Dealing with ignorant people in class..

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I have a guy in my storyboard class who I am unfortunate enough to be stuck in a group project with ( oh joy! NOT!! !), who yesterday kept repeatedly using the words 'ret*d' and 'ret*d' in conversations with people in our group while waiting for the teacher to approve our project. After the second time I heard it, I completely withdrew and just tried to ignore it, but being the aspie I apparently am, I hear everything! After the 8th time I heard him say it, I lost it. I Told him to stop saying that word. ' what word?' ( why are THEY SO ignorant??) ret*d..dude..it's offensive..please stop saying it..'sorry I didn't know it would bother anyone'..I'm "ret*d" a**hole, I'm autistic..STOP USING THAT WORD. 'My bad'.
At least the teacher came over after that to check off our project (she's aware I have AS), he left, everyone else quickly moved away from me ( imagine that!) , and I left class early 20 minutes. I encountered said ignorant "boy" in hallway waiting for elevator and refused to get on with him. I have class again tomorrow but now don't EVER want to go back. I'm embarrassed. I lost my temper, announced to everyone I'm ret*d and that boy is an ass! Just need some encourgement I guess and suggestions on how to deal with these situations....

ARRRGGGHHH

People with AS aren't ret*d, if it was me i'd ignore him, but i know their a certain amount you can take and not take. Hope it goes OK.

I know we're not ret*d..I was just trying to get my point across, albeit apparently not in the best of ways. It just irritated me, I found it insensitive and I blew up. Is it wrong to not want to apologize..at least not until he does??

We aren't ret*d.. why would you think we are? That's just horrible.

He probabley didn't think we are ret*d, we are all special in our own ways.

Is this in college that he is doing this to you?

Yea, boy can I relate to you guys. I'm glad I found this website.

I have the same problem with getting offended with people in positions of authority using such terms because they have influence over others. To me it seems as though they should be setting a universal example that name-calling is unacceptable social behavior (we wouldn't get away with it would we aspies?), but more often than not, the teachers are right in there with the bullies dishing out the damage.

I also find myself of that self-righteousness mentality from time to time that I shouldn't have to apologize for putting some jerk in their place. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and giving this guy the self-awareness that he can't go around making statements like that forever and not expect to ever offend anyone. Truthfully, even if there were no kids in the room that qualified as "ret*ds" by the textbook definition, this behavior of his probably extends across a larger context. So you probably did him a favor by pointing it out.

My problems with others do include being sensitive to name-calling, but also anytime I hear symptoms discussed or exploited I tend to fly off the handle easily. I've done my best to hold in the anger and not make a scene, but it doesn't always work. You get to that point where you explode eventually.

I've tried a number of things to desensitize myself to the negative triggers in social settings:

The headphones work before and after class so I'm not taking in too much verbal stimulus.

I've attempted to discuss the nature of my condition to several profs hoping that they would hear me out and have a heart, but that was a flop. Then they think I'm just trying to make excuses for being lazy, inattentive, and argumentative in class. With some people, you're just never going to win.

Don't know about you, but I really have that tendency to go off into monologues about psychology and psychobabble, and that annoys the hell out of people. Nevertheless, it is such a passion of mine and I love to pick up new concepts and terms. I just have a hard time forcing myself to study, getting a headstart on assignments, and motivating myself is difficult at times (probably more to do with situational depression). My grades this time around are not the hottest, and I can not say that I'm in the top anything, even though if I could convince myself to put my nose to the grindstone, I'm sure I could get there.

But even at the top of anything, there's still other people do deal with who resent you for something you can't control, resent you because you're ahead of them, resent you because you're different, or whatever else is popular for any given week.

I guess we all just have to hang in there though. Someday the stars will shine for us.

I can handle ignorant people in class.

This is something I have only recently learned but there is a very well-defined line between being disabled and being ret*d. AS in particular is weird; think of your mind like a Ferrarri that's been in a shootout. It's a fine car, capable of holding its own against the Vipers and Lamborghinis and other superb sports car, but yours happens to be suffering from chipped paint and dripping oil.

However, AS gives you no excuse to be an asswipe; in fact, you should probably apologize to him for "Sorry, what I did was not cool. Peace?" What is the story about anyway? Maybe find some common ground. "Homework sucks. Let's get this out of the way quickly. Got any ideas?"

notsodumb might be ret*d, even though generally people with Asperger's do not have it.

My impression is that many so called ret*ds are much smarter than the supposedly normal people

Better world views, more open minded sort. Maybe not so good at higher level thinking, but hey, it's not everything. Not everyone needs to be able to do calculus after all.

Grow some thicker skin. It's just the language that's been adopted. It's really going to drain alot of your energy being offended every time you walk by some 12 year old calling something "ret*d" or "gay", etc.