scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-1
I felt decent enough today, even went out with dad to the grocery store. I indulged myself in a bit of fudge since it was my birthday yesterday (I don't like cake) and it was very yummy. I started reading my current book (American Gods) and loved it so much I'll probably read more before going to bed.

The downside is that despite feeling mostly better I'm having a very bad bout of coughing and its starting to hurt. I brought a bag of cough drops and have used up most of them, I don't know why I'm still coughing so much. Also not looking forward to tomorrow because it'll be another lonely art night and I haven't been practicing painting due to the flu so my technique is really falling behind and everytime I have to contend with my mother she is super bitchy to me.

On the bright-side, my dad said when they said when they got money (on the 25th) they'd give me some for a belated birthday gift. That will be nice.

+0.96

-1, f**k less things. Already I should be getting dressed, music is better at making me feel happier than parties. Don't want. Must go to be a good friend. Curses.

-6

Feeling fairly positive today, I'm early for work and people are friendly - some attractive ladies even smiled and said hello a few times!

Free pizza is on the way too! I'd call this a +5 or 6 day so far... hope my workload doesn't drag that down...

-2.5

Debating whether or not to go to painting last night, out of practice and I think I need new brushes. Slept in late, Mom is ..semi-up and about but really unpleasant. I feel really crappy and am having a hard time pulling myself up with optimism like before. I feel stuck in a mire, I guess when everyone is sick and miserable around me I feel more sh***y. Haven't coughed much at all yet.

+3 Work went fair.

-10

Feel like my mom always favored other kids over me, and favors her bfs children over me, and my little brother, tonight's a good night to drink.

-4.5

Didn't go to art class last night. Can't sleep, coughing up blood now.

3/10{not using the negative scale}.

-5, just got up...I went to bed early last night because I tried cleaning a nasty scrape I got on my hand with peroxide and it hurt so much I litterally blacked out and then I was nauseous so I went to bed. uhh who the hell blacks out from cleaning a scrape? I am just glad I was in my room so no one saw otherwise my mom would have freaked out and called an ambulance or something.

+2
My life is going nowhere, but at least in the short term I'm doing well in my classes. Fixing my failed grade from winter intercession, GPA should be a 3.5 or so after this semester.

+5

Feeling better lately

-4. Sad about being lonely all the time again... par on course though at least. Accepting I'm going to die alone and embracing everything else I have that makes me happy in life is a good pick-me-up though. Taking substances that impair me help even more despite some guilt.

-10 temporally Ill be back up to +4 in a hour. Sad thought just hit hard and will pass soon.