scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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3 today, below average

since hardly any of the old gang talks to me anymore. That is my old group of friends, except one and even then I think hes kinda been down too as he doesn't feel like playing any game with me. Either that or hes exhausted from his job since it is the holidays.

-10 funeral went well but I just can't believe it. Still can't believe this has happened.

Hugs for you MissC, I know from my many experiences with death in the last 5 years that the worst part of it is the funeral, and that is over now. Now you can recover.

5

Had an appointment with the orthodontist today and I found out that my teeth are more f****d up than I thought. I'm going to have to have a tooth pulled in order for the braces to realign my top teeth with my bottoms and I'll have to wear braces for the next 2 years. On top of that, I don't have dental insurance so I'm going to have to really speed up my recovery so I can get a job. It's going to cost $5,000!

But despite all that, I'm well.

-10. I think I may be a victim of workplace discrimination due to my Asperger's, I keep getting my hours cut. I went to apply for a courier position today, but all the positions were filled yesterday. I have NO money for christmas gifts and I think I am just gonna go to Domino's and work for them. I don't want to but I need money to pay bills. I want to kill myself, but I don't have any pills strong enough for the task.

-1
Bored, tired, unmotivated....

^Bummer. I felt like that yesterday.




Today, I'm back to good ol' +5.

to all the people: big hugs, hope you get well

patternist: aww girl, why is that?

fantom: my man, how are you?

Scott: how are you?

0 been having thoughts about taking my life. I haven't thought of this for some odd years after I had stopped drinking. Not that i'll ever do it but I'm just really finding life too hard for me to handle. What can I say, I'm not mentally or emotionally strong in many areas like everyone else and now my nephew is in a hospital for his condition. WTF is going on? It's been one tragedy to another and another. I'm not the religious sort but now I'm so desperate that I keep and keep praying that whatever is wrong with him isn't going to be fatal or permanently affect him life like his other difficulties. He's had this condition for a while and it's his birthday. He was so excited to have a birthday and he's in the hospital with a tube up his nose tonight. He's now 5, I hope he gets through this so we can celebrate his little birthday and I hope no other complications of his condition pop up. If anyone wonders what it is it's fibromyalgia...I still don't know much about it.

Patternist: Glad to hear, at least it's not a zero
(:



MissC:
Hi miss, that's some heavy stuff, it makes me sad just to hear the things you're going through
No one is strong enough, maybe some people can look like that on the outside, but honestly it's better to let it go than burst later or never let it out.
Hope I'm explaining myself in engleesh (:
You are one of the most interesting persons I've ever met, and I'd be very sad to stop having the delight and the honor that is to have you around here, you always bring a smile to my face, and I'm sure also to many other people. You are very valuable, and I don't mean just the forum, but to every single person you know. The kids you are being a teacher right now, didn't you tell me that you love it? And what about that you are being asked to give even more lessons to even more people?
Without you I could have never discovered music like the one that Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan does. In fact I was going to ask you if you've heard Max Richter, nice music.
If you are feeling like you mention, look for help, talk with someone, exercise, get some rest, do a marathon of funny/positive movies (Zoolander, Talladega Nights, Bubble Boy and Spirited Away come to my mind), anything that will make you feel better.
Lots and lots of hugs missC, We are here to support you =)

-6.5

^HOT

10- my speech went well yesterday and it was the best speech out of everyone at the business showcase. To prove that point, I was the only one that was interrupted with applause not just once, but twice during a 2 and a half minute speech. And of course they clapped at the end as well. My speech moved people to tears and lots of them went over to me and told me how inspiring I am. I couldn't do it without Toastmasters. That is a group that teaches you how to speak in front of people. One of my plans is to speak at autism and mental health conferences and inspire hope into people with disabilities. Just because you have a label on your head, it shouldn't stop you from pursuing your dreams. Everyone can do things and everyone has a talent but sadly, most people don't look for it. I want to be a professional speaker as well as owning my own business. I am an artist and most of you know that by now. At this showcase, we only had about an hour to sell things and there were only between 100-150 people there and we made close to $200. There was actually a line at our booth and we were the only ones that had that much business. The leader from Enterprise for Equity (the business class that I took) told me I am already ready to make the big speeches at conferences. That is my plan starting next year. I know the first few will be scary and I will be nervous, but once I've done it a million times, I will be a natural. In fact people already thought I was a natural at speaking. I know the only problem is during stressful times I lose my language and speak gibberish or disorganized. My mom said if that happens, she will take over but I doubt it will happen. My speech blew people out of the water. I pray I don't get attacked again from certain people on this board for posting successful stories. I have been attacked several times from this person and I hope he doesn't see this.

^ I don't know what this person's problem is, but I think it's awesome that you are as successful as you are. I'm a bit envious. I hope your success continues on for as long as you live!

5

Had a good workout today. Preparing myself for the hell I'm getting ready to put myself through.

^ thank you very much.

-2 I am feeling suspicous. There is something going down on WP but i cant give any details because I might wrong but its making me paranoid.
Not paranoid. Its just making me think and then i think some else and then some else and i beleive it and then when i calm down none or most of it wasnt even true but what if it is true