Read this thread or Black Mage will stab you. Repeatedly.

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

Roxas_XIII
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2007
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,217
Location: Laramie, WY

28 Jun 2009, 12:19 am

Haha, made you look.

Anyways, if you got the reference above, you have heard of my latest internet obession, 8-bit Theater. It's a webcomic that uses sprites (stock images of video game characters from those old pixelated games) and is based mostly off of Final Fantasy I. It's hilarious! I've been reading it thru from the first episode, and now I'm hooked.

The basic storyline is about the "Warriors of Light" - a motley crew of bungling adventurers including a stupid sword-wielding Fighter, a pyschopathic Black Mage, a Thief who can steal anything unless it is both nailed down AND on fire, and a Red Mage who believes the entire quest is based off of D&D rules. They are sent on a variety of quests that are supposed to help save the world; however, its seems all of their efforts are accidentaly (or in Black Mage's case, intentionally) causing chaos and catastrophe wherever they go.

Here are some character dossiers:

Image Black Mage: A psychopathic wielder of dark magic. He is so evil that during the course of the story he even manages to become ruler of Hell for about 20 minutes. Unfortunately, his plans for global apocalypse are constantly thwarted by the incompetence of his comrades. He also has an unrequited crush on White Mage. His signature spell, Hadoken, is slightly more devastating than a nuclear missile.

Image Fighter: A skilled swordsman, but extremely naive and stupid. He believes Black Mage is his friend, but in reality Black Mage hates his guts and uses him mostly as a meat shield. He has patented a weapon known as "Sword-Chucks" (a cross between swords and nunchucks), which deal as much damage to the user as they do the enemy.

Image Thief: An elven prince turned con-artist, Thief can steal anything; even immaterial things such as souls and secrets are somehow parted from their owners when he's around. He also has a habit of drawing up contracts with ultra-fine print, designed to cheat others out of all of their worldy possessions in past, present, or future, which he upholds with a band of Lawninja that answer to his beck and call.

Image Red Mage: A warrior mage with an obsession with versatility. He can pretty much do anything that any other character does. However, he tends to come up with absurd plans that always seem to epic fail. In addition, he is convinced that the world is run via the rules of Dungeons and Dragons, and will constantly reference things such as "character sheets" and "attack dice rolls." He wears an absurdly large feathered hat which gets destroyed once every five episodes or so, but somehow always has a replacement.

Image White Mage & Black Belt: A duo of "unofficial" Light Warriors who pop in on the group from time to time. Black Belt is a martial artist with a sense of direction that is so absurdly horrible that it tends to ignore the laws of space-time. White Mage is a healer who is sworn to help those in need. She absolutely despises Black Mage, despite (and because of) Black Mage's lecherous obession with her. Her main weapon is a giant hammer, which she often uses on Black Mage when his sexual innuendo crosses the line; however, no matter how many times this happens, her oaths as a White Mage compel her to heal Black Mage every time this happens.

You can read the comic here:8-Bit Theater Archive

HADOKEN!! !


_________________
"Yeah, so this one time, I tried playing poker with tarot cards... got a full house, and about four people died." ~ Unknown comedian

Happy New Year from WP's resident fortune-teller! May the cards be ever in your favor.


waltur
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 924
Location: california

28 Jun 2009, 5:40 am

redmage is right though. 8-bit theater is a dungeons and dragons based webcomic that uses ff1 for art and dungeons and dragons jokes. i love that crap. i stopped reading a few years ago but i should probably pick it up again. it never ceases to crack me up.



waltur
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 924
Location: california

28 Jun 2009, 5:45 am

btw, redmage is a joke i took offense to at first. i had a penchant for playing bards extremely intelligently and annoying the crap out of DMs. it's really not best to be a jack of all trades unless you're all alone though.

it's true in life too. if everyone is good at one thing you can put them together and have much more power than having an equal number of people that are each able to do everything, but really good at nothing.

just one more way the internet taught me more than the american education system.