My BFF's parents hate me PLEASE PLEASE what can I do?

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Hello.
I might act paranoid sometimes, but..

What would you do if your best friends parent were trying to turn her (or him) against you? Im going to tell you what I did, and I dont even think its that severe.
This happened in JUNE. I took my bff and 2 other friends bowling, but none knew the others would be there. It was kind of a surprise thing I guess.
Now you will know I have aspergers. I asked my dad to give me money for FOOD. I just wanted to go something right for once, and we wanted to bowl a second game. I was saving my money for FOOD. So Cassie (my bff) paid for herself and Miranda (my other friend) paid for the other 3 of us to play. I thought Miranda said she had enough money to pay for all of us. I kinda used it as an excuse not to pay(i thought mine was for food.), but I thought thats what she said too.

OK, so everyone except me had paid for anything besides food (aspergers, I thought I was only ALLOWED TO PAY FOR FOOD.)

Lets just fast forward to the next day..
When I GAVE MY FRIENDS BACK the 10 dollarsI owed them.
Cassie was ticked at me (because her parents were saying things to her)
I suspect she has aspergers like I do, (use of big words)and she gave me "constructed critizism." I'm a very rude person and what I did was horrible. If you want to be my friend you better appologize.And so on...

Now this today is what upset me. I called Cassie up almost an hour ago, and have been writing this since.
Her mom sounded mean and nasdty when she answered. She said "I hope you know shes not going anywhere with you ever again." She put Cassie on the phone, and when we were talking her parents kept yelling and getting mad until she told them to please be quiet. Once again, theyre trying to get hert against me. I heard her mom say "What she did was unforgivable (remember what I did happened in June). I don't want you hanging out with her." "That poor lady ... .... .... .... .... .... .....(inaudible)
having to deal with her......
I'm glad Cassie forgave me. I hope God does too, I dont want to go to Hell like her parents want me to.


Was what I did really as bad as they think?
How do I let her parents know how sorry I am, and forgive me, and just stop hating me... AND I know what I did was wrong.
Do I just not get things and what I did was outrageous?


Thanks alot for any help

Guitar_girl

^^Yaye greetings Guitar_Girl.

I am sure that you have not completed a naughty act at all. I am very confused what could have offended the happy parents of your friend. I believe I would certainly completed a very similar action to yourself. I may have perhaps indeed used my food money for the bowling, but then informed my friends that I could not pay for happy foods afterwards. Then, perhaps they would therefore pay for me for bowling instead.

I believe a very similar event has occurred to me in the past, and lovely friend paid some money for me, and I believe that I blessed him with the money at a later time.

^^ I am sorry if this is horrible of me, Guitar_Girl, however perhaps you may ask your happy friend's parents what has upset them, and ask how you may redeem this. I am certain they would be very grateful for this offer. I am sorry if I am not very helpful for you.

I wish you very well.

Hello, Tomasu.
I was actually thinking of writing a letter (literally, mailing it) to her parents saying how sorry I am for whatever I did to offend them.
I'm glad I know I am not a horrible person who doesnt understand things.
I was looking forward to trick or treating was Cassie, but I dont think her parents even want to see my face again...... how does the letter idea sound?

Thanks for telling me that, and your posative attitude makes me a little better!

^^Yaye I am very happy that you are feeling happier Guitar_Girl. I believe that the idea of a letter is a very lovely idea.

I would write a letter, sure, but I wouldn't just abjectly apologize.
I think you have a right to know exactly why they think what you did was so unforgivable. You can explain (as part of your apology, perhaps) the misinterpretation that occurred. (Do I have it right - you saved your money so that you could buy everyone food afterward?) You can point out that when you realized your mistake, you went to all of your friends the very next day and repaid them. And perhaps you can even pose the question of what they would have had their own daughter do if she had made such a mistake (thought someone had intended to pay for her when, really, they had wanted her to pay for herself). I'm sure they won't be able to come up with a much better answer than, "She would have paid them back as soon as she/we realized her mistake." (Or if they do, it's probably not realistic, because a realistic answer would be the one you used and the one I just gave.)

I don't want to suggest that you antagonize them, but I think it's important for them to know exactly how events transpired, and I also think it may be important for them to take a step back and put themselves or their daughter in your shoes. Perhaps they heard something totally different from what you've written here (not that it happened differently, but like in a game of telephone, sometimes things can mutate in the repeated telling thereof and thinking about, especially with an irrationally angry parent). Perhaps they're offended about something you didn't do, or something you did, but that is completely separate from this story (perhaps something you didn't even realize)?

I suggest that you provide all of this information and ask them these questions so that everyone has all of the information. If you just apologize without explanation for their understanding or inquiry for your own, you may look like someone they can just victimize, and you wouldn't want that if you hope to continue being their daughter's friend (which will mean you will have to interact with these people again, and in a productive manner).

I have never written a letter before though..... but I might do it. Advice on how to start and what to say?

If you feel the letter is a good idea, then write one, but I wouldn't worry too much about your friend's parents. That's just how people are, they will find fault in anyone and anything, sometimes for reasons we ourselves cannot understand. I've been on the wrong side of comments from older people my entire life, basically because they do not regard being extremely shy or socially inept as something credible. As a kid, being silent made certain folks upset, other times I said things without thinking and although my intention was not to hurt anyone, nobody seemed to care. I got shouted when I did speak for saying the wrong thing, and when I was silent for not saying anything at all...

Basically you will find people who overreact to things which wasn't ill intentioned or bad in the first place. So as I said, try not to focus on it and blame yourself, because in all honesty what you did was hardly something terrible.

If the parents are [for whatever reason] really down on you, writing a letter or ANY kind of excuse or apology or explanation will accomplish nothing. Unless it makes you feel better.

I fought a losing battle for years against inlaws who succeeded in time in destroying the marriage. They hated me on sight - I did not have to do anything but be and be me.

I don't even understand what the problem is tbh.