People who mock the difficulties of others

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no one is allowed to murder me. if they do not like how i am, they can scream at the top of their hearts in disapproval, but when i shut my hatch, i can not hear them , and i do not give damn what they think.

they can continue to scream and rant, but they waste their energy clawing on my bulletproof exterior.

they can eat all the food in the world and continue to rant and scratch and pound at my impervious exterior for a thousand years, and one day they will run out of energy and drop to the ground dead, and then i will just go outside and polish my window with my hanky.

Well because people think they are the authority to judge whether or not what one is complaining about is valid or not...fact of the matter is people complain when they are unhappy, invalidating it probably does not help that person it just makes them feel like crap for showing any outward expression of their frustration. I disagree that I or anyone else deserves to have that said to them if they are struggling with things and just need to vent......and you're theory about being told to suck it up is wrong, how does invaldiating the way someone feels help them figure anything out? In my experiance if someone actually says something supportive or with the intent of helping that tends to calm me down and help me get out of that loop.......if someone was to say suck it up then I'm probably just going to feel even worse about whatever I'm complaining about and then start internalizing it all until later on down the road something sets me off and all mental hell breaks loose.

Maybe.......just maybe, they would pull their head out of their ass and realize that the way they feel is invalid! That, and you shouldn't act based on your feelings. Actions should be based on knowledge, not butt-hurtedness.

Maybe just maybe, others would pull their head out of their ass and realize the way the person feels is valid. Works both ways. And for the record I do my best to act on knowledge rather than hard to control emotions but yes I do slip up sometimes and act impulsively due to hard to manage emotions. Like sometimes I get so angry/frustrated I end up with bleeding knuckles from the things I end up hitting but hey at least I make a point to hit things rather then people or animals.

My point is telling someone to suck it up when they are complaining about something that really gets to them and bothers them, will probably make things worse.....because your basically telling them 'pfft, it does not matter what you feel just get over it because no one gives a damn about you or how you feel.' That is just the kind of rhetoric I had to deal with growing up........and it got so bad I did in fact start internalizing things an unhealthy amount and I still have problems related to that internalizing of things to this day and I'm 22.

I would think people on the spectrum and this site would have some understanding since I am sure I'm not the only one who's ever complained about sensory issues for instance, only to have people who don't really understand just how severe these sensory issues can be to tell them to 'shut up', 'stop making a big deal of nothing.' 'suck it up.' ect. and how frustrating it is when you know something really does bother you or even cause you pain but everyone just thinks you want attention or are just trying to be unpleasant.

So my opinion probably is not going to change a whole lot on this matter, as my knowledge tells me I am onto something......that being knowledge of my experiences, what I've learned in psychology/sociology and observations.

Emotions should not guide actions, period.



That's the thing, no one does give a damn about how you feel. And furthermore, no one should. How presumptuous of you to expect that of others. Your feelings are your own to deal with and yours alone. Why would you expect someone to care about your feelings, when they've got their own to deal with?

Well I will disagree that emotions should not guide actions, I mean I do not think anyone can hold them self to that standard. I doubt anyone can accurately say emotions never played a role in their actions or decisions. Now obviously one should try and look at things obectively and not act irrationally based on emotions alone which is why I make an effort not to......but I am not going to lie and say I never slip up.

Also ok, I'll be sure and inform my friends and family and aquantinces that they should all stop giving a damn, because like you say no one should care and its presumptuous, ridiculous and downright selfish for me to expect them to

I guess I figure its a good thing when people care about each other and how they feel........and the fact so many honestly believe no one should care how anyone else feels because they have their own stuff to deal with might be why this society is so f*cking sick.

I disagree with everything you said and have a hard time believing you honestly think no one should give a damn about anyone.

+1



The only reason why your parents treasure you more than any other human being is because you're their offspring - an entirely arbitrary decision if you discount the empathic connection. It's a purely emotional connection. Yes, you can say that it's a genetic function to ensure survival of the species, and that genetic function is emotion, which can and often overrules rational thought - which is why and how it's so effective.

The idea that humans should only operate on knowledge died about 400 years ago.



>>while{'whine'==true}
>>whine

Hi JWC,

It appears that your words coming out of the wrong end illustrates the immediate
need to consult your proctologist for professional advice.

Tadzio

Who are you to decide was is and is not invalid? Are you god? No? The way they feel is perfectly valid.

If you act only on knowledge and never on emotion I feel quite bad for you, you're missing some of the best parts of life out of your own short-sightedness and ignorance. Give emotions a try some time, they can be great fun.

beat me to it.

Anecdotally speaking I don't remember any time in which a guy saying that I should stop whining didn't turn out to be right once I look now in retrospect.

I think that enabling whiny people does them more harm than good.

How does saying "uh sorry you are doing so badly" help them figure anything out?

Ok well that's you...my experiences have more suggested I am frustrated and venting about something that really is a problem, and then people just disregard it and say 'get over it' or whatever other insensitive, unhelpful comment they can come up with. I don't see how not dis validating someones feelings is enabling anything bad. People in my childhood 'enabled' me to internalize things by making me feel like absolute sh*t for outwardly expressing any frustration which did some damage.

Perhaps people should be enabled to express their feelings and emotions.......and not enabled to internalize things so they eat away at them. Also you did not answer the question so I see no real reason to answer yours, but that would not help them figure anything out...but it might make them feel a little better which could contribute to their ability to calm down about it and then think about it more objectively.

And just to be a bit of a smart ass, the word enable has far too much stigma attached to it, when I feel the word disable should have more stigma since that has a more negative definition.

...

Last edited by WilliamWDelaney on 19 Jan 2012, 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If emotions do not guide actions, what's the point of anything? Why even get out of bed in the morning? If you're hungry, why eat? If you're thirsty, why drink? No emotion = no desire = no reward = no reason to do anything.


Going through life not giving a damn how anyone else feels won't make you many friends and might make you some enemies. Just don't make the mistake of expecting anyone else to give a damn about you or you might just be out of luck.

I think that's a bit harsh..........I mean I am mentally ill so I cannot really agree that being mentally ill is much of a reason to talk trash on anyone and I think its best to try and remain civil if at all possible. Also, JWC has not quite resorted to directly attacking anyone that I can see in this thread. So preemptive strikes probably are not necessary, though I don't know about other threads.