Some questions about early development

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I'm not a parent, but I'm waiting for an autism assessment. I managed to get my father and grandmother to fill out developmental questionnaires (I didn't tell them they were for autism until after they filled it out) but neither can come to the assessment and I don't have any of the old documents (school reports, statement details, etc) so they autism centre have said I can bring along old home videos.

I'm honestly not seeing many signs of autism when I was young (except maybe that I intermittently ignore people and don't seem to seek attention quite so much as any of the other children I'm filmed alongside - my dad did put in my questionnaire that he thought I'd had an MMR induced behaviour change but I'm honestly not sure there's any major flags).

My questions are:

- If you had a child whose ASD wasn't obvious at an early age, what age did you start noticing stimming? Do any children with ASD start stimming at an older age? (I can see that I quite like spinning at 4 and do now, but not really before then - or at least not to a degree that it appeared more than twice briefly in sporadic videos.)

- How much of the time do you expect a child not to ignore an adult? I'm clearly able to talk to other people, and sometimes I initiate this but I do intermittently ignore them.

- What age would you consider it concerning that a child only looks up at the person when they've caused them pain but gives no other empathetic response?


In the first situation, I'm (days short of) 32 months and am lead towards the child and told to hug them. Instead I decide to bounce up and down on said adult's lap. I'm not sure this is abnormal but the same video shows the other child hurting me, they do lots of pointing and shouting and give me a hug when asked and I stand pretty rigid. Then I'm suggested to hug them back (but don't) so the other child hugs me again. My mother makes a joke to me about how the other child is very huggy after I've wandered off.

In the second situation I'm about 5 1/2 (both, oddly, are filmed around Christmas/New Year) and I'm using a toy chainsaw on my dad's head. It slips sideways and scratches him. He grabs his head and exclaims "Flipping heck, [name]. Ooh! There's sharp teeth on that, isn't there?". I look at the plastic teeth and touch them, then saw his leg instead. So I've clearly heard what he's said.

I hate to say it...but I don't see blatant autism in you as a young child.

Young kids sometimes ignore adults--they are very fickle. When a young kid is asked to say the alphabet, say, some there are times when they just don't bother. This is not autism. This is a kid who doesn't want to say the alphabet.

Frequently, they also hide behind adults if confronted with a stranger. This is not "abnormal" withdrawal--this is "normal" with preschool kids.

Many four-year-olds enjoy spinning. You see all these cute kids in videos spinning all the time.

"Normal" kids are funny. Sometimes, they are empathetic; other times, they are not.

All this does not preclude that you have a high-functioning form of autism/Asperger's. It pretty much precludes "classic" autism, based on what you wrote.

I hope you obtain the proper diagnosis for yourself.

Mm, if I do have ASD it would be very mild and definetly Aspergers - I was a precocious speaker. Generally when anyone I know describes me as a young child it's that I was very advanced at speaking (I'm not entirely sure that the quotes ascribed to me may have been exaggerated based on the videos) and had unusual focus.

I'm quite curious about whether I had autism all along or whether I developed some sort of quasi-autism.

I know that the criteria says that problems may not emerge until demands exceed capabilities but it seems like I ought to have had some subtle or previously unnoticed signs.

It's puzzling to me because both my parents were so concerned about the MMR following a "change" in me that they paid for my brother to have his jabs done separately and privately and my mother refused to allow him to have his next dose when the NHS brought it up. Maybe it's that I'm looking at short snap shots, but personally I can't see why this would have been a concern.

None of the people I was with were strangers - they were either my family or a good friend of my mothers and the child she looked after while the mum worked.

I think the only videos where I look very noticeably different to the other children are from when I was 4 and I think one of them might have been sheer excitement and the other, a ballet class, may have had more to do with me not having been to nursery.

Thanks for your reply.