There has to be a treatment besides drugs...

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Even though the doctor seems to think not. I just went in to the pediatrician to start the referral process, so fear not, he isn't in charge of this. But I wonder at his statement.

I have an 11-year-old who I believe to have ADD, since she has executive dysfunction in pretty much all areas, disorganized, can't gauge time or distance very well, no follow-through, and other stuff I can't remember (I have that problem too), plus she's very distracted in school. She also thinks she's on the same level as all adults around her, and always has. But, after all, there are some things that are just personality...

My son is 7 and is so hyper and impulsive and temperamental that I've stopped taking him places any time that I have to take his sisters with me unless I have another adult there. You tell him no and he either keeps asking ALL DAY or has a meltdown and frequently runs off anytime he's upset. ANY TIME. So there's not much percentage in convincing him that no means no. I still try and face the consequences, but I usually end up the worse for it. The school has "diagnosed" him with Asperger's and ADHD for their purposes, but he gets sent home periodically and runs from me whenever I do pick him up at the right time. Seems to think it's funny. And he always upset about SOMETHING, so there you go.

So I take them to the doc who hears me out and seems to think I know my kids well enough (and who has long since assessed the hyper one as such)... but he says the only options are medication or smaller class sizes. Now, I don't know if he means for both kids or just ADD or which what, and I doubt I asked the right questions because my mind does tend to go blank when a fresh concept presents itself. But I did manage to choke out, "Aren't there therapies?" or something to that effect... can't recall the exact word but it was the one I wanted. He said there were not and I pointed out that I really had just wanted a referral for a clinical diagnosis, since the school isn't helping my daughter at all except to put her into an easier math class. Got mixed feelings about that.

But really, how does medication help a person with a life-long issue learn to adapt to the world and function in it? I don't see it as being much use without at least combining it with occupational therapies of some sort. He's being wanting to medicate the hyper out of the boy for a while. Fortunately, as a physician, he's good, so we'll keep him for that. And seems to be sincere, sadly, and to mean well. But that doesn't mean I have to do what he says.

And it just sounds like he's saying that the only way they can function in school is to be drugged. I mean, putting it all together, there it is. And that just stupid.

So lay it on me. What are the therapies he doesn't think exist that help with executive dysfunction and impulse control? There have to be some. I've struggled with both all my life and learn to reign in a lot of my problems. Surely someone else is promoting better ways to teach a person self-control. Until I am certain there is no way my son can control himself, I won't give him so much as tylenol on doctor's orders... well, alright, tylenol.

I know my kids to be who they are, not people with diseases. I am in no hurry to medicate. And I don't think the lower class size is an option, but if it is, I doubt I can get them anywhere near one without a doctor's note.

I tried drugs a couple times when I was a kid, and it definitely didn't work for me. D: D: What I had was not some kind of chemical imbalance that could be corrected. It was just frustration with situations.

The worst thing, for me, was having to sit in school and do work all day. The best thing was when I got sent to a private school where we were allowed a lot of leeway, so we didn't have to work if we really didn't want, and if we ran away or hid we wouldn't get in trouble, we'd just get caught and put in a quiet room for a little while. Also, since we were all outcasts, there was no significant bullying.

I was able to relax there, test boundaries, and make friends, so I was a lot less stressed and I think it helped me mature more quickly.

And that's my 2 cents I guess.. I hope that helps in some way, even though I'm afraid I don't have any advice about how to deal with frustrating doctors. D: D: I don't see any doctors anymore.

Medication does not have to be a life long thing. There are many kids who truly need a little medication to help them focus on
their schoolwork and alleviate anxiety which can often consume them. Oftentimes, when a kid graduates high school and becomes an adult, he/she no longer needs the medication that once was necessary as a child.

Mostly, I didn't care for the way it was suggested. The doctor just decided it was the only option besides changing schools, without even suggesting getting them tested. I need a lot more consideration and information gathering before such a thing would be considered. The grim truth is that the boy at least is so out of hand lately that I'm afraid I might be too eager to medicate him, if I let myself consider it. He wouldn't even start his homework today. He didn't complain about sitting down to it, chose the pages from the weekly selection himself, and then just sat there making noises and looking at me to see what I did. I tried ignoring, reminding, playing music, but he was caught in a loop. It's like he couldn't put the pencil to the paper. He was programmed to sit and do irritating things. If I knew why he was irritated, I might have been able to address it. He knows he has homework four days a week, and it's the same kind every week, and he already knows all of it so it's easy for him. But he won't start. He finally held his pencil up in a stabbing motion and I took it and told him he'd just have to do it all tomorrow. I was too angry. Thing is, I know I'm being baited but I don't care. I've never in my life understood why anyone would try to piss off someone else. Why is that fun? He gets so alarmed when he's punished for it and doesn't seem to think it's justified to punish him, but he does it anyway, does things he knows he's not allowed to do and watches for a reaction. He even calls to me to show me he's doing something naughty sometimes. Why would anyone do that? I don't know how other people react to that kind of treatment but I have always assumed it was a way of showing dislike and disrespect. And disrespect is the order of the day around here. If I tell him to do something, even if he wants to do it, he will often ignore me. Usually. If he gets something taken away for his disobedience, it's never his fault no matter how blatantly he disobeyed.

