scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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8. My brother got me honey with bee propolis (tastes better than normal honey) and also honey with black caraway seeds (which were considered a cure-all by the Prophet). I'm eating that with some walnuts. Also gave it to kids with warm water.

7. Due to the lockdown and stringent restrictions, my weekly shop has been made alot easier.

Less crowds, so I'm not overwhelmed, with enough processing time (and now enough in stock!) to purchase what I need in no time at all.

Social distancing, also an advantage to help me compose myself in the queue at the till.

A ghost town, yes, but it's a far cry from what I've been enduring and experiencing as of late.

-5 Still feeling icky today (same symptoms as yesterday, a bit better this morning but getting progressively worse throughout the day - which is typical for me with most illnesses). Whatever this is, I wish I could just sleep it off, but no matter how exhausted I am, I just cannot fall asleep during the day (and require medication to even get any sleep at night).

Also troubling me is that I have a sore tooth. This is the first time I've ever had tooth pain that didn't go away fairly quickly. I have never had to get any sort of dental work done except for braces (not that you can tell now, because I didn't wear my retainer ) and repair of a broken tooth. Every time I go in to the dentist for a checkup and cleaning, I'm so afraid they'll find something wrong that I'm shaking the entire time. I don't know how I'm going to make it through if this tooth needs any work done. Debating about whether I should just try brushing more frequently (I don't because of sensory issues and stuff) or if I should have my mom schedule an appointment for me to be sure it doesn't turn into a huge infected mess.

Maybe I should describe what exactly is going on with Problem Tooth. It's a bottom incisor, and it sits significantly ahead of the teeth next to it (it started growing in before I'd lost the baby tooth in its place). The gum it sits in is pushed way far down in front, but not in back. I mentioned it to my dentist, who said that the low gum line was probably due to its position, but I still worry about one day losing that tooth because there's so little gum in the front. Well, starting yesterday, the bottom of that tooth started hurting whenever I'd touch it with anything other than my tongue, but wasn't bothering me when I'd bite with it (granted I didn't have anything particularly crunchy or chewy), but it also hurts a little bit at random times (or, again, when I touch it). Not sure if it might just be caused by the gum it sits in being inflamed or infected (I usually have mild gingivitis because of my infrequent brushing), in which case brushing more frequently might address the issue, or if it's the tooth itself that's the problem. Ordinarily, if it was still bothering me tomorrow I'd get an appointment for my dentist to have a look, but right now, I'm kind of doubting it's urgent enough.

8. I was feeling down but posting about what made me happy reminded me of various things and now I feel grateful and joyful and calmer. Also I love having this forum to say whatever and it helps in processing things.

Wonder what happens if, for 24 hours...
No electronics, no listening, no talking, no food, no serious nor any tiring activity...
Just water, sun's light, paper and pencil, and whatever space is available to go to...

No job anytime soon, no any plans in mind, no real aims... Why not fighting the whim of boredom with this??
Yeah, it's like resisting hunger by starving. But what's 24 hours compared to what I've already consumed for nearly straight 2 weeks now?

I'm gonna try this at home tomorrow.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

6

Minus something at the moment. Uhmm.

5

0 - I am preparing for the Kolinahr.

5 maybe? Didn't sleep well... fortunately I've done all my work for today and finished the weekly clean up. All that's left is doing the dishes and then I can do what I want for the rest of the day.

0. Good and bad about balancing out. I'm really tired today, but I got out and took my dog for a walk to the end of the street before it started raining. Also managed a video call with my psychiatrist. We're going to look at getting me in to see a neuropsychologist once I'm completely off the lithium and all this COVID-19 stuff is done, for my memory issues. My head feels very... ugh. It doesn't quite hurt, it doesn't quite feel stuffy, it just feels... very uncomfortable, I guess. It occurred to me that all my issues may be caused by a brain tumor, and I made the mistake of asking Doctor Google what the symptoms were, hoping my symptoms wouldn't match up too much, but of course instead, it told me that symptoms I thought were completely unrelated actually could be symptoms of a brain tumor. Rather hoping I do have an operable brain tumor, so once it's out I at least won't continue getting worse. And I'd ask if I could keep it afterward, I'd keep it in a jar and name it Brian. But I know that actually, I probably don't, it's probably just my body crying "serious disease" only to have it turn out to be absolutely nothing again So I probably will be stuck just watching my brain slowly degrade more and more until I get to the point where I just can't live like that anymore. But thinking about having fun with Brian is cheering me up a bit, even if he probably doesn't exist.

-10 this will be first Easter without my grandma, she always bought me a chocolate bunny, this year I had to buy one