I'm Home!

Post Reply New Topic

I just found this site and I must say that it's terrific. I've been reading the posts and can relate to so much of it. It's so nice to have a place where people understand what it's like to be a parent of an Asperger's child. Though we have our struggles, I believe my daugther is the greatest gift of my life who has taught me to appreciate so many things in life. She started a new school for kids like her and came home with all A's and B's. She was shocked, asking "Woah. Mom, are you sure this is mine?"

I guess the greatest gift of having a special child is appreciating the milestones that others take for granted. The day she learned to tie her shoes, for example, goes down as one of the greatest in my life.

I'm also part of another website that's really fun, www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com. It's brand new and looking for members, so check it out. There's also a book coming out in January. It's a lot of fun. We special parents need to do more talking!

you know you letter was very nice until I got to your page that you asked us to check out. how can you have the nerve to BILK parents of $24.95 to join some club about their less than perfect child? these sites anc so called clubs should be free for parents who so need the help understanding what its like to raising a child with special needs.. guess that is why I stick with wrong planet. I would think what you sent is considered SPAM!

Yeah, I'd consider that spamming. Any forum that asks that amount of money for what is an online community can go forth and multiply.

Welcome to WP!

Tim

I have to say that this post unnerved me, and the site itself distasteful, especially as the mother of three Aspies who I would never consider as 'less than perfect' in any way, shape or form! They contribute enormously to society, often helping others without asking for a cent in return.

Hello. I understand your concerns, but please know that there is no fee for the forum. The fee is for joining a club which gives you a t-shirt and other stuff. As a mother of a neurotypical child AND an Asperger's child, I consider both my children and myself to be "imperfect." My daughters are both incredible blessings and I would NEVER, EVER in a million years trade my Asperger's child for another. My daughter has taught me to appreciate the little things in life that others seem to take for granted and she is without a doubt my hero. Our hope in creating this book and this site is to alert the massmarket to the fact that our children are beautiful and wonderful, that every child is a gift who should be appreciated for what's inside not the outside. The book and website are not angry, nor are they attempts to make money off our children, but to put our children in the spotlight and to educate people about the strenghts and beauty of our children. We are not looking to get rich, but to change people's perceptions of children with disabilities and to give back. We understand that there will be negative responeses, but we have received tremendous responses from people who feel they are alone and that no one wants to here about their children. I welcome your honest feedback and am not here to sell, but to learn more about how parents and people living with Asperger's feel and how we can best help them. Most importantly, I came here to be a better parent. I would welcome discussions on how you think we can serve our purpose better. I guess my point for the site (as well as the overall message of the book) is don't judge a book by its cover. The book was a personal journey of how two mothers came to appreciate the joy of their two daughters living with disaiblities.

I'm sorry if I've upset some people, but for every person who is angry there is one who is grateful and who desperately wants to talk about their children.

we all want to boast about our children and we do so FREELY on this site. we get used to people joining this site and sending their spam. i am sorry if it unerved me that someone or some site that seemed to exploit parents in need with a fee to talk about our childrens successes. for some parents its not as easy as it seems to be for others. read some of the posts. some parents are angry that their child suffers daily at the hand of narrow minded society including schools, dr's and so called peers. it further upsets parents to think we need to shell out much needed funds to talk about our children. a great deal of the parents here are screwed blued and tatooed at the hands of the health insurance companies and so many parents pay out of the world fees to just get an actual diagnosis because of the health insurance companies still think that Aspergers is the newest craze of labels. only to add insult to injury when the educators in this world will not take the diagnosis of AS as a serious learning disabilty.

I do think its great that you and your child have positive aspects in your life. maybe you can stick around this FREE site and offer positive words of advice.. we would love to have someone who stays here and shares the positive moments. some of these parents so need positive feed back and find so few of us who actually share. we would like the positive feed back...

i think if you really want to serve the people as you say you would consider removing the fee to join the club.. no one should ever feel the need to take money to change the percetion of others. its either going to happen or not.. and we ALL know how intollerant the world can be about our children...

