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Favorite Heresy?

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Natty_Boh
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05 Jun 2011, 11:09 pm

HerrGrimm wrote:
My favorite Christian (Catholic) heresy is that I believe condoms stop AIDS.


Sure, they can. Most of the time. That's never been the issue.


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05 Jun 2011, 11:20 pm

Philologos wrote:
Fnord wrote:
JakobVirgil wrote:
Favorite Heresy?

That Jesus the Nazarene was anatomically correct, that He was a Jew, and that His s*** really did stink.

These are considered heretical teachings by nearly all of the Christians that I've told them to.


What two Christians in what God-forsaken town of illiterates?

As much as it pains me to answer such an asinine question, the answer is "Dozens in the Los Angeles area and many dozens more throughout the Bible Belt". It seems that Christian Fundamentalists want their Savior to be emasculated, non-Semitic, and so pure that even His feces didn't rot. Some even became hostile when I mentioned that His feet would have actually come into contact with the dirt He walked on.

Ahh ... religion ... so many cat-toy minds to bat around ...



Cassia
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05 Jun 2011, 11:32 pm

I have no idea what I'm doing wandering into the PPR forum, but...
I know a priest in my variety of Christianity (Eastern Orthodox) who likes to quote a saying that says something like "What all heresies have in common is the unwillingness to say that God pooped."


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Philologos
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05 Jun 2011, 11:34 pm

You do not even want to hear my response to that. The question is not asinine, thank you, but a literal request for information. The difference would seem to be that the vast majority of the illiterates I have talked to use their brains, and the vast majority of idiots I have talked to at least know how to read.

You seem to have run into a number who fit neither class, nor yet the class of intelligent literates.



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05 Jun 2011, 11:42 pm

Cassia wrote:
I have no idea what I'm doing wandering into the PPR forum, but...
I know a priest in my variety of Christianity (Eastern Orthodox) who likes to quote a saying that says something like "What all heresies have in common is the unwillingness to say that God pooped."


Slava Isusu Christu! :)

The Incarnation wasn't just God playing dress-up, no. "He was incarnate of...Mary the Virgin", a Jewish woman, "and became man" in every particular. Hard to deny any of it, without ending up denying the nature of Calvary.


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05 Jun 2011, 11:47 pm

Natty_Boh wrote:
Slava Isusu Christu! :)


His glory forever!

(I recognize enough Slavonic to know what you said, but not to know the response in Slavonic, so there it is in English.)


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Natty_Boh
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05 Jun 2011, 11:50 pm

Cassia wrote:
Natty_Boh wrote:
Slava Isusu Christu! :)


His glory forever!

(I recognize enough Slavonic to know what you said, but not to know the response in Slavonic, so there it is in English.)


I had to look up the actual spelling - butchering Old Slavonic is heresy in itself. :)


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05 Jun 2011, 11:54 pm

Cassia wrote:
I know a priest in my variety of Christianity (Eastern Orthodox) who likes to quote a saying that says something like "What all heresies have in common is the unwillingness to say that God pooped."

Natty_Boh wrote:
The Incarnation wasn't just God playing dress-up, no. "He was incarnate of...Mary the Virgin", a Jewish woman, "and became man" in every particular. Hard to deny any of it, without ending up denying the nature of Calvary.

Unfortunately, there are too many people within the Christian churches that are too obsessed with His perfection to realize that Jesus the Nazarene was human - a nice, Jewish boy who could have had any women He wanted, and who also felt the need to use the chamber pot every now and then.



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06 Jun 2011, 2:04 am

Fnord wrote:
Cassia wrote:
I know a priest in my variety of Christianity (Eastern Orthodox) who likes to quote a saying that says something like "What all heresies have in common is the unwillingness to say that God pooped."

Natty_Boh wrote:
The Incarnation wasn't just God playing dress-up, no. "He was incarnate of...Mary the Virgin", a Jewish woman, "and became man" in every particular. Hard to deny any of it, without ending up denying the nature of Calvary.

Unfortunately, there are too many people within the Christian churches that are too obsessed with His perfection to realize that Jesus the Nazarene was human - a nice, Jewish boy who could have had any women He wanted, and who also felt the need to use the chamber pot every now and then.


