Combating detachment
I often feel like real life is not real or that I am not a part of it.. I feel 'detached.' I used to think that I had some sort of dissociative/depersonalization disorder but after learning about AS I think it is related. It seems to get better or worse for no real reasons that I can pin down.
Does anyone have any strategies or things they do/think about that have helped them 'reconnect' with the real world?
Last edited by mitharatowen on 22 Apr 2009, 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
Connected-ness:
About my favorite thing to do is - I feed some birds every day, twice a day. If you do it at the same time of the day, in the same place, move slowly, and never look at them directly, they will begin to wait for you and trust you. It's very healing. Particularly in a war zone.
Last week with my mind on other things, I walked past the spot where usually I feed them beneath two trees. I happened to glance back, and several of the sparrows had followed me for some distance and all the way around a corner, looking up at me with a quizzical look: "But don't we get any bread today?" I don't know how it is they recognized me.
I think it does not have to be just people we connect to. And those little birds become connected to us. In many ways, I am more connected to them than to my NT colleagues.
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Good-Luck All-! 28.04.2009
I used to get this quiet strongly, not had it in the last year or so. I had these feelings that there was this barrier between and the world, an invisible layer or bubble surrounding me. Other times you felt like you were not there, almost as though you were watching yourself, that your mind focused on a picture of yourself as though a camera was watching you. Finally, when you look in the mirror you didn't recognize yourself, some recognition mechanism simply didn't trigger it seems.
They occurred from two sources in my experiences, extremely bad psychological states and very little human contact. Admittedly, either of those circumstances usually encourage the other but I definitely have had times when I had those sensations when only one of those circumstances was happening. I never came up with any real solutions, except stuff that minimised those two circumstances.
I have this same problem, and some days are worse than others. Most days are cloudy and over cast, so to speak, and I feel detached. Then some days it is like a ray of sun breaks through and I actually feel the warmth of being connected. This doesn't last for long and I haven't figured out how to make it happen. I keep hoping that there is some magical technique or wonder drug that I could take that would make me feel connected, but so far I have not found it.
They occurred from two sources in my experiences, extremely bad psychological states and very little human contact. Admittedly, either of those circumstances usually encourage the other but I definitely have had times when I had those sensations when only one of those circumstances was happening. I never came up with any real solutions, except stuff that minimised those two circumstances.
A girl I work with often tells me that I live in a bubble. I don't socialize with many people here, I never know what is going on in my life (relationship, finances, etc), I never seem to know what's going on around me. I have been inside my bubble a lot lately as well, and I haven't been to vsiit my mother in the hospital since her major stroke. I don't do illness, I don't do hospitals, and I don't do grief when people die! I am not normal, and I know this, and my bubble protects me. But just now when my wife told me that my mother, who only turned 59 three months ago, has Alzheimer's and doesn't know what is going on around her, I wanted to cry. I f*****g want to cry. Nothing ever affects me, I am pretty much emotionless most of the time ... I haven't even visited my mother in the hospital ... but hearing this really upset me.
Detachment can be addressed in various ways, but you must be more specific. This issue can be approached from many angles and with different lenses; can you divulge to us more detailed information regarding the nature of this detachment you experience? Often, Autistic people do not report feeling 'detached,' but my appear so to others.
Aww I'm sorry to hear that sbcmetroguy!
No, I actually do feel detached. I feel like maybe life is a movie or a dream... I feel like.. my emotions are a pretense.. not real emotions and I don't feel them as strongly as I should.
Most of my life, I've been emotionally numb and detached and for a couple of years recently I actually felt alive and it started to regress again a year or two ago. Now my emotions are kind of sporadically on or off and I seem incapable of feeling certain things I used to feel. And I am just not sure exactly what the problem is. I have been through a lot lately and I might be using the numbness as a defense mechanism.. but I want to know how to stop it. I want to feel real emotions more often than just occasionally.
This is me to a "tee"! Only for a few short years did I not feel this way, but over the past 2-3 years I have gone back that way. Mainly in the past 2 years, to be exact. The beginning of my marriage was good, I felt normal for once, I had love, I had sex, I had a new home, I had begun socializing, everything seemed great. But over the past 2 or so years I have gone all the way back to how I was before. Sometimes I hate myself for it, because I know I will never be normal no matter how hard I try.
bringram
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Age: 50
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I feel that way alot. Can't give you any suggestions though, 'cause I don't think of it as a bad thing. I can also relate to the feeling of the day being cloudy or overcast. Last year- and kinda right now- it's like dark thunderstorm clouds. Why not embrace it? I love it when it's dark and cloudy. I love being alone in a crowded room. I love being in my bedroom with the drapes drawn. It's nice and quiet. No bright sunlight or people smiling for no apparent reason.
Very heavy sensory stimulation like loud music will usually jolt me out of an emotionally detached phase.
Other than that, I just see it for what it is, accept that it's not real, it's just my mind doing something weird, and that I'll get over it.
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'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)
richardbenson
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Brittany2907
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I experience the same thing & recently almost on a daily basis. My counsellor told me that it's probably caused by my anxiety, my mind is trying to block out the anxiety & in the process it blocks out many other emotions by mistake...she said your body can't pick & choose so I have to learn to overcome it.
I often feel like that I'm in a dream, everything takes on a 2 dimensional appearance & my senses get all foggy, I become numb. I'm not sure if this is related to the same thing or not.
I usually go out for a walk - having the wind blow in my face helps me to get out of feeling like the world is a dream.
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I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends.
I have an underlying feeling of being detached from the world but,paradoxically,in pursuing a
couple of my interests at the expense of socialising just for the sake of it,those interests have enlightened me to the fact that the world and everyone in it are inextricably connected.
The subjects I've been reading about are ancient cultures and quantum mechanics.Theories
suggest that Egyptians were aware of how the same electromagnetic forces affect each and
every one of us.A modern equivalent is the evidence that subatomic particles can be
"entangled" even if on different sides of the universe and somehow react to what each other
is doing.
Despite my natural tendencies toward detachment,I feel that I've gained an insight into
how we are all connected.It may be that we need a balance in our lives between being
able to interact and having time to ourselves as well.
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I have lost the will to be apathetic
Yeah I have it too... it's like being the passenger in a car just watching s**t go by. All actions are autominus.
The closest i can describe it to is being on anti depressents.
For me tke way to snap out of it (for a time) is a nice hard slap accross the face. I'll slap you if you slap me!
I had that aged 11-13. I had these episodes where I was sure I was actually dreaming and wasn't in the real world, they were so f*****g terrifying and disorientating.
_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)