8 yo states can't get thoughts out of my head

Post Reply New Topic

Example- tonight at dinner he said he keeps thinking of the house filling with water and can't stop thinking about it. He is diagnosed with aspergers and I was wondering if any of the parents on the forum have had similar complaints from their child? I really worry about schizophrenia. Please help. Paul

Has he been able to tell you what prompted this thought? I know that in my part of the world there has been a lot of media coverage of people's houses being badly flooded, and as a child that might have preyed on my mind. If you know why he is thinking about this, then being able to talk in more detail and rationally about it might help. On the positive side, at least he is telling you about his thoughts. Many children, myself included at that age, worry alone.

My son perseverates on imagined catastrophe. He often worries that unexpected aircraft or loud mechanical noises that might be tanks are the signs of the start of global war. We have discussed this and he knows it's irrational, but it grips him, especially at bedtime. I don't particularly worry about it being a sign of some other mental disorder--if it is,

I suppose we'll find out in due course, but in the meantime I know ways to divert his thinking and make him feel better, so I focus on that. It is what it is. I think I understand this because I used to be plagued by terrifying imagined things when I was his age.

I think it's part of processing disturbing realizations about real danger in the world. You hear about the Ukraine, Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Sudan, and countless other bits of horror from the news and it sinks in that this is not a terribly peaceful or safe world.

I think he will grow out of it--by which I mean to say he will come to perseverate on more immediate problems like restructuring at work, the stress of managing a modern life and the difficulty of not really knowing how good your relationships are... at least that has been my experience!

No, Most likely not schizophrenia.

When I was young my imagination wouldn't turn off. much I think has to do with the obsessive wiring that comes with aspergers. I just couldnt stop thinking, the harder I tried the harder it was to stop.

Try getting him to focus on something, like meditating, just instead of telling him to focus on stop thinking, just have him focus on imagery.

I think this is normal for many folks on the spectrum, such as myself with a more severe autism than Asperger's. I get like this all the time but over the years have learned to shut up about it in public. It's just how some people process things.

How old?

Schizophrenia, you worry too much. Can you change it easily? Probably not. Same problem. Look to yourself as you change it. Heal thyself.

I'm not even sure he considers it a problem, just that it might happen.

Hell I worry about that too. Now you got me thinking, but I'll get over it and probably not even act on the possibilty. And I should home owner in an area where an ice jam or, and, a free floating tree will send water where it always wanted to go, since the 1800's and that is so close to my house, it's scarey and natural.

I added to this conversation as I reread and read it again, my second line, were the best. I mean it and hope you really get what I was trying to say. Parents comments, questions are always, for me, the hardest.

That sounds more like the obsessive part of OCD, at least based on your description. The important piece is whether he believes his thoughts are the truth, or recognizes them as just thoughts. Obsessions are also common in ASDs, but they're usually referred to as perseveration, so it's not necessary to start worrying about handing out extra diagnoses. Actually, just obsessing over one thing, especially as a child, doesn't necessarily warrant any diagnosis...kids can have weird thoughts sometimes, and sometimes go through rough patches that don't necessarily lead to any mental disorders. If it's part of a disruptive pattern, then you should consult a professional, otherwise try to relax.

The problem with obsessive thoughts is by trying to control them, we often get stuck thinking them instead. The classic example is, "how many times have you thought of a yellow truck in the last ten minutes? Ok, now try really hard not to think of a yellow truck." So the trick instead is to stop fighting them. As a parent, you can help by just not making a big deal of it. If he's scared and worried about it, just talk him through it.."Did you ever see anything fill up with water? Ok, so what would have to happen for the house to fill up with water? Someone would have to leave the faucet on, but don't you think they'd notice after a while, when the floor was all wet? Also, when it rains where does the water go? Oh, down the drain, right, so since there's a drain, the house really couldn't fill up all the way with water, huh?" etc. Just walk him through the logic, letting him do most of the work and have him solve his own way out of his worries. Be careful not to accidentally give him a list of things to check (because it could lead to some compulsive behaviors), make it very clear that the chance of this thing actually happening, even without taking any precautions is next to nothing.

