Tired of having plans canceled. :/

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So I'm not supposed to ask anything of them out of fear that they dated a nag before me? If they do care about me, they have an odd way of showing it. I.E. beating the s**t out of me, manipulating me for sexual favors, or ignoring me entirely. :/

I was a late bloomer in the whole "dating scene" I didn't date anyone until I was 17. So where most girls start dating at age 12 these days, I'm about 5 years behind most. So technically, when it comes to issues with men, I have the same experience as a 16 year old. I can only push my comfort zone out so much. If I was comfortable with everything, I'd be living a dangerous lifestyle.

Your second post - 1. Just like my father did to my mom! She hasn't dated since he left 19 years ago. That will probably be me, only without the marriage and children since I'll probably won't get that far.
2. So....kind of like what's happened to me twice before? I didn't expect proposal out of either of them but I cared for them deeply. I dated two guys and they both cheated. 100% fail rate for me!

Not saying that you should be fearful in a relationship or walk on eggshells. Just be understanding.

I know your history, I do pay attention. I also paid attention to the fact that at least here tonight you pretty much have nothing good to say when I say something semi-good. However you seem plenty to say to the negative, I sense that I'm not the only cynical person on WP tonight. Only difference is I see not only the messages but the pain behind them, though I can't really blame you for not being able to read me. No one ever knows my intentions unless I state them.

I've experienced mostly negative things so I guess I specialize in it. I wish I could say positive things but they really aren't coming to me right now. I'm terrible at reading people through text, which is what got me into this mess in the first place. Stupid Erisad. >.<

I´m sorry he cancelled twice and he started looking for someone else on fb.

If he is still interested on seeing you he´ll be the one that makes the effort re-scheduling, as you mentioned in one of your posts you should both do 50/50 and it seems like he has to start doing his part now.


Im not going to advice to celebrate nothing happened because I dont see a point on doing that. However I´d advice you to try to go out as much as you can.(If you have a look in the how do I get a boyfriend thread at L&D you will see Im not the only one advicing women to get out as much as they can. You have to face the fact that its high unlikely a handsome man will start knocking at your door anytime soon and try to get out so you can eventually meet someone that will do that).



I´ve been re-scheduled many times and it sucks but sometimes you have to make an effort and pretend its ok with you.

Sounds like he is stringing you along and playing the field. You can do a lot better than that.

He may just be that type of guy that thinks if you hate him he wants you.

spongy- I go out once or twice a week with friends usually. I can't really afford to go much more than that. Curse my lack of a steady income! Hell, usually one of my prettier friends will brag that she had been given food and multiple drinks and didn't have to pay for it when she's already loaded as it is. It's just because she's hot, her personality is controlling and she has a very shrill voice. It's very obvious that she has a Messiah Complex but guys go after her anyways because she has money and a hot body. It's so f*****g frustrating. So whenever I go out with my friends, anything I do is negated by the prettier friends in the group. I should probably start hanging out with uglier people. :/


sluice - can I? I'm not so sure if I can at this point. I'd be lucky if I ever date again.

flyingkittycat - Eh? Geeze. Not every girl wants an a**hole. I've been through that twice already and got nothing to show for it. When will guys learn that girls don't want that? f*****g idiot.

A few times is ok. I only mentioned because every now and then you see a girl complaining about not having a bf and when you start asking her if she goes out and so she says she prefers to stay at home doing nothing than going out and you start thinking if you dont go out the chances of meeting someone new decrease in a massive rate.
[quote="Erisad"So whenever I go out with my friends, anything I do is negated by the prettier friends in the group. I should probably start hanging out with uglier people. :/[/quote]
Looking for new friends can be a hard time and if most guys usually try to avoid a group of girls that arent good looking(as you mentioned on another thread they usually go for the looks so if no one in the group has them the group will most likely end up being ignored).

I´d suggest trying to focus on your strengths whenever you are around guys(a pretty girl may have the looks but Im sure you are funnier/more intelligent/have your own strengths). My longest relationship started on a time I focus on being funny(according to some people my strength), she was in my class and whenever I saw she wasnt busy with classwork I´d sit next to her and start telling her some jokes. This lead to an eventual friendship that then lead to a me asking her out and a relationship that lasted a few years. Im sure she would have rejected me if I hadnt shown her my sense of humour.
You have to find what your strength is and to try to show your strength whenever a guy you like might be interested in you. You may become tired of doing this and stop it whenever you want but you have to find your own strength and try to develop it to its highest level possible.