His humanness had in fact been emphasized in the ecumenical creeds.
I rather like how my pastor says that "the universe is controlled by a human being."
Also, a reason why I'm fond of the movie, The last Temptation Of Christ.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer



naturalplastic
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06 Jun 2011, 1:57 pm

Cassia wrote:
I have no idea what I'm doing wandering into the PPR forum, but...
I know a priest in my variety of Christianity (Eastern Orthodox) who likes to quote a saying that says something like "What all heresies have in common is the unwillingness to say that God pooped."


So orthodox mainline christianity believes that "god pooped"?

Ive never heard THAT said from the pulpit!
Not in any church nor in any synagogue.

Could you elaborate on what your priest meant by that?



Cassia
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06 Jun 2011, 2:15 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Cassia wrote:
I have no idea what I'm doing wandering into the PPR forum, but...
I know a priest in my variety of Christianity (Eastern Orthodox) who likes to quote a saying that says something like "What all heresies have in common is the unwillingness to say that God pooped."


So orthodox mainline christianity believes that "god pooped"?

Ive never heard THAT said from the pulpit!
Not in any church nor in any synagogue.

Could you elaborate on what your priest meant by that?


He meant that Jesus is fully human as well as fully God (classic statement of Orthodox Christianity, affirmed in creeds like the Nicene Creed); since he is fully human, he pooped like any other human; since he is also fully God, it is accurate to say that Jesus-who-is-God pooped, and so God pooped; he is one person, not something like God overlaid upon a human, so you can't say "oh, it was just his human side that pooped, it didn't involve his divine side".

I think what he was getting at was the range of heresies that either
-deny that Jesus is fully God (and therefore even if Jesus pooped, it didn't mean that God pooped)
-deny that Jesus is fully human (and thus wouldn't necessarily admit that Jesus pooped)
-deny that he is a single united person, so that even if his human side pooped it doesn't mean that his divine side pooped.

That covers a lot of the historical heresies.

And as Fnord's experience indicates, there are a lot of people who still have trouble with the idea, even though they identify as Christians. (The people Fnord is reporting seem to be in the "deny that Jesus is fully human" category.)


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06 Jun 2011, 3:03 pm

I like the one where Jesus didn't die on the cross.

Source? The Gospel of Mark.


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06 Jun 2011, 5:25 pm

dionysian wrote:
I like the one where Jesus didn't die on the cross.

Source? The Gospel of Mark.


Please enlighten me on that, as Christian theology clearly maintains that he did.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer



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06 Jun 2011, 5:37 pm

Kraichgauer wrote:
dionysian wrote:
I like the one where Jesus didn't die on the cross.

Source? The Gospel of Mark.


Please enlighten me on that, as Christian theology clearly maintains that he did.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer


I posted about it a little while ago. It's just an interpretation...

dionysian wrote:
Actually... There is some evidence Jesus didn't die on the cross. And that he got better and fled the empire.

The Gospel of Mark, he earliest written of the four gospels, didn't originally have anything about a resurrection or ascension. It merely says he got up and left. It also implied that it was too soon for Jesus to have died from the crucifiction, and that the centurion reporting the death was lying because he thought Jesus was actually the Son of God.

Then, some point maybe 100 years later, somebody came along and scribbled in the bits about him getting sucked up into heaven.


dionysian wrote:
Sounds like they made some ancient makeshift chloroform and knocked him out. Pretty slick, if you ask me.

Read It Here.


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06 Jun 2011, 5:57 pm

Proclaiming that ridiculing people for their religious beliefs or lack of religious beliefs is being a scumbag. Also eating ham and cheese sandwiches on good Friday.

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06 Jun 2011, 6:04 pm

Natty_Boh wrote:
Cassia wrote:
Natty_Boh wrote:
Slava Isusu Christu! :)


His glory forever!

(I recognize enough Slavonic to know what you said, but not to know the response in Slavonic, so there it is in English.)


I had to look up the actual spelling - butchering Old Slavonic is heresy in itself. :)


Not much you can go without going into Cyrillic or the cruel Glagolitic.