I ain't going to express my feelings ever again

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Cornflake
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02 Jan 2022, 3:31 pm

 ! Cornflake wrote:
Several posts and quotes or responses to them have been removed.

A reminder to all - continuing to post after a thread's originator has rejected what was said is likely to cause further distress, which is completely against the purpose of The Haven.

Similarly, you may have the best of intentions for making posts but if they're rejected, it's not Ok to then complain that your intentions were good and you only meant to help.
Just accept that you didn't help and move on. Unless it's your own thread, it's not about you.

Note also that The Haven has its own special rule set: viewtopic.php?t=297515


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Joe90
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02 Jan 2022, 3:33 pm

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You are the one who just told us that the feedback you're getting from a number of people in your life is that you complain too much. If they're telling you this it's for a reason and you don't have as good of an understand of when it is or isn't appropriate to whine as you believe yourself to. It would serve you well to make an effort not to verbalize these things so much.


I have just TOLD you that the reason I come here so much is to get stuff off my chest, stuff I can't express openly offline because of knowing it will be coming off as whining.

People tell me to stop whining because they can, because I have a weaker personality, so they say that even when I'm not whining, just to overpower me.

My family say that I am a whole different world to what I used to be when I was a child and teenager; I hardly whine at all and I enjoy my surroundings. Three years ago I went on vacation with a couple of relatives who I hadn't seen for years, and they were pleasantly surprised at how much I had changed. I was positive and a joy to be around. And no, they weren't saying that to just be polite, I know my own family and they're always honest with me. My close relatives say the same. They say I have grown up a lot and that I'm more socially skilled. Then after a day of bottling most of my feelings up, I come on to WP and pour everything out.


Also tone of voice is a huge factor. When I was a kid I'd constantly whine in a high-pitched tone, but as an adult I have learnt that you can sometimes get away with whining if you use a more positive tone of voice at the same time, like stating something as matter of fact or smiling and using a jokey tone of voice. That's what I see NTs doing all the time and is a good social skill to learn if you do want to express yourself but without coming across as annoying.

I have ADHD, anxiety and depression, so it's mighty hard not to whine, but the only masking I do is to not whine as much.

And read this CAREFULLY: I. Get. Frustrated. Because. I. Mask. My. True. Negative. Feelings. More. Than. Some. People. Do. But. When. I. Do. Open. My. Mouth. I. Get. Told. To. SM.

That should be explained very clearly now.


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Cornflake
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02 Jan 2022, 4:24 pm

Thread locked by request of the OP.


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