scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-2, so not bad for me

-6 My current love passed monday morning 49 is to young to go. I dont know why I'm not alowed to love some one in this world.

+9. Now that my sister's wedding is over, and I'm heading back home, I am ready to face life again with a new face (that is, if my parents don't get too prissy and misunderstanding about me).

+2. Decent day overall, but I think it seems pretty certain that I need social contact to be happy. Yes I can be alone a lot without feeling lonely, but I realized that when I'm sometimes feeling down, I feel better after talking to someone I like.
That's cool I guess. Too bad I lack the skills needed by a lot.

-5: Everything in the distance looks so faded, and everything within proximity feels so hollow.

-8 funerals tomarow dont like going back there so soon.

-4. It's ok because beer will fix that!

+8....... I feel pretty good today.

-1. *Gasp* Job ad in the paper. Must have 5+ years experience, preferably pursuing tertiary qualifications. At the firm accountant guy works at. Did he leave? Because it sounds an awful lot like his job. Time to email him and get the goss.

In other news opportunity is now knocking for myself . I just dunno if I can do the hard part of deeply disappointing my current employers first. It will be very difficult asking them for references because that will be like me saying I want to break up with them, plus they'd feel I'm abandoning them when they need me, plus all the things they say they gave me and they'd accuse me of not appreciating it all, plus I'd have to deal with the smugness of certain people who'd be happy to see me go.

What have I always said about my work, it's like being stuck in a bad marriage you can't leave? Well, it is. It's exactly like that. Why does the only way out have to be through a neck deep pool of s**t? Why can't I just win lotto and simply not turn up the next day? I wouldn't have to worry about leaving on amicable terms then.

6

Getting there. If that makes any sense.

-2. Anxious. I don't know the best way to ask for referees. Dreading the response when they realise I want to leave. And one of the partners I need to ask isn't back till monday and I dunno when applications close for this job. I can ask him via email but I know he'll just reply with "we'll talk about it on monday". And I wanna ask the boss guy in the other office too but I predict his response will be very visceral. I've been imagining the showdown with him for months.

+5. I'm happy and satisfied.

-4 life still off balance.

+5, same as before.

2.