Overeating

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I'm on a roll today.

My 9 yo son is an over eater. He always says he is hungry, and if he isn't being watched, he'll eat whatever he wants. We've tried putting the snacks away, doling them out when needed. I don't want to lock things up, I don't like the message that sends. I've thought about taking him to a nutritionist to talk about healthy eating, but it's not covered by our insurance. Maybe the doc? ... I don't know. Or a visual chart of what he should be eating in a day would help. He's overweight now, "chunky" I would call it, not fat. He said if it's going to be hard to "be skinny", he'd rather be fat. His words, not mine.

I know that exercise is a big part of it. He has very loose joints, his motor skills are below average (he did PT) and he doesn't play with anyone in the neighborhood. So he's not getting enough exercise. I am going to start walking with him after dinner, I think. I am considering swimming for him too, he loves the water. But that is only a 40 minute class once a week. He hates other sports.

Anyone dealt with this one before?

Overeating can be a stress reducer- I know I sometimes use food like a drug. Is he on any meds? My son was put on Remeron after two self injury incidents at school and an intense generalized anxiety and he has gone from a size 10 to a size 14 husky since the beginning of the year. He says he is always hungry.

He is on a SSRI. The doc says it's not a weight gain inducer, usually weight loss but I'm not sure I believe it. In one year he's put on 15 pounds.

I've never dealt with that situation before, but I was in the same position as your son. My parents zealously tried to limit my snack food almost to a point where I almost never had access. They never said yes when I asked them to buy it, even when it was on sale for $0.99. That only made me crave it more, and made me feel like less than a person because my wishes didn't count. So I recommend setting a monthly budget for your son (make it low enough to prevent him from gorging on junk food), and letting him buy whatever he wants but only within the budget. Give him incentives for not using up the entire amount, such as using what's left as extra spending money during the next family outing. And you can decide if you want to allow rollovers or not.

One interesting alternative I read on another parenting site. Encourage your son to try some really nice, high-end products, rather than the garden-variety supermarket junk food. They tend to be better for you anyway, and it sends an important message: if you're going to eat something unhealthy, it's better to eat something you truly savor, rather than something you just stuff your face with. And if he develops a taste for more expensive products, he'll use up his monthly budget faster, and eat less junk food as a result.

As for walking with your son after dinner, please, for the love of all that is decent, walk with your son in areas he feels comfortable in. My parents did this too, as a way of giving me some exercise. However, they had an affinity for quiet walkways in a large park in my area. I, on the other hand, found it woefully understimulating and boring; I preferred busy streets with streetlights, many cars, and brightly lit storefronts. I think that was because my parents discouraged me from talking during the walks. More times than not, we went to the park, but it wasn't bad enough that I couldn't tough it out.

If he's hungry, he has to eat. All the great information in the world isn't going to change the fact that hunger makes you want to eat. Withholding that from him is only going to make him crave food more.

I suggest keeping healthy, low calories snacks ready (if you do not already) and tell him he may eat all he wants of certain foods - carrots, celery, tomatos, lettuce; but is restricted on less healthy ones. Let him know that you understand he needs to eat when he is hungry, but that you want him to be in the habit of choosing the right foods for that. Then make sure you don't have much unhealthy food in the house. Keep the temptation away. Don't eliminate his favorites, just help him to understand the balance and the importance of reasonable portions.

Children absolutely should not be put on a diet of any sort. You create a lot of unitended results.

I've battled an over eager hunger mechanism most of my adult life, and it is really, really hard. Excercise definitely helps, in that it seems to allow you to "enjoy" the feeling, and burns off some of those calories, but the feeling remains very real.

I got chubby at that age too, but I started disliking how it felt, and since I was young, it was easy to lose the weight. It felt great to get in shape and be able to outrun people in tag, hehehe.

I think the budget thing sounds like an awesome idea. That was actually my problem, LOL. My mom gave me $5 every day for lunch that year, and of course I always used it all. Don't know what she was thinking.

What did you do when you were a kid? When I was a kid, all the things I did could be done alone as effectively as with friends. Exploring, bike riding, catching things, (frogs, bugs, crawdads..) climbing trees, building forts, dams, etc...
I looooved my plum tree. Good for climbing AND full of delicious plums. Hey, that would be healthy, LOL, get him a fruit tree.

