I yelled at her today

Post Reply New Topic

She would not go down for a nap. Every time I left her alone, she'd fuss and whine and squeal. She usually takes her nap at 12:00 sharp for consistency.

Every 20 minutes to half hour I would go and check on her to make sure she was okay and that her diaper didn't need changing. It needed changing once and I got her up for 20 minutes for a snack at 2:00 (again for consistency). Come 3:00, she was screaming her head off and I was grinding my teeth because I could hear it through two closed doors. I stormed in and yelled as loud as I could, "NO! YOU LIE DOWN AND GO NI-NIGHT!"

She stopped crying instantly. Silence.

She then started to blubber and drool and then she looked away.

I never felt so small in my life. I'm like, "oh my gosh, what have I done?"

I picked her up immediately, squeezed her, told her it would be okay and that I loved her and tried rocking her. I then brought her out to the dining room for a little debbie and some chocolate milk. She deserved it.

Will she forgive me? Am I an awful father?

She probably doesn't even remember it.

yeah young kids are rather like dogs-they don't really understand word for word what you say-its the tone
and no she will not remember it after about 20 mins

All parents get frustrated with their kids and all parents lose it after a while.

The parent who has never cracked for a single instance during the infant and/or toddler years probably is a robot.

OK, maybe not, but it DOES get really hard, and pretty much every parent has moments they are ashamed of. Look at your stress level and what can be done to rachet it down, and give yourself a break.

Some days I don't need to sleep as much.

My sleeping sure changes for emotional and physical and intellectual well being.

as long as it's not a habit, you'll feel the pain far more intensely than she will.

that (from another site) and the "You're not a robot" (here) helped me lots

My dad yelled at me sometimes as an infant and young child. I don't remember anything about being yelled at. I just remember he was an extraordinary father in many ways, and he still is. Relax, as long as you don't do it often, babies won't even register it. Baby brains are more interested in other things than an occasional, loud voice.

Maybe you were trying too hard. I wouldn't have gotten through 3 hours of crying, but picked her up, and started over again when she was tired/had settled down. Maybe it's cultural differences.
We all shout sometimes, parenting can be frustrating...

I think it's OK to lose your temper one in a while. It's natural, and it's really a basic form of communication. We get mad when something pushes us way beyond what we feel is reasonable. At some level, I think your daughter learned what kind of thing will really make dad unhappy. She didn't know that before, but now she has an inkling of it, and that's good. I helps with her understanding you, people in general, and how to be a part of a family. As other posts said, as long as it doesn't become a habit, no harm and probably some help done.

One other thing-- As parents, I think it's our duty to remember to take care of ourselves also. It's good to be devoted to your kids, no doubt. But if we give 100% of our attention and energy to them and get stressed out, who does that help? If you were a kid, which would your rather have: A) All of mom and dad's attention, but they're stressed-out, exhausted, and tend to be cranky? Or B) less than all of mom and dad's attention, but they're rested, relaxed, and cheerful? We have to take care of ourselves, at least sometimes, in order to be fit to take care of anyone else.

Yes, believe it or not, you will have to yell at your kids. It's called parenting.

my dad would yell at me when he woke me up for school because he thought I was talking back (when in reality I didn't even realize I was awake most of the time)
one day I completely lost it, and my mom wouldn't allow him to wake me up anymore
to this day (and I am 20) i don't let him near me when I am asleep

Yeah. Make sure to forgive yourself. Blowing steam happens, letting people know how you really feel happens. Been there. Beating yourself up over it won't do either of you good.

P.S. How old? She might be growing out of her nap? It doesn't happen all at once but it slowly becomes less frequent or changes to a different time. Then it disappears.