not very helpful replies to numerous threads in The Haven

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What about people who have no interest in being "successful". What if someone just wants to be able to get through a single day in this world without wishing they were dead. I mean, lets face reality, not everyone has a special interest that will help them earn a living. Some are going to have to get their mental sustenance from something outside of work / career. For some even if you can find a job, spending 8-10 hours a day in hell and then coming home and spending the evening alone with no energy to find anything to enjoy at all is simply unsustainable.

I sort of had all my choices taken away from me. My parents died in my early twenties. I have no siblings and our familiy abandoned us when my mother's cancer flaired. I had no options - it was sink or swim. And it sure as hell wasn't easy - still isn't nearly 17 years later.

The only thing that truly got me through was putting my brain to work and getting resourceful. I explored every single possible option. I called all sorts of public agencies and enlisted their help - I got references and leads and lists of potential people and places that could help. I kept notebooks full of numbers and names. I always hated calling people and I definitely hated feeling like a pest. I found a way to get over that when my option was living on the street or making the phones calls.

I have no idea if this approach works for anybody else - I had no choice. That certainly brings a certain motivation into play. If your support system disappeared tomorrow, what would you do? I know that is a stressful thought for lots of folks - NT, AS or otherwise - but that's the fear you need to challenge in order to make a big change in your life.

I'm sorry you've been experiencing less than understanding responses. I've noticed that trend too and I occassionally step up and say something about it. The spirit of this section of the forum seems to have been temporarily misplaced. And it does need to come back to being a kinder and gentler place.

I am nineteen years old at the moment, and I recognize that I am at the point of sink or swim due to my parent's financial situation. My circumstances are somewhat better than many here but regardless I am starting to navigate a world that seems indifferent to a person's struggles or conditions.

I am fortunate that I am high functioning. However, I credit my high functionality to studying books on socialization skills and putting myself out there and initiating contact with people for practice (a painful thing for many aspies to do). Social skills can be learned. After seeing this thread, I wanted to empathize this. No matter how impossible it may seem; you skeptical aspies are still human and capable of rewiring your brains to at least improve your social skills through trial & error.

I WISH I WAS NORMAL

That’s what my son used to say. He was a very happy always busy, always with friends, a social kid who loved life. A sweet boy who never said anything bad about anybody.
Loved music, art and writhing. For 17 years he was the best son anybody can wish for. He had a job a girlfriend for almost a year and he had a plan. In the future he wanted a good job get married and have a family. He wrote a beautiful short story about it in college. It was so well written it was published in the yearbook. Then at 18 his hormones changed. Acted really rude sometimes. He isolated himself from friends, broke up with his girlfriend and lost his job because he was clumsy. Dropping dishes all the time. He spent most of his time on the computer or just in his room. We new something is not right; the doctor put him on medication for social phobia. The meds did not really do anything for him. He was not diagnosed for AS.
He got worse in college and could not concentrate. Then they told him he couldn’t continue unless he improves. So no friends, no job the plan what he pictured for him self failed, depression kicked in, and then he couldn’t take it any more.

I posted this already on an other site, but I’m reading about some of you not be able to find a job and I totally agree that's not easy at all.
My son was high functioning and all he wanted a dishwasher job so he can feel
appreciated, wanted, needed but he could not get trough the interwiev never mind getting the job.
I’m not going to tell you to get a job or move out, stay sometimes is not the best option but stay until something comes along and do what you like as a hobby.
Try to turn your hobby into something what actually can generate some income somehow.
I’m just shooting in the dark here, but as an NT that’s the way I started and now I have a little business.
I know you might say what do you know about AS and the problems we face? Not much really. I wish I had been more educated four month ago, then our son would be still here with us. All he wanted a job on his own.