I hate seeing happy people.

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Hah, wow. That's too insightful for an autistic, lol, j/k. Or maybe just for WP, hah.

It is an interesting theory. I suppose there can be a "if I can't be happy, then no one should be happy," element. Though it seems to suggest that the depressed autistic has two disadvantages: first he will have difficulty sensing the empathy of others, and reciprocating that when "happy".

But is it merely about happiness? How does happiness lead to a desire to help others? THis theory seems to rely upon utalitarianistic ethical models, and are easily refuted by a happy greedy or murderous individual.

A better theory would likely rely upon the selection bias of this site. It is unlikely that aspies will come here to discuss their "chronic happiness", lol. The site has a large population of aspies with issues, along with a population of NT's and potential aspies with issues. Then there are those who claim to be happy and successful and are here to help others out. I think they are a bunch of big fat liars here to gloat for their own ego boosting.

Then again, my explanation merely describes what you are seeing here. It does not explain the individual reasons why some of us agreed that we hate seeing happy people. To understand our reasons more properly, an individual analysis of each person may be necessary.

That is why, in high school, I used to destroy people's days.

If they were happy, I did all in my power to make them unhappy. All over the fact that they were intolerable bigots. Therefore, I was intolerant of their happiness as they were intolerant of my Asperger's. I felt really happy doing that, and to this day, I still rejoice and cheer over their misery. Call me mean-spirited, but it's what they deserved.

My tentative definition of pain is: something that creates a feeling of necessity that accompanies a desire to avoid a circumstance. While you're in pain, you're actually feeling the pain, but while you're not in pain, you have that feeling of necessity. This is why we are so careful not to stub our toes or slam our fingers in doors: it's a feeling of necessity that accompanies our desire to avoid those calamities. We won't even allow a 10% chance of their happening.

This necessity can come in degrees. You would sooner avoid a car crash than a paper cut or a toe stub. And -- I find this a bit frightening, but -- I imagine that this feeling of necessity can exist in other people who see that you're in pain. It would seem to me, then, that one function of lifelong sadness would be to encourage others to avoid your fate.

For a while, yes, I did feel resentful of happy people who didn't seem to notice or care about my suffering. I think that part of this was my worry that my suffering was incurable (and part of it was these stupid Happy Bunny T-shirts people wear). But if they're still feeling it necessary to help you, then -- now that I think about it -- I can see how happiness might coexist with sadness without being tarnished by sadism.

The question remains whether happiness is even worth sadness in the first place. If I'm so miserable that I'm writing angry poems about God, then how would I know that any past or future happiness would be worth my present suffering? Shouldn't I at least have a feeling of, "Ah, this is worth it," or, "None of this will be in vain"? If some people's anguish causes them to hate the entire world, how do we justify that?

Further, how could we be content in a world in which sadness would always exist? That feeling of necessity in helping them would conflict with the permanence of that sadness. What would you do, then? Ignore them? Tell them, "I know how you feel, man," and go back to your merry, joyful life? That doesn't seem right.

I truly wish of the world that any law of nature predicting that someone would always be sad would culminate in an 'explosion' that allowed them to be happy. That's how deeply I care about the less fortunate.

I believe that natural selection came about in such a way that the individuals with the best genes (and often not the best personalities) are the ones who have the most happiness in life. Aspies, who by nature's definition, wouldn't have good genes, don't get a lot of happiness. The reason behind that is that happiness will give the people with good genes the will to survive and reproduce. At the same time, nature isn't as concerned with making sure that people with bad genes survive, so it didn't give them a lot of happiness. It made them the evolutionary equivalent of the Army Reserve, to keep around "just in case".

But we are HUMAN. We have the intellect and the means to FIGHT NATURE. How? Darwin's natural selection made sure that unattractive men never get any sexual contact with women. Humans fought against it, and now prostitution is the world's oldest profession. Natural selection made the weak constant victims of the strong. Humans fought back, and invented weapons, as well as a police force to protect the weak. (I'm talking about its original intent.) Nature made humans fear darkness because of the dangers that hide in it. They responded by inventing oil lamps, gas lights, and then electric lights. Nature deprived people with bad genes of constant happiness; drugs were invented to get back that happiness. (They're illegal in most parts of the world, but still.)

So now that you've read this, decide for yourself how to fight back against nature. Think of what manmade things can bring you happiness. There's music, video games, sports, books, special interest groups, etc. If natural happiness is too elusive, there's nothing wrong with artificial happiness. After all, being happy is being happy. If nothing works, then you might have depression (another curse of nature). In that case, go to a shrink that pushes pills and doesn't waste your time with long conversations, and get a prescription for antidepressants (our way of fighting back). In the end, remember: you're the only species that can fight nature, so don't let that power go to waste!

Yeah, I was using cocaine once a week because of how unfair I thought natural selection was. But now I believe that what Aspie1 is saying is a bit of an oversimplification.

A few points:

1. People diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome don't have 'worse genes.' As calculating prodigies quite clearly show, there are advantages to having autistic traits.

2. Natural selection as a theory does not entail the survival of the strong (people) and the extinction of the weak (people). That's something ball games just teach you to believe. Sure, the 90% strongest men in the country can band together like idiots and crush the weaklings, but the 90% weakest men can crush the strongest, too. It's all about psychology, and whether you're foolish enough to waste time crushing a smaller group.

