Are you capable of telling youself not to feel a certain way

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chairbreak
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16 Apr 2007, 9:21 pm

aylissa wrote:

Just wanted to clarify - I asked this because I keep hearing (mostly NT's) say things like:

It's all in your head
Just stop thinking about it
Don't let it bother you
Just let it go

Stuff like that. I can't. I have a brain that's like an old record, with one groove, and when the needle settles in the groove, it stays there till the album is over. There's no mechanism to get out of the thought. Just wondered if others are capable of this.

aylissa, it has ALWAYS driven me crazy when people say those things. I am exactly the same as you, I cannot let things go. It's impossible. The phrase "don't let it bother you" makes NO SENSE to me, as I never have the choice to let anything bother me or not. It just does.

SeriousGirl
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17 Apr 2007, 5:25 pm

I can change a thought, but not a feeling, which seems to have a life of its own. A feeling plays itself out over hours or sometimes days. I seldom get angry, just a general hurt feeling that has to wear off.

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AlexandertheSolitary
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19 Apr 2007, 3:35 am

cellogirl42 wrote:

I've managed to keep myself from developing feelings of a romantic nature towards anyone since 7th grade.

I envy you your wisdom obtained at such tender years. Had I discovered this secret that early, I could have spared myself so much trouble. Would you care to reveal it to the uninitiated?

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AlexandertheSolitary
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19 Apr 2007, 3:37 am

LadyCass wrote:

I can talk myself out of my emotions quite frequently, simply by questioning them. What is anger, really? How do I know I'm angry? Am I just trying to fool myself? ect. I'm not sure that I've ever really had feelings, and so I can usually convince myself that I'm just play acting again.

As for others' emotions towards me...no, I can't let those go. Those will bother me for months, if not years, until I simply forget about them (invariably they'll resurface eventually, but if the break is long enough, I can question those too).

If I want to put something out of my mind, I refuse to let myself concentrate on it. I'll do thought-consuming tasks (or, if it's not that bothersome, stupid but kind of fun tasks). I've found that most others can't/don't do this...but then again, I also dissassociate from reality, so that might be why.

This would be a useful skill at times.

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calandale
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19 Apr 2007, 3:50 am

Yeah, but I don't listen.

Danielismyname
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19 Apr 2007, 8:30 am

My psychic (psychiatrist) said that we're unable to "control" (when, why, how and whatever) our emotions, but we're able to confront said emotions and lessen their impact on us through...uh, CBT?

It helped me overcome many of my fears; which is emotion. The fear is still there, it's just lessened to a point where I can "function" rather than take "flight".

Just one anecdote to the fire....

Eclair
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19 Apr 2007, 8:37 am

Yes, I've just started on CBT and in my second session I can see that maybe it can work...ie; to get the record out of that one groove Aylissa.

The best thing about it is that it is actually logical so I can see that in the long run it may be an option.

willem
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19 Apr 2007, 9:54 am

Danielismyname wrote:

My psychic (psychiatrist) said that we're unable to "control" (when, why, how and whatever) our emotions, but we're able to confront said emotions and lessen their impact on us

I think your psychic is right. I can "hush" (or amplify) what I feel but not change it (except by changing what I'm thinking about altogether). I think this is because we attribute a feeling to what caused it and not to ourselves, e.g. when an event is upsetting then the "upsettingness" appears to us as a property of that event and not of us. NT's, on the other hand, seem to think that pretty much everything is a property of themselves, they can't think in contexts that don't revolve around people (self & others). There's probably a "golden path" somewhere in the middle between these two extremes.

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