I guess I am NOT understanding what the big spamming deal is - there is no FEE to join the forum on this site apparently so how is that excluding anyone? If you want to get a T-shirt and a newsletter and a discount in their store than you can pay a fee and join. Don't want a T-shirt, don't pay the fee. I haven't checked out the forum but if it is about getting away from this fake image of the perfect anyone being an ideal than that is probably not such a bad thing.

And as far as using the delicate words - like perfect - there are alot of people who also choose to take back certain words that others have used against them to neutralize them - like "crazy" or "freak" or things like that. If you have been labeled with that stuff before than it is almost like you have earned the right to. And it is great for some Aspies perhaps who have been #1 in academic areas or an expert on their obsessions - because that still feeds into the "perfect" idealogy - you are perfect or excell at something. There are a number of people however who do not do that in conventional terms that society appreciates. Really the idea of the perfect kid is one that many parents use to transform their kids into performing monkeys and use the quality of their performances to validate their parenting - like who can potty train their kid the youngest or whose kid can write their name first, ect. Accomplishments are good to acknowledge, but some people base their worth on those kind of tasks.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.net!
I hope you'll find the site as a useful resource!

I welcome and appreciate all your comments on our website. I would love to contribute to this forum and share my experiences. Humor has always been a strong coping mechanism for my sister and I, but our worries and struggles are very real. I think you'll find that I am not here to send SPAM, but to share my experiences. I have learned so much about myself, my child, and other children with disabilities. Humor and support from people like you have been life savers. I look forward to sharing with you.

Thank you and I welcome your honest feedback.

I also consider that to be spam.

Hmm, I must be missing something here but how is it spam? (not a sarcastic question).

It comes across as though the OP is plugging the other site. Plus it pisses me off that any person is referred to as 'imperfect' - they're not a toy.

Well how about this one? I read an article that mum sent me. It was published in Newsweek December 5th 2006, and refers to autism as a "disease" on at least two occasions. The title of the article is "Growing Up With Autism". In part the article is good, but I take a great deal of exception to the idea that we are somehow "diseased"!

I haven't gone to that website, but I nearly choked on my morning coffee when I read the name of the site - I get Katiesmom's humor. Around here we see all these bumper stickers about how my kid made the honor roll. Through Scouts, we know people that "complain" about their kids' assignments (actually an attempt to boast about how hard _they_ worked to make that perfect project).

Some parents are so vested in their kids' "success" that it's ridiculous the lengths they go to in order to make their kid a super-achiever. You should have seen this one pinewood derby car (the boys are supposed to do it themselves) - it was laser-cut and had several layers of professional auto paint on it. Boy was dad upset when the car was disqualified (too heavy). Have you been to a youth sports event lately? Cripes, some moms and dads would get out there and play FOR their kid and then talk about how their kid single-handedly won the game.

I've got three kids, not a single one of them is perfect, but they're good kids. I'm not perfect, there's no such thing as perfect, but too many times we are just bombarded with what our kids are supposed to do and how someone else's kid is just so advanced, so smart, so athletic, so clever, so popular, so attractive.

So, yeah, shut up about your perfect kid and try letting him/her just be a kid!

George Carlin is a humourist who did a skit about people who have bumper stickers about their kid being an honour student. I believe it comes off his album, Complaints and Grievances. Needless to say, he isn't very impressed with such people's silliness.

I mean, there is nothing wrong with being proud of a child's achievements, but not when the parent is living life vicariously through the child. I think some parents should be banned from kids sporting events as they act like complete idiots. I feel sorry for the kids being yelled at and no doubt, being heavily embarrassed. Plus, all that yelling would be sooooo distracting!

I've been at a couple of things like that and have really had to restrain myself from telling these people to please shut up and behave. In fact, the officials of some kids sports clubs have had to eject unruly parents. In a way it's sad as they probably wished they were good at sports as a child and now they see a second chance in their child.

As for parents doing kids' assignments and projects, I used to get very angry when I put a lot of my own work into one of these and then another child got better marks because mummy or daddy did it mostly or all for them. It was hardly fair and no accurate assessment of the child's ability or lack of.