3. Perceived attractiveness involves more than just scales of fitness, like how tall or muscular you are. Different people can have different preferences.

Aspia1:

Pardon me for interjecting a little. I disagree on a few things here.

First, I don’t think having “unfit” genes is the cause of unhappiness. Not that depression isn’t genetic, as I believe that to a certain extent it is. However, there are actually some advantages to mild depression. Just like physical pain, it is an aid to self preservation. Happiness alone doesn’t guarantee survival fitness. Over-optimism can lead to unnecessary risk-taking and foolishness, which are big disadvantages in pure survivalist terms. There are also scientific studies that show that the happiest people do not have the most accurate perception of reality. The studies showed that it was the sub-clinically depressed group that had the most accurate perception of reality, while the happy optimists and the clinically depressed groups had positively and negatively skewed views, respectively. It’s really only in modern times that happiness has become advantageous because there are less physical hazards to our survival now than in the past.

I’ve concluded that the often crippling unhappiness that so many people, including myself, experience so often is just the unfortunate conspiracy of a multitude of factors coming together. For instance if you have a genetic predisposition to mild depression, then having an additional condition such as Aspergers is inevitably going to tip the balance into full-blown depression.

There’s also a correlation between depression and intelligence/creativity. Not many of the great artists, writers, and thinkers were happy butterflies. In fact some of them seemed to be always within a hairs breadth of becoming incapacitated by their unhappiness.

The easygoing, socially content, happy people I see in life seem to have advantage of being hard workers and are naturally able to sail through life without too much difficulty even under modest hardship. But then I see that these people are often intellectually lazy. Because they are content and fulfilled by the little things in life they never really care to step out of their small circle of existence or think outside the box. When I’m depressed I often envy these people, but at the same time I can’t imagine giving up my own sense of self just to be happy. I’m often pushed to the brink where I think it would be nice to just completely shut off my all my negative emotions, but I still don’t think I would ever do it even if I could. In the end I’m forced to accept what I am.

when they told me 'better safe than sorry' I thought they were giving me an actual choice. . that I could play it safe, or I could go for it and be 'sorry' later.

I thought that paying the consequences for not being 'safe' was worth the risk.

Merle

Sometimes. When I feel sad, I hate to see happy people. I wish I could let go of myself and just have a slice of their happiness. And it annoys me sometimes. I just want them to be unhappy too so that we could be on the same level; because I hate being sad, yet I feel that way a lot of the time.

i can not really understand what "happiness" is.
i am content and do not wish for anything to be different, but i do not smile and act like a happy person.

i do not like how most happy people see people who are not smiling as "downers"

"if you don't show your teeth
then they'll throw you a wreath"

I am one of those 'happy' style of autistic, my immaturity in my emotions keeps me a happy little girl, and usually just as naive. I will be boppin' along humming or singing to myself and some person will shove their face into mine, and show their dislike for my attitude. Usually my Chronic - PTSD will flash up and I will scream into their faces with true terror and instant need to dominate those that are projecting domination on me. It isn't pretty.

Reading over your comments and answers lead me to realize that maybe you don't have any more control over your reaction to happy people than I have over being happy.

sorry to have ticked you off.

Merle

I like seeing that type of happiness in people. I like seeing children with excitement in their eyes. Makes me feel nostalgic. What sometimes irritates me is the kind of fake plastic happiness that I only see in adults.

I also realize that if someone "appears" happy.. it doesn't necessarily mean that they are. Perhaps they are trying hard to cover up something that could be going terribly wrong in their lives.

There is someone on these boards that can't stand me being so successful and happy. He gets "depressed" and "annoyed" when I post in the rate your mood from -10 to +10 thread. He always shoots me down and is mean to me. I hate people like that. Those people have issues then or are mentally ill. Or just plain stupid. Just because I am successful (just remember I was depressed earlier this year- suicidal as well) doesn't mean that others have to hate me for it. There must be something wrong with their minds if they can't stand happy people. Its a jealousy thing. Just because you are depressed doesn't mean you have the right to hate happy people. When I was depressed, I didn't hate happy people, I was happy for them. Especially if their story is inspirational like mine. That would give me hope if I was depressed. This guy, which it would be rude to mention his name, thinks I am bragging about my success. I don't mind when other people "brag" about their success, in fact I am interested in other people's success and more so if they have a disability. I know right from wrong and this person who deliberately shoots me down is WRONG. Since he is rude to me, I hope bad things happen to anyone who treats others like this. People who hate others just because they are happy and successful, they discriminate against people and discrimination is WRONG once again. Would you shoot someone down just because of the color of their skin? Would you shoot them down because of their religion? This is the same thing. Seeing happy people should make you happy for them, that is all.

So do I. At least THEY can live without being depressed all the time, or being the only one to know the truth about everything...

I've been the same way this year for the same reasons. I don't go through episodes of crying, I get really pissed off and throw fits. I'm back to normal once I let go whatever it is that's pissed me off. I can be impulsive as well, what happened 10 months ago with ebay has proven that. However, I think some of it may be because I'm soft bipiolar. Never been diagnosed, but I have experienced some of the symptoms consistent with soft bipolar.