I like the budget idea. I don't know what to do about the rest of the food, that's for everyone and he has 2 siblings. I'm not necessarily talking junk food here, he'll come home from school and have cereal, toast with pb, oranges, and yes, sometimes crackers or chips. But I only buy one package of that per week.

I did talk to him about having fruits and veggies instead. Dh is the one that is home to monitor all of this, not me, so I can only go on others' accounts.

About the playing outside, he's not good at that kind of thing so he avoids it mostly. I need to drag him out...he does enjoy the scooter occasionally. Swimming... short walks, long ones hurt his feet-his ankles collapse due to the loose joints and orthotics dig in and cause blisters. He's more of an intellectual guy.

Apparent "hunger", ( over-eating ), can also be the result of food intolerance, because a classic "side-effect" of food intolerance is addiction to the very food which you react to.

Common food intolerances are to gluten, ( in wheat etc ), dairy, corn, sugar, citrus, soya, among others. And food intolerances can often be "hidden", so long as continue to eat the food on a frequent/regular basis, ( until the body's adaptive capacities are exhausted, that is ).

Another reason for over-eating can be the result of the food-opioids in gluten, ( wheat ), and casein, ( dairy ), because if suffer from "leaky gut" syndrome, ( caused by systemic candida infection or by food intolerance which "opens" up spaces between cell walls in the gut ), the opioids go to the brain and have been found to suppress the "satiation" response, so that rats for instance carried on eating long after their real appetite/hunger was satisfied when given gluten-based opioids.

And of course sugar is addictive anyway, providing a temporary high followed by a slump which is only relieved by more sugar. Sugar uses up Vitamin B's, which are necessary for energy metabolisation, thus putting the body in a state of craving.

One way to discover if your son's over-eating is real "hunger" or addiction is to limit his snacks to entirely "sugar and gluten and dairy free" foods. In other words allow him to eat as much as he likes of nuts, fruit, carrot sticks, rice-cakes with veg pates etc. If all he wants is sugar, dairy, wheat, or corn snacks you can be almost sure that it is not genuine hunger.

Edit; just seen your last post. It sounds like wheat may be the addictive element. ( toast, cereal, crackers etc ), and possibly sugar, ( cereals, etc ). Try cutting out that kind of snack, ( anything with wheat in ), and see if he is as interested in eating then.

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I have to go shopping to make that happen, but I'll try it.

does he forage through the kitchen on his own , or is he supervised ?
If he forages on his own, then you *may* just have to invest in locks for the cabinets- a pain in the neck for everyone, but you do what you have to do.........If he is snacking under supervision, then it's not unreasonable to have everyone in the family eat healthier- it certainly won't hurt.....Treats can be had on occasion.....when i grew up, as long as we ate healthy during the day- we could have a bowl of ice cream after supper. the ice cream was only for after supper......

One suggestion, and I think you'll love the results, is to not have him take charge of his own snacks. There is this really cool effect if kids walk in the door hungry and see food on the table: they eat it. Whatever it is. They don't even think about it. Well, unless it is something they really dislike. When you can anticipate that they'll be hungry and have washed and peeled carrots and other healthy treats that you deliver to them before they've had time to realize they are hungry, those healthy foods will disappear.

So start by asking your husband to have things ready before your son gets home. That way your son won't even have to think about the change you are imposing; it will happen fairly naturally.

I've done this with my own kids off and on for years, and on play dates with their friends as well. It seriously works. They eat what they find in front of them. Just catch them before they've started to think about what they actually want to eat

It's obviously the SSRIs. Your doctor didn't know they cause weight gain? He's either an idiot or being paid off by the drug company. Either way, switch doctors and get your kid off the meds. They're screwing up his brain chemistry and his body.

Wow. I googled it several times and all I can find for this particular med is weight loss, not gain. I have a hard time pulling him off of a med that is helping him, just to see if it's causing him to be hungry all the time.

He is sneaking it when dh isn't looking. I need to get dh on board with making him snacks after school... I mentioned it before, but huh... nothing happened. I think a lot of it is portion sizes.

He is on Prozac. I emailed the doc...I'm not convinced it's helping all that much anyway...