Well, there's a lot of guy friends in my group too. Some of them are really tough-looking so maybe any new "normal" people might be scared of them. Most of these guys are either taken or I don't see them as anything more than a friend. It's sad but I can't picture myself with any of my current friends because of it. That and I feel that they deserve a lot better than me. >.>

I don't know what my strengths are, if I have any. I have a sense of humor but it's usually dark or "off-the-wall" humor, not really good for meeting people. I'm usually either bubbly and cutesy or exhausted and pessimistic. I guess being happy all the time exhausts me after awhile. >.<

ok, sorry; that was a little insensitive of me. It's probably a little to recent to celebrate at the moment, but someday you will look back and breathe a sigh of relief that you didn't pin all your hope on this guy.

And no, I wasn't suggestion you celebrate that you were undesirable etc at all.; the only person here who sounds undesirable is the jerk on facebook; I was suggesting you celebrate that now you're not involved with him you have a chance to do so much better. It's all about frame of mind; you're actively deciding 'screw him' so you're the one who's moved on to better things.

I mean, you could have just pined over him and facebook-stalked him for the next 6 months, but you chose not to (unlike many girls I know); that is something to be proud of!

There are many people in the world who are so scared of being alone that they attach themselves like limpets to the first guy who comes along, regardless of personality differences; these people never give themselves a chance to be happy and often stick by them for years despite quickly hating them (they even get married, have kids etc.) and it's a lot more depressing than someone who knows when to quit and has the self-respect to do so!

edit: you sound a bit like a friend of mine. She puts herself down a lot too, but her friends all think she's cool. I really think you need to work loads on your self-esteem so that it's rock solid before you meet any guys; that way whether it works out or it doesn't, it will be easier.

I know I put myself down a lot and I shouldn't but it's just so easy to do it. It's like I set myself up for it. I have been losing weight to help with my confidence a bit. I have lost a bit, not enough to need new clothes but enough that they're fitting better and people have noticed. Even the ones who just met me a few weeks ago noticed a change in my weight. Apparently, I don't look as heavy as I really am because it startled one friend of mine who I told and she's like, "Nuh uh! There's no way you're that heavy!" It's true though. I have the stereotypical German female build (genetically, anyway). Short and solid. I always was heavier than I looked, even as a thin child. It's my muscle structure. When my dad loses weight, he gains more muscle than the fat he loses so his weight goes up, it's appearing to be the same for me.

I'm also shaky right now because I just finished an interview for my internship. I went in to schedule the time and the guy's like "let's do it now!" I had no portfolio on me, only my transcripts. I felt so stupid. I'm looking through my flash drive and can't find anything that I want to send him. I'll have to edit the crap out of everything before I send it. >.<

Which isn't a problem contrary to popular belief about girls. Girls that can lift 3/4s of what I lift are still feminine and sexy.

Really? I thought that muscular girls looked butch (Jillian Michaels is a good example of this, she's really masculine!). I'm already mistaken for a lesbian most of the time anyway. It's probably because I'm of a stocky build, have short hair and wear plaid shirts every so often. I only own two of them but those are the shirts everyone remembers. They're not even the flannel redneck plaid, they're pretty pink and blue plaid shirts. *sigh* D:

Even though being heavier with muscle isn't a bad thing, it would propose an entirely different set of problems. I guess I'll jump that hurdle when I get there.

Takes more then a little muscle to look muscular. Jillian Michaels is a lowly 117lbs despite her training regimen. She is apparently only 13% body fat. I might add a lot of think she's pretty sexy.

My BMI is 24. I'm not too happy with it because I was 11% before I started weightlifting and now I look and weigh fairly average despite being one of the top guys in personal fitness in high school. A lack of body fat is what makes a body builder not muscle. All the situps in the world couldn't give me a six pack. Despite the fact that people have punched me in the stomach and said oww.

Meh, BMI is a sketchy way to tell if someone is at a healthy weight or not because it doesn't take muscle into account. I forgot what mine is but I remember not liking it. :/

I'd use body fat but I have no way of getting mine. My BMI was on the doctor's papers the last time I went for an appointment. So apparently it has it's uses despite how much I disagree with it.