I hate when people recommend stuff to me

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It offended me to compare me to a deliberately negative character.

f**k your anti political correct BS. I've had enough of those arguments over the last 4 years. You do realise the opposite of political correctness is deliberately offending others right?

Don't do that if you expect people to like you.

Also seems like you're picking at me for no reason then. Rather than it being because I 'wrote a thesis'. (what?!)

I know how a lot of people use 'should'. I don't like it. It has connotations. My advice is to pick language which doesn't carry such connotations.

By choosing to be on this site, you choose to follow the rules. Just like me. I've been told off for things which I don't personally consider offensive, too. But because I'm on here rather than twitter, I adhere to the strict standards of the site in which we are not allowed to engage in any personal attacks. Even if someone says something ignorant on PPR, you're not allowed to say 'you sound ignorant'. You're not allowed to compare people to negative caricatures. It's part of being on the site.

Also the fact your students are prepared to learn a foreign language makes them the opposite of people who refuse to think about connotations within their own language.

Only an a***hole would hate someone who couldn't speak English well as a second language.

In my experience, it's native English speakers who refuse to learn second languages and are arrogant over that 'why should I learn Spanish, they should learn English' when going on holiday etc. For some of them to turn around and judge people who learn their language, that's a dick move. I admire anyone who makes an attempt at English simply because it is usually so much better than secondary school French/German which some people think makes them an 'expert'.

KT67

1. It is an issue with context.

2. You're right, I'm simply sick of all of the social norms and standards as well. Example: If I don't carry my jacket a certain way I look like a ret*d.

3. I do believe we need some social norms like please and thank you but to me there are way to many that is expected from a person especially when the individual person really gets no vote on them.

4. When someone says you should I've always thought it was similar to "I suggest you...." meaning that it was optional even though they were heavily recommending it. But come to find out from my counselor a while back when it comes to employers it means that it is required.

5. As for my students, I will say it is a challenge to teach them when they're ESL(English as a Second Language) students and you have to teach programming which is a language onto itself. And, so far python is an easy language for them to learn especially when you can get resources off of teacherspayteachers.com. They're good students and they try. They are dedicated.

I think we're ironically coming from the same place haha.

I hate the word 'should' because it's a word of social norms. I hate social norms. I wish all the social norms would have to do with safety and not offending others rather than being normal.

My cousin is obsessed with being normal. She's NT. She loves being either normal or cool. If you haven't watched a show that apparently 'everyone is watching', you go down in her esteem.

My stepdad is obsessed with being prim and proper. Pretentious. You have to read the books he considers important to gain respect with him, and you have to like them too. Pre-20th century classics and occasional modernist works. Apparently 'no decent novel was written after 1942' which is absolute nonsense imo.

For years I was the same as him - just as pretentious albeit I loved postmodern works too - and I missed out on so much. My TV knowledge is severely limited by an elitist attitude of 'why watch tv, I should be reading'. Turns out that although I hate mainstream TV (ITV and most of BBC, the best BBC stuff finds itself on netflix for international audiences like Dr Who etc), I love netflix. During lockdown I've found myself doing both Netflix and reading, and telling myself not to be ashamed of the TV side of it or if the book wasn't 'high brow'.

As for please and thank you, I used to think they were important words but I notice NTs hardly ever use them unless they are children or deem the addressee more important than them. It's 'thanks' and it's 'could you just'. So I use them towards people who use them themselves, towards children and towards people I don't know either way about. If someone (an adult) doesn't use them to me, I'm not going to build up a hierarchy where they're 'above me'. I won't snap at someone 'go and do that for me' or ignore the 'thanks' though, as that is deemed rude.

And I'm sorry I was strident on political correctness... But...

People have used it in the past (NT people) to argue there 'never used to be any rules' and 'we should be allowed to say what we like'.

In Victorian times, the world was very unpc. Scientific racism was taken seriously, women couldn't vote, homosexuality was illegal. But there were also books on etiquette, etiquette was seen as a major part of the education of a young lady etc.

They're different things.

Self proclaimed unpc people have made jokes to me about dead Chinese workers. About rape. Told me they can't go to a family gathering with me if my 'n....r nephew' would be there (he's mixed race). Things like that make me uncomfortable.

I think PC is a good way of going about etiquette - make etiquette about lifting people up (for eg, this site doesn't let you say the n word without quotes, that's an eg of politically correct etiquette) instead of being about arbitery rules or keeping people in their place.