My mother makes me very uncomfortable

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Many of my mother's personality traits and behaviors give me great anxiety. She is an officious person, often criticizing me and telling me to correct my behaviors. She is easily angered by the small things I do. For example; the specific foods I eat, the hour I wake up, my posture, my clothes, the manner in which I vocalize, my vocabulary, my eye contact, my physical presentation in general, etc... It's a long list. I believe this originates from her own issues with her mother who was also a harsh and critical parent. In result, it has (this is my speculation) given her an anxiety disorder.
She likes to touch me, usually to fix my hair or clothing, or hug me - stuff those mothers on tv do. She is Latina, if that is relevant. She fits many of the stereotypes I've heard about Latino parents.
She also talks a great deal and can be quite loud, and requires me to give input whenever she speaks to me in order to validate her emotional needs for attention and social interaction, and to confirm that someone in her life cares for her.
I do care for her, but I don't like to talk to her. She does not understand this. She assumes when I don't speak to her this means I do not care for her in that moment, like I am angry, or sad. I inherently try to act like a more neurotypical person (I think) when I am around her, I always have, out of fear.

She has been this way for as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed with ASD two years ago, but she is not aware of this. (It is a long explanation)

I am too afraid to tell her. She has negative views towards developmental and mental disorders. I think I am afraid of her in general. I don't like to be around her at all, but I like how she cares for me. I'm very distraught.

Maybe your relationship will evolve through the years and develop a more meaningful dimension for you? Just because your Mom doesn't know about your Dx now, doesn't mean you'll never want to tell her? I'm sure there are things you can think of in recounting your relationship with her that you're thankful for.

In some ways I've always had a barrier between me and both of my parents. I knew they loved me when I was a kid, but neither were very affectionate. My Dad had PTSD from Vietnam and from having a severely alcoholic and abusive father when he was growing up. I would be shocked if my Dad does not have ADHD and anxiety. He was around very little when I was growing up because he was working in traveling sales. When he was around, it was time for us to work around the yard/house and he'd get upset with me as his helper if I didn't hand him the correct tool or do things the way he thought he was describing them to me.

Bottom line, my Dad stresses me out. He always has and I can never relax around him completely. He's very controlling and opinionated and will not hesitate to tell me his idea is better than mine or that my idea won't work. If I spend time with him for any length, it usually takes me a long time to settle down and for my anxiety level to stabilize.

That being said, and the reason I brought it up, is that he's 74 now and I'm glad he's my Dad and I'm glad he's still around, but.................I'm glad I have my own life and make my own decisions.

Hang in there and I would hope there will be things about your relationship with your Mom that you can regard as positive even if there are things that are negative.