No-Contact Gaslighters

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They have been blocked on everything for years. My daughter even disconnected her voicemail a few years ago because they used to spam call her when she'd asked them not to, and they even started calling her best friend / best friend's mother. The only reason she reconnected her voicemail was because it's required for her job. She's also had a call-block feature on her phone for several years so that only specific numbers are allowed to call her. Everyone else gets a recorded message that they're blocked. We aren't sure how they managed to get through to her voicemail so that's something else to look into. MD has pseudonymous accounts for Insta and FB with blocks in place but they're infiltrating that too, somehow.

We've inquired to police before and they said we'd have to provide evidence that they physically hurt her, or else we'd have to go through court with more legal fees for restraining orders. Her dad used to show up at her work crying and tell her boss sob stories about her while she hid in the back. Then she got such bad PTSD she was afraid to leave the house in case she saw him or his car. Now she's changing her name legally and moving out of the country to avoid him.

The grandmother body-shamed her since childhood and caused her to develop lifelong eating disorders, in addition to being a narcissist and scapegoating / gaslighting her for all the family's problems. It's a shite show.

Both kids miss and mourn the past when they were really young and couldn't see through the BS, but their better minds won't tolerate this crap anymore. Grandma could have sent birthday cards but never did. Never called them, never helped them, denied all their own medical concerns, and insulted them to strangers. The only time she ever offered to babysit was one time for my son when he was four months old. She said she'd never do it again because he was "a going concern". I asked, Did he cry? Did he fuss? Did you need to change him? Nope. He slept the whole time, but he was a going concern so we should NEVER ask her to babysit again. I'm glad I didn't.

The funny thing with all of this is that they could contact me in case of emergency, and they know it. They're more than welcome to email, text, or phone me especially at a time like this. They know where we live, and even though my daughter would FTFO if they showed up at the door, it would be an option for her dad (alone) to come and ask to speak with me, or for any of them to put something in the post. None of that has ever happened which I guess is good in some respects, but they can't complain that they've been denied all options at a time of so-called "crisis".

They sound like a bunch of complete nutjobs, as we say in England

https://youtu.be/SyLzds6yIOI


Here's a video that really helped us when her dad sued her in court, saying she and her doctors were all lying about her ASD and assorted permanent physical disabilities. It's not relevant now because she doesn't speak to him at all, but maybe this could help others who have to deal with narcissists. (He is diagnosed NPD, btw.)

This is insane and horrible. I wish they could get a restraining order.

Yes my mum fits the narcissist profile. Some years ago I was amazed when someone directed me to a website with a description of a narcissistic mother, it was like reading about her. Nearly every box ticked. I've always been scared of her because she is so unpredictable, angry, spiteful, unreliable, cruel. I could cope as myself but when she started on my daughter! No way, José.

I actually like her better now she's got dementia because she is nicer to me! But I don't fall for her 'I love you' tales now because it's all fake, she is worried she has no one else now, so she is clinging to me.

Anyway! Sorry for going off on that tangent.

Not leaving yourself vulnerable to abusive people is called self-care.

Protecting your sanity and holding healthy boundaries is what I and many others would say is a way of modelling a wholesome way of life.

None of us ask for or choose abusive family. They are an affliction.

https://youtu.be/kPIdRJlzERo




Rest in Peace, FHILNC


She wanted this played at her funeral.

Seems appropriate.

I sang the same thing when my nana died…

I might not go that far but I will certainly be relieved that the critical, angry, spiteful voice of my mum isn't there anymore.

I forgot to conclude this thread.

Yes she died. She killed herself by assisted suicide.

Here's how the family decided to inform my kids:

A rando chick who is not a family member put a message on my daughter's friend's Instagram.
The rando did not know my daughter's friend.

The message said, "Please tell (Issy's son and daughter) that their grandmother died by assisted suicide today."

The friend screenshotted that message and texted it to my daughter.
The friend didn't even comment.

I can't imagine getting a screenshot from Instagram to tell me about a family suicide or death.

Still no word from the ACTUAL FAMILY to any of us, explaining what was really going on.

No contact and no goodbyes from the grandmother herself, despite the fact assisted suicide needs to be planned and approved at least 90 days in advance and she was active on Facebook in that time frame.

Unbelievable.

That is insane behaviour by that family. I wonder what the rando chick and the daughter's friend were thinking, too. If I got a message like that from a rando chick on Instagram I'd think it was a troll or spam. But anyway.

Sending a message about a family death on Instagram of all places seems very poor as a social manoeuvre.

They sound awful.
No one needs toxic people like that in their life.Life is already hard enough .

Circumstances like this might call for embellishing the truth seeing the truth isn't enough to get them off your back despite being a perfectly reasonable excuse for your families actions.

Dead people can't defend themselves so you can use your imagination with impunity.