Dealing with Changes of Plans with my Girlfriend

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Brushtail Hazel
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Joined: 10 May 2025
Age: 23
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 5
Location: Australia

13 May 2025, 11:53 am

I have been dating a girl for about a month now and it's going well and I love her heaps. However, she has a lot of commitments with another partner and her partner's daughter she co-parents, and she often has to change plans last minute, sometimes several times in the one day.

I am really struggling to handle this as while a lot of my life is chaos, I like to be able to predict what my friends are doing. Like, I know one of my friends is going to be 30 minutes late to everything so that doesn't stress me out any more. I can deal with that. But my girlfriend saying "I'll be over at 2" to "I had to help out my partner with such and such i'll be over at 3" to "It's raining can I call when I calm down" to "I don't feel up to calling, but I'll see you tomorrow" just makes me feel like I can't catch my footing. It's hard. It's so hard.

If anyone has ideas on how to make this less of a problem I would like it a lot.
Thank you



nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,093
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

13 May 2025, 2:29 pm

Since the relationship has only been going for about a month I would suggest asking yourself if you think you could possibly learn to be OK with her changing plans at the last minute. I would expect her behavior to stay this way because her daughter should obviously be her first priority so your girlfriend would have to fit you in around that.

My girlfriend has to change plans a bit with me because of her various issues & I handle it very badly sometimes. I handle it a lot better than I used to but that's partly because Cass started making me a higher priority & she's been setting more boundaries with her family. I hate feeling like she makes her family a higher priority than me & it seems to me sometimes that her family takes advantage of & uses her. Cass comes back in a bad mood & expects me to support her even though she put herself in that position. Cass is almost always my top priority.


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