You could also make it into a joke, if he appreciates the joke, like "Oh wow, well then when the house fills with water, I'm going to grow gills like a fish!" "Does that mean we can just sleep wherever we want to sleep?" Make silly images with it that he will enjoy and make him laugh, again so he stops trying so hard to suppress the thought, and instead sees it as harmless.

The most important thing you can do, even if you do none of that other stuff, is just relax. Being anxious will only make him more upset, and will encourage him to try to anxiously suppress the thought, which will make it stick more. So relax, model that relaxation for him. There is nothing to worry about, because the house is not actually going to fill up with water. And you don't have to worry either, as a mom, because the thought by itself doesn't necessarily mean anything bad about your kid..

Edit: it just occurred to me, if you do live in an area that is prone to hurricanes, or if he's seen things about hurricanes on TV, it may be worth having a realistic conversation about whether he is in any danger (depending on where you live), and then you can talk about what the family would do if it came to that.

Hi Paul,

My child does not have this issue, but when I read your post I immediately thought of OCD. It is usually linked to anxiety, like you're nervous about something, really don't want something to happen, but you can't stop hinking about it. It becomes an obsession and can be exhausting. Medication can help (usually anti anxiety SSRI's) and cognitive behavioral therapy. Your son is so young, it could be a passing thing. But I would google OCD and see if any of that fits.

Best of luck to you and your son.

ok, now I see the 8 part, which still means little to me. Sorry age and I get further apart, the older I get, I still remember, just less and that's a good thing. I didn't like my youth much. I bet he forgets it.

I'll also bet he will fixate on other things, be there for him. Less stressful, to your eyes,. Maybe he likes water flow, encourage it. Hell. most adults don't know how a toliet works and it can scare a kid. 101 and tell me how he's doing when he asks the next quesion and you don't know? Father and son/daughter, what it's all about. Keep it simple, and they will amaze you.

I think you are over thinking this, and in a way it is kind of an adult form of catastrophic thinking too. You are an adult, so there is more logic to it, but it is not dissimilar. I am not saying this to bring offense, but to give you insight as to his thinking. 4 year olds are not rational, so the form his thinking takes is not rational. To him, it does not have to make sense according to an adult logical standard.

Edited to add: Intrusive thoughts are part of OCD and OCD is co-morbid. I don't know if the thoughts your child has meet the level of OCD or not (not a doctor) but either way it is a common thing amongst kids/people on the spectrum.

go with the flow, tell him how the water works, how it works out side of "norms", hydraulics, simple stuff. Float an 8 year old with the AMA and you've got a basket case by 9

You are off base, start with the simple, enforce what is good. Think! There is no cure.

Sounds like anxiety to me, which often goes along with ASD. He's afraid the house will flood.
When I was a child, I was worried our house would burn down during the night. My mom gave me a whistle to blow in case of fire, and I kept it on my nightstand. That helped a lot.
By the way, my fear of fire (and tornados) was triggered by school safety films. Perhaps your son saw a movie or news report about floods?

Wow; thanks to everyone for their thoughtful replies and taking the time to post them. I feel much better now and will put into practice the suggestions here. I worked on a Psych unit for 30 years and know that schizophrenia is one of the most debilitating mental conditions and one of the most painful-so I have been fearing the worse. Actually Caleb is doing quite well. Thanks again and God bless. Paul

So pleased to hear it Paul. Been thinking a ton about your post, question, but probably for no reasons that most might ever guess,

Probably not a real good thought to read about Noah's Ark, to him, at this moment. But I would and I believe in the butterfly effect.

I'll tell you straight out, with no bull s**t, I worry about Rite of Passage, not only for the children here, in the "kids section" but also for those that have never had it. I guess, I had them (rites), but they never really fit. Not that I didn't trying to make some fit, that shouldn't and for a very long time.

I am asking and will ask those I know for thoughts, and always, start here.

with the most respect,
Alan

My 8 yr old currently thinks there will be a great calamity if I take a particular route back from school? She thinks certain street lights look too much like snakes and is therefore unsafe to drive past??

I would assume this is in the day time?

Seems like a no brainer, but I have to ask. In other words the lights are off. Does she sometimes do the same route by night, when they might be on?