only experienced in a monogamous coupling. Obviously, affection in that sense can lead straight into arousal, passion and lust, which, for me, are all of those things amplified.

Physically, all of them create for me, not only a sense of warmth, but alertness, 'brightness,' even a feeling of vitality and bounciness. Sexually, it's a tickling, tingling, fluttering sensation due to adrenaline and endorphins.

Does that explain it more? What's this for, anyway?

EDIT: Oh, says on your profile you're a writer.

Mind your beeswax.

No it doesn't. It says I have an interest in writing. And in any event, even if I was a writer, what does writing have to do with my question? Are writers omnipotent or something?


Your answer helped, by the way. Thanks.

Uh, no. It made complete sense if you're trying to, say, flesh out a character, their feelings of affection, for example. It would also make sense if you're just trying to get an angle on the experience for writing anything from journalism to science fiction. It just basically sounds like a good study.

At any rate, you asked, so it's also fair to question why the question, equally out of curiosity. Writing seemed as good an answer as any, though I first suspected it had more to do with alexithymia and not being able to either identify or describe the feelings at all. It's an interesting question, and if you ask, that makes it plenty of my 'beeswax' to at least ask in genuine curiosity. You post it here, it's everyone's business. Your rude comment is extremely off-putting, especially after my help.

Understand? Probably not. I'm used to it. I just hope it was in jest.

I'll be honest...I miss it.

But not a very easy to put in words being that I can't stand too much of it.

Perhaps you were fuming sufficient to not notice the final line of my response.

Yes, I was jesting. Should have used a smilie, I know, but that’s me all over. Forget stuff all the time.

Anyway, as you presented such an eloquent argument, I’ll tell you.

I want to portray a character in a work of fiction based on myself, and generally speaking I don’t experience these feelings. But for the purposes of the story I need to. So I thought maybe if someone can put it into words for me, I might be able to fake it in my writing.

“I’ll have what she’s having.”

Ps I hadn’t heard of alexi-thing, so asked Mr Google. That was a surprise, as most of it fitted me. But it also seemed just a long-winded way of describing one of the traits of AS, which I have anyway.