Should I convert back to Islam?

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In religions that are in control, there's a bad habit of cherry picking verses from their scriptures to get their way. Hey, the verse is in scripture, so it must be God's will, right?

You see it when pastor's in their third marriage preach against gays, "because the bible says it's an abomination". The bible lists 68 abominations, but they don't care about them, or what God thinks about the sanctity of marriage. They don't like gays, so God doesn't like gays.

I say this to illustrate a point. You see, the bible also says that those who chose to give up the faith can't reconvert. It's considered 'crucifying Christ twice'. Hence I couldn't become a Christian again in the unlikely event I ever wanted to. A lot of Christians don't know about this, or would come up with excuses to say I could reconvert. But I suspect that if the West went theocratic, the law would pick that verse to jail me.

Which brings me to your case. I don't know how Islam feels about reconversion. I know some places can be REAL UPSET about apostacy. Your family might accept your reconversion. Just make sure those in power accept it too. Good luck with whatever you choose.

I even noticed this way back in the 90s. Don't get me wrong, I've seen plenty of average men "punching well above their weight" with gorgeous ladies, but I think there's an element of luck and timing involved and a lot of happens when you are younger and through friends etc.

From my perspective, in the crucial years up to when I was 21-22 I made little effort, when I eventually did start making an effort I had the impression everyone was dating and in relationships. So where were all the single ladies?

Last edited by Cornflake on 18 May 2025, 8:30 am, edited 1 time in total.: Redacted sexist content

Anyway, not trying to scare you off. Just keep trying, you might get lucky. Be the best version of yourself you can be. Follow the basics, good hygiene, keep up with fashion/music/physical/cultural activities (I did fail in that area as I was too logical/academic), and keep yourself fit. the latter is important to stand out among the sporty "chads". From a mental perspective never be nervous or unsure, confidence is important, also conversation is also important, show interest in them, and also never seem like your desperate.
Just give it your best. that's all you can do.

In some Islamic rulings, apostates are given 3 days to reconvert or be executed.

A remember a Christian once telling an atheist that of she was truly a believer she'll find her back at some. Because once someone is saved they're always saved. Of course, if she never reconverts Christians will just say that she never was a real Christian to begin with.

I believe that you have get lucky in your early 20s or you're out of luck. Most women are not psychotic or have unreasonable expectations. The problem for those of us who did not get luck early on is that these women have no reason to still be single in their 30s or 40s. I know that many are divorced, but it has been at least a decade since I can remember meeting a divorced woman who is not already remarried or seeing someone. Besides, most divorced people prefer other divorced people. Being over 40 and never married is often seen as a red flag.

I did not deconstruct my religious indoctrination until my late 20s, and by that point the damage was already done. I returned to the US and started college when I was 20 and I still was very much a Muslim. Islam is very strict about relationships with women being limited to marriage only. I still had the mindset that I need to find a someone to marry, which probably scared many women away. Though the vast majority already had boyfriends anyways. If I was open to casual dating or hookups things might have gone differently, but by the time I was it was too late.

Additionally, Libyan culture is extremely segregated by gender; boy and girls go to different schools, and social gathering are segregated with men and women going to separate rooms. When I started college, socializing with women and having female friends was a new experience to me; I had no clue how to talk to woman.

For the first 3 years or so, I could not get a girlfriend. Then I met me ex, who was extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive. She socially isolated me and frequently gaslighted me. She groomed me to the point that I was scared to go anywhere or buy anything without her approval. She threatened to leave me any time I did not do whatever she wants. By the time we broke up, I was completely torn down and felt like a shell of myself. And I have dated anyone else since then. The vas majority of women I met after that were not single, and the few rare times when I met someone single I liked I was always turned down. I have remained single, not by choice, for over 16 years.

Now its too late. Nobody wants to date someone over 40 who has no relationship or bedroom experience. I can't even remember the last time I met a single woman within my age range. And even if I do meet one, what are the odds that we will be attracted to each other and compatible with from such a limited pool. And finally, I now have erectile dysfunction; so even if I do meet my perfect match I will never be able to be intimate with her.

Hebrews 6:4-6
"It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age— and then have fallen away—to be restored to repentance, because they themselves are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting Him to open shame."

Suggests the person was truly saved, then gave it away. The Christians speculate on the meaning of another verse that says all sins can be forgiven except the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I suspect that these Hebrew verses are a good candidate for the meaning.

I know. But the Bible contradicts itself every other page, allowing Christians to cherry pick whatever they want.

40 is tough, But you gotta just put yourself out there. Don't give up if you are striking out. I've said before, the more women you strike up a conversation with the more likely at least one of them will eventually be happy to see you again. Even the friend zone is better than no zone, She might have a sister, or a friend.

Funny you say that. I've asked friends to introduce me to women in the past, and they all said they don't know anyone single.

For there to be any chance of that ever happening, I need to get the shock out of this country. I've looking for the chance to do so for years, but I have no money. And now it isn't safe to fly anymore.

Malaysia is no longer moderate, it sinked into radicalism sadly.

It seems all Muslim countries eventually go through such phases.

What has occurred to me, is that I can tell my family that I was pretending to be atheist because I was scared of being targeted for being a Muslim.

I'm only interested in convinci ng my family I'm a Muslim. I just hope they will find this convincing.

the muslims in Malaysia have become radicalised over time, Even back in the 1990s my British educated boss back then was a Hajji and his idea of recreation was going door to door to muslim households and preaching the Quran. I also suspect he worked for Malaysian religious police reporting on people he suspected were drinking or cohabiting.

Despite his austere and extreme religious beliefs (he also seemed to be fasting all the time) he was one of the nicest and most clear headed people I have ever met (and I've known plenty of people over the years). Go figure!

Last edited by cyberdora on 19 May 2025, 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If money is your problem then try and learn a new language, America has lots of Latinos and if you learn Spanish then you will be able to practice your Spanish with a nice Latino woman. On my trips to the US the Latinos are the most genuine people, if you speak Spanish and want to hang out they will love you.

Muslim countries of east asia follow the Shafi'i school of Sunni jurisprudence, which is considered one of the more 'moderate' schools.
But any country that has a "religious police" can't be considered really progressive and moderate.

In Indonesia, only the Aceh province has Sharia law and religious police.

The real moderate Muslim countries would be more like Turkey, Albania and Indonesia (except Aceh).

the religious police in Malaysia were very active back in the 1990s. I can only imagine it's worse now. their main activities were
1. Catching young men with alcohol
2. Catching unmarried couples
3. Catching women dressed inappropriately
4. But biggest task - catching people eating/drinking during ramadan.

the Special branch of Malaysian police were also hacking people's internet accounts looking for anti-government propaganda. If this was a moderate muslim country I would hate to live in Iran, Pakistan or Afghanistan.

They're all getting deported now.