Teen Second Life Addiction

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i never said that aspies were animals
my hubby and most of his family are aspies....why would i even suggest such a thing ?????
rewards work for both NTs and aspies....sorry if i wasn't clear on that. simply put, i think it's better to reward someone for positive change than to destroy their soul for negative actions !
i'm sorry that you had to go through what you had to as a child......i, too, was punished like this and would not ever do this to my own children. shaming your child into positive behavior never works. it only makes them madder.
.........and i don't know where you came up with the notion that we somehow think this is all about us. it's not. it's about raising a person who can function independently in society~whether they want to function or not.

oh, and btw.....if humans don't work to a reward system, then i guess there's no one out there working hard to get a raise ! !! !! !! !! !

I totally agree with you, Ster. Rewarding good behavior is good for both NTs and Atypicals. With my son, it has to be scheduled and explained in a detailed way. He has to learn cause and effect of behaviors, much like he studies spelling words.
My parents punished and humiliated me for what they saw as negative behavior but also ridiculed any effort for good behavior. So, I never knew if I were coming or going.


I think working with computers and setting up rules and rewards with them (for kids who are into computers) is necessary. It may be their only interest and so, a leverage tool for teaching ethics and habits. I can't bribe or punish my son with candy or dinner or toys-he'd ignore me. So we use the computer or more likely, his video games.

I think the idea of punishment and reward is hidden in the backs of NT minds. People don't want to admit they're working for a raise or trying to impress someone of influence. They'd rather pretend they are hard working, conscientious and "cool". But it's a huge factor in productivity and job longevity.

I for one did not suggest "rewards"

However, clearly defined rules and consequences for breaking rules are the core of civilized society not just some novel NT therapy.

At some level youngster must internalize the rules of his parents and of society to be able to
function...in a way thats what self-control is all about. A child who has learned self-control doesnt need to be monitored and structured 24/7.


Teaching a child to create his own structure is the most important lesson, a parent can teach an aspie child or any child.

i was never a big fan of rewards until we started having problems with son fighting the rules & consequences that had been set up for years....one of the great things about having a hubby as an aspie is that there is definite order and consistency within our household ( something son absolutely needs)
we found ourselves going the reward route because nothing else was working. i was quite akeptical about starting rewards~after all, i was never rewarded for doing what i was just expected to do....in the end, it worked for our son. and we were able to slowly back off the reward system.

Erlyrisa I dont mean to argue but what you said about reward systems isnt globally true it say of been true in your vase but in the world generally reward schemes often do work, humans only do things for 1 of 2 reasons
1.pleasure
2. fear
that is a physiologically truth, yes indeed the reward system may of not
I have raed a few of your posts and excuse me for saying this but you seem to think everyone will react the same way you did which isnt true beacuse eryone is diffrent just beacuse it didnt work for you or some other kid dosnt mean it wont work for this teen
before you get angry and post back just read a few of your past posts and figire out weather what I say has any truth before hurling insults at me.