Complex Behavour an acceptance theory

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I not sure but I think I have come up with a theory on Asperger's Syndrome and why some people with aspergers's are difficult to relate to and be accepted. The idea came through when questioning friends. All my life Ive been a kind of actor, not intensional but natural in a way.

Through my life I have studied people and have a kind of complex instinctual awareness of socal patterns. I am very anaylitical with people and seem to be able to tell just from the way people dress how they live their lives.

1) I think most asperger's people can tell too much about people and instantly seem to think we know them. That's why we don't need to talk through simple introduction's to understand other people.

2) Through a kind a survival system we act out a fitting profile that we think the other person will accept. I'm not sure what happens with the other person but I think they fear this and don't like the obvious although deep within we are so different.

I have never really been myself, and don't think I ever will. I seem to be lost in a kind of observational existance. I enjoy it though and at times it gives me a real high to know so much. At other times I get tired of the normal people who appear to be clones of the one person. Its worse in normal chat rooms i feel that I'm talking to the same difficult, person who delights in playing time comsuming games.

Anyone who thinks a person with asperger's is primitive is very wrong, I think people with this syndrome are at a higher level in evolutionary development. I just hope that normal people don't blow themself's up through the way they delight in betraying and decieving each other.

Evolution is a slow process and while at the moment people with asperger's are out of the social thing one day there will be the other unseen people's.

I don't think I *know* people particularly well, although I have an instinctive trust-level sensor that's rarely wrong. If I feel a lack of need to talk to someone then it's because I don't trust/like them (in which case why talk?) or else it's because I trust/like them so much that I don't feel a need to learn more about them.

Personally, I think the problem is that Aspies are too analytical. Stop examining and thinking everything through, and just react.

I'll go with seeing too much and too little. It comes up repeatedly, to my mind, when dealing with AS perceptions and concepts.

New thought: also filtering out too much, and too little?

I see so many levels to things, I can end up focussing on the "wrong" one.
(linguistic nuances or etymology in a normal conversation, for example. To the person at the other end of that, it will look like not paying attention, and they will have *something* of a point )

I think that's a lot easier said than done. I find it very difficult to turn off my thoughts and just go with the flow. I know I pre-judge a lot of people, oddly enough I'm right most of the time. The reason I tend to judge people correctly is because of stereotyping. Stereotyping is a useful tool for making assumptions and drawing conclusions about a type of person. That is as long as you don't entirely write someone off because of a stereotype. Knowing a stereotype can help you understand how someone may act a certain way, but you shouldn't expect it to hold to everyone. (It's something I learned in my International Human Resource Management class.)

That's an interesting idea. I will give it some thought.



A good while before my AS diagnosis, a clinical psychologist I was seeing suggested I learn to juggle, as a way of getting my conscious mind out of the loop, and to practice more instinctive, reactive activity. It was a horrendous experience. I spent hours failing to juggle three balls, or even master preliminary exercises. I couldn't stop the thinking getting involved, and was perpetually too slow as a result. I wonder if, when younger, I could have learnt (or whether my clumsy efforts would have earned me more ridicule, and alienation)?

I don't think my initial judgements of people have always been accurate. Sometimes I've been dead on, but other times I've been way off the mark. I definitely agree with Emeettman's suggestion that we often concentrate on the wrong things. For example, there are people on this board who use bad grammar (such as putting apostraphe's where they don't belong or Capitalizing random Words for no apparent Reason) and I tend to label them as stupid, even though they often express intelligent opinions. I'm sure I do the same thing in real life.

Analysing can be considered a reaction, though.

Stop acting as though you're the exception; you are doing the same thing now -- and stereotyping.

Thanks Peaguy, you've captured what I was saying without having to read inbetween the lines. Analysing IS a reaction, it's the Aspie reaction. It's the wrong one to have, imho. I know this is a generalization, but many of the Aspies who have learnt to socialize well aren't those that are able to think their way through situations and intellectually figure out what to do. They're the ones that have incorporated it into their reactions, into how they act.

Just to do a bit of a mindtwist, but how do you know I thought that statement through, and am consciously stereotyping? Perhaps its just my natural reaction to go against the grain, and advocate laid-back approaches towards socializing because it works for me. (It is my natural reaction, in fact.) I don't think "Oooh, this might piss some people off, so I better not say it. I better reword it so people don't get angry". In a website full of thinking Aspies, you can't even begin to guess how it will be taken, so what's the point in thinking it through? It's a wasteful, futile exercise.

I think, in part, I'm very poor at multitasking in social situations (--well, in any situation). So that while I'm focusing on something, one thing at a time, I miss other social faux pas I make just because I can't concentrate on so many different things in a social setting at once.

It's far easier for me to indentify other peoples' mistakes than my own because I was just an observer and could concentrate on them, alone. If I am in the middle of the action, my attention is broken into speech, listening, looking, moving, planning, etc., etc., etc....

But while observing, I just look and listen and analyze.

I'm sure there's other stuff about my brain that messes me up, too. But this in particular is a main one I've identified in myself.