What do you do when nothing is left?

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Sweet Pea hugs

I don't know that is not really the impression I get from the homeless population...I mean I know that sort of stuff can go on but there are also a lot of good people who help each other out, and aren't out to screw each other over. But yeah I might not have the option to avoid that though I would certainly be careful who I trust and keep my senses about me(I can't not do that anyways). I actually even spent the night with some homeless people once and none of them tried to take advantage of me or cause harm to me...we were all just rather disspaointed I hadn't brought my weed with me. I guess I just feel like if I met the right people I would be ok...and well hopefully my phone would not get stolen but if I went homeless my friends and close family members that I more relate to would not cut me out of their lives so they would still be there if I needed help.

I guess I just don't see what good living at my moms house at all does...I mean aside from when I can't hang out at my friends house since sometimes his family comes up and kind takes over it gives me a place to stay and I like the kittens there. Otherwise it mostly stresses me out. I am probably still considered a 'dependant' or whatever and if I understand right that means money I should get from tax returns(probably not this year as I never filed anything and didn't have a job and haven't been making income, just in college maybe I was supposed to...oh well I guess). gets sent to my mom and if she dosen't tell me it was sent to her she could easily just use it for her..but I admit I really don't understand how that works at all. Also I am worried about her trying to meddle with me getting psychological help...not nessisarily intentionally but she's the type that would pull the therapist or other mental health professional aside when I'm not looking to try and explain things to them from her perspective which worries me because she could say something that convinces them I'm totally delusional or something just by her attempt to 'help.'

Also I have this issue of having a hard time motivating myself...maybe its the autism or the depression I am not totally sure and I have pretty much no confidence so I try very hard not to let that stop me and not beat myself up over feeling like I'm not trying hard enough or whatever. But she likes to say things that kind of piss me off in relation to that....like when I first told her I wanted to go see what the local mental health center offers as far as help but I wanted to go alone one thing she said was 'well you never do these things yourself.' and then basically indicated that was why she wanted to come with to pressure me to follow through. And one of the things that makes it so damn hard to do things is getting too stressed out about them and she is very good at contributing to that stress always has been. I mean luckily I didn't go off on her on the phone but I was probably making some wierd movements and facial expressions trying not to. I wanted to say 'hey mom you're pushing me and I'm about ready to blow a fuse or something in my brain so I will have to talk to you later.' but I figured that might be too much.

Sounds absolutely perfect for you right now, I hope you can work that out.



It's not just the homeless you have to worry about. It's everybody else, too, perhaps even moreso. Also the police. Not to mention random aholes who get off on making homeless people feel like crap or even like to get their rocks off physically attacking them. Abusive people exploit the weak to satisfy emotional needs. It's sick and disgusting but that doesn't change the fact that you should try to avoid this. It won't be good for you.



My 2 cents, hang in there til you can move in with sniper dude. If you trust him. You're like fruit rotting on the vine, you need to be independant I think.



Maybe she means well, maybe she doesn't; maybe she's right, maybe she's wrong; but it's obviously not working, and that's what matters. Not everbody is suited to handle specific problems other people have, that's what it comes down to. I don't think there's any question at all that you need to get out from under that roof, but I do think you should be patient and try to come up with a better alternative, not just consign yourself to the street. Practically anything is a better solution.

Also until my friend gets a new place or unless I can move in with my cousin when I get on SSI(if I get on SSI) I am stuck with the current situation. Its a matter of if I can't take it I might stop living there period even if i dont have a better alternative yet, hopefully I can put up with it long enough to get on SSI just don't know if I can. Also there is the chance my mom could decide to kick me out...I didn't think she would kick my dad out but she did so what would stop her from kicking me out if she felt there was reason to.

Was there ever something that made you happy, that made life worthwhile?

Honestly not really....I mean a few things that help keep me going would be music, my close friends/family and I don't know maybe curiosity as to what will take place in life. I tried thinking it would get better....but then everything went to sh*t so better to cope with it not getting better.

I understand the feeling. Sometimes life gets a lot easier when the decisions and choices are taken out of your hands. When you've lost all your options, you learn to make do with whatever is immediately at hand.

It sounds like you are telling yourself that you need a crisis to prioritize your life. This could be the best thing for you. When you are in a miserable situation, but any alternative looks too frightening to consider, you are likely to stay in that situation. But when there is a crisis that forces you to make a decision, you sometimes find that, despite your fears, you always had it in you to survive and even do better than before.

But waiting for a crisis is rarely the best approach. Standing still because you are afraid of every step will get you nowhere and you will still be in the same miserable situation. It is better to face whatever fears you have and actively challenge them instead of trying to avoid them. It never works out the way you expect. Sometimes things get worse, but most of the time something gets better because you are actively making changes. Sometimes just having to solve a new set of problems than the ones you are used to in your daily life can be invigorating.

While I wouldn't recommend creating a crisis, you might find it useful to consider what it is you fear most and then take some serious steps to directly challenge that fear. What do you fear most? What steps can you take right now to start moving past those fears? Maybe breaking with everything you are familiar with and just getting on a bus and heading out across the country would be crisis enough to really focus your attention on how to survive on your own.

Another way to approach this problem is to consider what the worst case scenario might be and to start actively doing things to solve that problem even while no crisis has yet occurred. For example, I currently have a good job and I have a house I have to pay for. But my boss has been talking about retiring in 5 to 10 years. That's going to leave me without a job. So despite the fact that I currently do not have a crisis, I need to start taking steps to set up my next job. It may be 5 or 10 years away, but by attacking the problem now, while I'm safe, I solve it before it ever becomes a serious problem.

You currently have a place to live. Give yourself the task of solving the problem of needing to pay rent now while it isn't a problem. (It would help if you are a worrier by nature because this will push you to keep trying to solve the problem)

A real crisis could help you to resolve some of your problems, but if you can do it, I think you would be better off if you can live your life as if you had a crisis to solve, even while you are relatively safe.

Good luck

Hmm I see your point...that actually does make sense. And I've thought about this before...I mean instead of dwelling on what could have been or what I can't have back it could be helpful to think of what to do with it now. I mean yeah that crap that caused the PTSD as well as a generally negative childhood really did f*** me up it seems. But yeah I am not sure about paying rent I mean....I don't have much of a plan I am considering SSI but until I have some sort of diagnoses I shouldn't bother with that. but other then that I don't really know what else to try other then get in good with the homeless downtown I am sure some of them would recognize me for giving them change or a cigarette and might want to be helpful.