University & anxiety

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Hi, for my first real message here, I hope I'm not off topic !
After a few weeks, I'll have to return to the university. I already went there previously but I did not manage to stay. I was too frightened. When I was locked into a classroom, I was so stressed that it was intolerable, and I could not even hope to concentrate. I did not manage to speak to the others, plus I had the feeling that I'd look odd and so attract their attention. I endured only a few days...
But now, I have a real professional project and I cannot make it without the university. I would really like that everything takes place well, it's very important for me. I think I made some progress, but obviously I'm afraid that it starts again...
If you lived similar situations, if you have advices or comments, I'm listenning to you !
(If there are some things you don't understand or some mistakes, you can tell me about it. I'm french and I would be glad to improve my english.)

Explain the situation to the University. Most have people who can help, or just letting the lecturer or whatever know will maybe take away some of the stress?

Thank you for your answer. I haven't thought about talking about it to teachers... The worst for me is tutorial class in small group, in which it is necessary to be present, especially because I have a grant to keep. And actually I don't know exactly what I could tell them, and what they could do for me...

I'm not sure exactly. But i'm sure the tutor would appreciate to know how you feel.

Your university should have a department that deals with students that have a disorder, associated disorders or a disability that hampers their ability to learn in the university environment. In order for them to be able to help you you'll probably need a diagnosis if you don't already have one, and perhaps also for any associated difficulties you may have - such as anxiety or sensory issues. What this department should be able to do is to give you special allowances and someone to speak on your behalf if people are making your studies more difficult in light of your ASD. By special allowances, I mean things such as being able to do your exams in a smaller quieter exam venue, rest breaks during exams, automatic extensions if you need just a bit longer to complete an assignment and maybe in your case being able to always have a seat near the door and being able to leave to take breaks if needed. If you don't have a diagnosis you may still get some help either through them or other services. I know about these services at my university through having friends with AS that accessed these, then through my counselor. I am waiting for my testing day so in the meantime all I can do is rely on the alternative services I can access and the minimal support the Disability Liaison Unit can offer me as an Undiagnosed Aspie.

It appears that most of your problems stem from social anxiety. It may help you to know that it is an NT thing as well, but often to a lesser extent. Universities also tend to be a lot more tolerant of people deemed eccentric as some highly regarded academics have tended to have such traits. There are plenty of services and programs available to help with social anxiety - such as public speaking groups, counseling, support groups and extracurricular activities. As well clubs that tend to be focused on stereotypically nerdy topics tend to have lots of people that lack social skills and are quite tolerant of those who struggle with being social. As well they often are in smaller groups. emlion's suggestion of letting the teaching staff know is well worth it as well, especially if some of your assessment involves social interaction. They may even find ways to make classroom situations less stressful for you.

If you can reduce your classroom stress you can maybe start talking to other members of your class. Start with one person. If it's the start of the semester, introducing yourself is quite acceptable. Later on, mentioning the latest assessment, a university event that's coming up or a big news story are excellent ice breakers. Be sure to ask them some questions that they won't mind answering, such as "what do you do outside of class?", "do you like it here?" and "what do you think of the lecturer?", because NTs love talking about themselves and these questions allow them to do most of the work while making you appear more social. Depending on past experience you may want to mention that you're working on your social skills, as NTs may be more understanding of any "weird vibes" if there's an explanation and perceived effort on your part to fix it. Keep conversation to a short period of time and intensity until you feel comfortable going further. If that person is not being nice to you, move onto the next. There are enough nice and tolerant people out there for you to not have to worry about people who don't appreciate your efforts. Eventually you'll learn to interact with them to a point that talking to a person or two is less stressful and that you'll feel more comfortable.

And nice work on your English, keep it up!

Thank you very much. I'll try to get information about this eventual services. I used to feel a bit shameful in front others but, after all, it's not my fault if I can't stand some situations. I hope they'll understand. I keep you in touch