He's also got a hot temper and I'd hate to think of him growing up sedated only to reach a point where he has to fly solo and has no skills in anger management. Really. I've got brothers that have shown me some pretty bad examples. With his confrontational personality, I can only imagine the carnage. And I fear that my sometime sweet little boy will someday become a threat to me, given his enjoyment of making me miserable. I don't put up with it, I swear, and yet he still has no respect for me. If I've done everything I can think of to have authority as a parent and still get treated like a new, incompetent step-mother, I must be doing something fundamentally wrong yet completely beyond my own ability to identify. Sometimes I think they act the way they do entirely because of my incompetence. I can't just okay medication with that hanging over me. If it's my shoddy parenting combined with their strong wills, it would be an injustice to blame them and drug them. In fact, I guess I really have to wonder why everyone's giving me so much credit. I thought it was the other way around. I know I shouldn't complain about people believing me... it's just that I don't know what to believe myself.

But even with medication, surely they do more than that? This is not what I got from the statements he made. No therapies, he said. There are no therapies, he says. How could that be? This really makes me skeptical about the man, the more I think about it..

Well, I'll stop whining now.

I have heard that neurofeedback can be successful. I don't know how I feel about that yet, though.

Oh yeah, I have been there!! My 8 yr old AS son had a really bad year at school last year and eventually we ended up at a psychiatrist at mental health . . . and of course, the only option given was meds! I was determined to explore as many natural avenues as possible, before heading towards drugs. Turns out that possibly a lot of his trauma was environmental and an age-related thing, and possibly the fact that the dietary supplements I found have helped.

If you want to look into non-drug supplements, I'd recommend you look at the following (all these can be found on www.vitacost.com and can be shipped internationally).

1. ToCoQ10 (NSI Brand) - my chiropractor put me on to this as they use it to improve concentration and attention in their daughter. My son's been on this for 4 months, and I have noticed significant changes in being calmer and less impulsive, although this coincided with him going to a new class and having a more relaxed teacher, so not sure exactly what is working.
2. Phosphatidyl Serine (Nature's Way Brand) - I was put onto this by someone else on this forum. There is a website dedicated to discussing PS helping ADHD: http://www.phpbbcity.com/forum/viewforu ... =psforadhd
Some people see calming effects similar to that of Ritalin, although it works differently. My son has been on this for about 8 months - I tend to see-saw about whether it is helping him particularly . . . sometimes it seems to but not sure. I would still recommend you investigate it as a lot of people are raving about it.
3. Fish Oil - Well, you have probably heard that one, but they say that you are best to have at least 5:1 ration of EPA/DHA. Have just had son on regular kids fish oil, but have just ordered the Omega Mood product off Vitacost, which is more in line with this balance.

I also looked into neurofeedback/neurotherapy and the arguments seem to make some sense. Better to train the brain, than to put it on some stimulant (drug) that just lets it vibe in one place. I was going to go down the neurotherapy track (quite expensive though), but son has improved so much this year, that I've put the idea on hold.

I am not totally anti-drugs, but I am anti just using them as the easy option, without investigating everything else first.

Hopefully some of the issues with your son will improve as he matures. Life was a nightmare through that 7/8 yr old age, but has improved greatly in the last six months. Hope you get some good solutions.

Oh, forgot that the other thing is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Tony Atwood has some books out that deal with CBT for anger and CBT for anxiety. The psych I saw didn't rate CBT as she said you have to keep doing it every couple of years, but I reckon, if it worked, that would be more helpful than meds. You can buy the books and to the CBT at home if you want. It is really about educating and training your child about how to deal with anger/anxiety.

I think that the doctor was irresponsible for saying that medication is the only thing. It just shows that he didn't know what he was talking about. Still... don't write of trying medication. It seems like you're just pushing your problems onto drugs and that nothing will really change but that's not the case.

Drugs may be enough for your son to start to develop skills that he will need. The idea is, can he get by? Will he learn along the way? If he can with no drugs, then do it with no drugs. If a small dose is needed then try it. I know a lot of people that have ADHD that have been helped just enough by drugs to get them by and then they learn to cope as they get older.

One thing to remember is that medications have no long-term therapeutic efficacy to the core issue they can serve as a short term “bridge” to allow for an effective social and EF skills program to take hold. It sound like both your children have significant EF differentials and proper educational accommodations and supports help a lot as does offering some structural organizational supports. A visual instructional system and curriculum will help a lot if you can find an educator who understand the EF differentials of people with autism genetics.

bookwormde