I'm dying to know if I'm the only one grossed out by saliva!

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I get crushes and date guys and like to hold hands, hug, and occasionally cuddle and smooch. But that is as far as I am willing to go. It has nothing to do with trust. Saliva just grosses me out. I would be grossed out when I woke up, finding out I had drooled on my pillow in my sleep as a child and I can't stand it when people hock up phlegm and spit on the pavement. As for open-mouth kissing my boyfriends over the years- my brain automatically goes to the fact that there is a plethora of bacteria in everyone's mouth. I wonder mentally: when was the last time they ate and how much is crammed in their gumline and stuck between their teeth? When did they last brush their teeth? Will they have dry mouth and, therefore, thick saliva? And if they are a smoker, forget it!
I have tried just going with it but I always end up pulling away from the kiss. Everyone says, "You will meet the right guy someday," and, "Just give it time." Well, that's just not working. Apparently, finding the right guy is not the problem nor the solution. It is the very reason my last two relationships ended (plus some personal reasons I won't get into because they are not relavent to this topic.) One of the relationships was with a man who also has Asperger's and it still didn't work out because he liked kissing a lot. I don't expect any man to have the amount of patience it takes to deal with my issue, because those types of activities are "normal" once you get to a certain point in a relationship. I know that. But I just can't do it, no matter how much I like the guy.
Does anyone else have a disgust of saliva and/or open-mouth kissing? How do you deal with it?

Last edited by MelyssaK on 02 Feb 2011, 7:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It sounds really nasty doesn't it? It grosses me out whenever i think about it too much so I try not to think about the festering bacteria in a person's mouth and on the occasions that I do (like now) I tell myself "You know what, its the same situation with your own mouth." Nod and move on. As for the phlegm, thats disgusting and unsightly when people do it in public but again its something we all produce. You either spit it out or swallow it (which is the lesser of the two grosses?)

I have tried that, I really have. I am lucky that my own mouth, clean as I keep it, does not gross me out. But I really hate it when I sneeze and some of my own saliva gets on my lip or arm. But, for some reason, it's not as gross to me as if someone else had sneezed on me. I know that sneezing and kissing are totally different, but in my head, saliva is saliva, no matter what activity it comes from. Thank you for your thought on the matter.
Have a queasy stomach? DON'T READ MY NEXT COMMENT: And I swallow my phlegm. Yes, I know it's gross, but if I don't see it or feel it in my mouth, it's like it was never there. I have nasal congestion and chronic post-nasal drip and sinusitis due to all-year allergies. And if I were to spit it out, I would possibly gag. When I was a child, I sneezed mucus into my mouth from either my throat or lungs, and nearly vomitted running to get a tissue from the sensation.

Not saliva. Feet gross me out. But I've known lots of people - even NTs - who are grossed out by saliva. You're no odd-ball there!

I remember that Freud had something to say on this topic, noting that someone who enjoyed open mouth kissing with someone might be repulsed at the thought of using their toothbrush.

For me it's entirely sexual, attractive female saliva doesn't bother me at all, but male saliva of any sort is disgusting.

It's completely irrational, but I think Freud was definitely on to something...

Cant bring myself to hock and spit either I'd probably not do it properly and end up with a mouthful of goo. How about nasal secretions? I don't have any problems with blowing my nose but I'm rightly grossed at letting it just drain out.

If someone spat in my mouth I would be grossed out, even if hes an attractive guy who I'm into.
Good kissers don't slobber though.

I suppose that is another thing I have issues with. I have a romance aversion. I do not like scenes in shows and movies where there is making-out (let alone, anything more physical.) They make me uncomfortable, even when no one else is watching it with me. I get bored with love-dramas. That could be one reason why I can't get past the saliva issue. I have never been in love, so I may still be bothered by it because there was nothing sexual about anything in my relationships. I am currently talking to my therapist about solving the issue. That's why I joined this site today. I mentioned to her that it would be cool if there was a such thing as an Asperger's message board of support group, like what AA has. Except that Asperger's is nothing like alcoholism (I actually said that, too, haha.) And she told me there is! So I looked online when I got home today, and here I am.

Welcome to the asylum!

Thanks a lot. I used to frequent many other forums for various subjects. But my style of typing sometimes caused others to tease me and insult me far more harshly than I suspect they would have if they were face to face. People lose all their inhibitions in the treatment and criticism of others on messageboards. Of course, I mean ones other than this one. I suppose I won't irritate people as much when I ramble on more than I should or start to go off on a tangent unrelated to the tpoic post, like I am starting to do now. But I will still try to keep those things in check. I am really looking forward to engaging in conversations (haha, ironic word useage) with other people that have or know someone that has Asperger's syndrome here!

People here are unbelievably tolerant, I have no idea why they put up with me...

I can already tell we are going to get along just fine. Hooray for tolerance!

I can't stand open mouthed kissing. I can do the little kisses on the lips or cheeks, but tongues and saliva and all of that kind of thing really bothers me. I've been very lucky to find people who understand that I am just not going to do that.

No, not at all.

In fact, (DON'T read the rest of this paragraph if you're grossed out by this!!) after licking my hand or something, as the saliva dries, there can occasionally be a very slightly "sour" yet also kind of sweet smell that I really like to sniff for some reason. It almost borders on sexual, without being truly so--at least when it's me licking myself that is. Satisfying in a unique way--I don't know how to describe how it feels. You are free to call me weird or gross for this.

Nope, your not the only one. If i ever get into a relationship with anyone kissing is off limits, and if they have bad breath thats calls for a punch to the face. I cant deal with stuff like that, I'd rather be caught on a jumbotron at a ballgame doing the worm

To biostructure: No, I won't call you gross for liking that. You like what you like, and that's fine.

I'm glad to know I am not the only one who is grossed out by it. But I don't know if it's a common personal repulsion we have or if it's part of the autism.