QUITTER.....

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How many times in your life have you heard these axioms from authoritative adult figures in your life? It seems like such basic, primitive logic.

"If you quit this now, you'll quit everything else you ever do in life."

"America wasn't built on quitters."

"Son, you made a commitment to (insert random sport here), and you just have to stick it out."


Does anyone really believe that if you quit at one thing, than you are automatically destined to quit or fail everything else you ever attempt in life? I understand the value of ideals like commitment, tenactiy, and sacrifice, but why can't fathers, coaches, and Drill Instructors just accept that maybe someone isn't cut out for a certain discipline. Perhaps, at least, High School sports should allow students to try wrestling or track on a one-week trial basis, and if they don't like it, they can just walk away with no questions asked.

I am ashamed to admit that I, personally, am a quitter. I have never stuck with anything voluntarily for longer than about 4 months, be it a sport, job, or relationship. Now that I know I have AS, I don't get involved in long-term commitments as much as I used to, but I was just wondering how many other people out there have been tagged with the "quitter" label. How many times do you have to quit something before you move into the "failure" group.

In my life, I've eventually quit every sport I've played, from pee-wee soccer to high-school wrestling. I tried to quit the Army 3 years ago and I skipped out as soon as I was diagnosed. Every job I had I quit when it got too hard or when I had a run in with a co-worker. I can't stick with girlfriends, college classes, or the family business. I nearly quit High School and didn't graduate.

Did it all start with quitting soccer when I was six years old? Having AS, I guess that I will never find my niche in life and always be a drifter. Perhaps all those coaches were right. Still, if someone genuinely doesn't like something, shouldn't they just be allowed to walk away?

When I was a teenager, I guess I liked the IDEA of wrestling, working a part-time job, or joining the Army, but once the novelty wore off, I just wanted to get away. Once the people in those organizations I tried to join realized that I was different and started treating me as such, being attached to them lost its luster. When I realized that I wasn't cut out for military service in the long term, and I wanted to quit, I knew I was just repeating the failing pattern that I had been following for the past 20 years. I wish for just one time I had stuck with something on my own volition and actually accomplished something on my own.

I think you're forgetting that with your predisposition to too much stress from AS sensory issues that you will burn out with trying to be like the NT person who can always be around people and do the amount of activity that is expected of an NT person. I think the saying that quitting something means you'll quit everything else in life that's hard is supposed to apply to other NT people.

I know for me I have realized lately that whether I stick with something has everything to do with whether I have enough time alone to cope or relax and if I'm doing an activity that requires me to be around people a lot or causes me to feel very emotional thoughts (like certain, animes, tv and music) then I need extra time to cope afterward so that doesn't really help me relax. If I don't have the right amount of time to cope then I end up completely burned out and have a breakdown and I can't handle anything I'm doing and usually end up dropping a job or activity or both; and all the while everyone wonders why I can't handle what seems so easy to them.

It sounds like this might be the case for you. And try not to worry about all the stupid s**t people say about quitting and all the other senseless s**t NT people say. The sayings aren't really for you, they are for the other NT people.

Begin Theory
Most of them don't think about why they do what they do and find it easier to just assimilate so they love to uphold traditions; whereas AS people find it hard to assimilate and end up questioning why they have to do something that causes them pain and has no productive or useful purpose other than the fact that normal people find it annoying to have to change something they got used to without any problems (and of course they hold the majority vote so it's hard to get something changed especially if it's stupid).
End Theory

So don't worry; these sayings and traditions aren't really for you. It's just psycho-babble probably not even intended for you.

...or maybe not... I don't know.

You critizise people for not allowing you to quit then state you are ashamed to be a quitter. Take a stand! Unless by quitting in your critizism that is your stand. Wait, now I'm confused.

Don't be ashamed of yourself for having to quit so many things. There are only so many things we are capable of. Be more gentle with yourself and set smaller goals.

I am a perpetual quitter.
I have a PhD in "Quit Strategies and Quit Theory."

I always assumed quitting was an ASD trait and is to be included in the next DSM.

Oh...and my last IQ test was only 140 because i didn't complete the last few questions. I got bored and decided to leave early.

^Holy crap, I thought I was the biggest smart-ass. I might as well quit trying.....

^ you know jawbrodt...i've had a good day. rare. a change from feeling like a suicidal flea-bag dame who's nearing 50.
allow the old bag a bit of smart-arse fun.....

Imme makes good points.
Imo find something or someone you love and you won't want to quit, it's quite illogical to do something you hate if you don't have to.
So I guess the question is do you feel guilty because you quit something you wish you hadn't or are you internalizing other peoples mores.

that's ok...
I shall not come back to haunt you as you are half evil, which...of course...makes you...half acceptable....

(nya nya nya)

I would "quit" uni nearly every day, as in storm out or break down, but would somehow always go back because there was nothing better I could be doing.

^ oh. i was using a bit of artistic license there, outlier - rolling the theme along with uncustomary jocualarity.
in truth, i have never had an IQ test. But if i was ever given one, i would quit in order to boycott the whole silly shabbang.

how's catweasel?
he never was one for baths was he? a real field frollicker though...and all that pffitting and spluttering! man after my own sordid heart. Maybe you could patent him as a kind of life size ken-doll figure for aspie teen girls who have quit out on the usual teen romance scene and its antics.
i'd be into him.
(hope you are doing some drawing. DON'T quit on that!)

^ Drawing's another thing I've had to quit for now. It's due to AS functioning issues as usual, but I'm very likely to resume in a few months. (As for Catweazle, apparently many girls found him terrifying; Bayldon couldn't understand it.)