Rejection isn't so bad

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The guy has to do some work, too.

I believe you want to be treated as a lady, hurtloam (but not as an inferior person!).

But, have heart: I don't believe chivalry is dead yet!

I apologize for coming off gruff but it is the truth. Every person has their own criteria when it comes to finding a mate. If you don't meet at least some of that basic criteria then you're not the one for them, period. Yes it sucks, it hurts to be rejected but at the end of the day you want to find someone who is willing to give you a chance and to give them a chance too. Relationships are about compromise and at the end of the day no one gets everything they desire in a mate. You find enough to live with and be enough for them to live with.

I was trying to make a point/debunk the myth that women can just choose any one they want.

When you find the next guy (yet I do hope that the present guy does come around), I hope everything proceeds naturally.

I hope there aren't too many arguments just for argument's sake--I hope the debate you folks have is amiable, and leads to an increase in knowledge for the both of you.

I feel you like things to proceed smoothly and naturally, and that you desire amity, rather than discord.

I hope you find a man who feels the same, and with whom you are physically attracted.

She can't wait for him forever.

Anyway it's not a rocket science to know whether someone is into you or not

If you put yourself in their shoes, you would easily recognize the answer, it's all about reciprocity, and it has nothing to do with shyness really.

Let's say the girl you like came to you and gave you her facebook or number, what would you do? You would surely message her! Because she initiated something by giving you her contact, so you would naturally reciprocate by messaging her; even if you are shy.

If she invited you to a place, what would you do? Of course you are gonna cease the opportunity and go. Why? Because you happen to like this girl too; even if you are shy.

The guy in question was invited by hurtloam, he didn't go, he didn't message her....nothing, no reciprocity from his part and that's a sure sign that he's not interested.

It's hard to believe that he's that shy to this extent.

Yes, listen to this shy guys. If you don't accept invitations or make an effort to communicate she's going to move on. I don't care if you're nervous and reciprocating by sending a message back or actually going up to her and talking to her makes you feel anxious. She isn't going to know that you have massive buterflies in your tummy holding you back and she will assume that you are not interested based on the fact that when a guy is interested he will respond and want to talk and want to be with the girl.

I don't care if your friends are making you anxious by winding you up because you have a crush on a girl. You have to ignore them and do what you want to do. You have to push through it or she's going to feel hurt and assume that you don't like her because when a guy likes a girl he bothers to spend time with her.

How do you know if girl likes you as a shy guy?
I've tried talking to the girl at work, but she's usually in rush to get back to work or leave.

If a guy is shy to the point that they cannot reciprocate interest even with you initiating, being direct, and reassuring with your interest then there isn't any more that can done on your end. It is possible this person simply is not interested in being in a relationship or maybe he has an avoidant personality which would be sad if he actually was interest but if you can't show anything or make any effort or at least communicate feelings then I don't know what to say. I feel like I definitely have a avoidant personality, I think a lot of people on the spectrum do but I think most guys would be do a back flip if a girl showed interest in them like that.

It's the same. If a guy I liked talked to me at work I would talk to him. If I was rushing to get back to my post one day I'd try and talk to him another day. I'm sorry, but I don't get a good feeling about this girl. Not sure if you can give her the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Have you tried talking to her at the start of her break? If she makes an excuse when she has time to talk that would be a bad sign for sure.

Here's a thought. What if the guy has bad friends who undermine his self confidence. What if they guy shows his friends the message you sent and they say something that makes him more nervous. I don't know what, but I know that other people saw it. What if you wanted reassurance that she was asking you out and your friends were like, "she's already asked 4 other people to that and they all said no, you're a last resort". It doesn't mean she likes you. You've never had a text from her before, you've never sent her a non group message text before and you chicken out of replying.

If a girl I found attractive asked me to something I'd agree to go then start anxiety panicing til the event

Yeah I'm not sure either. She's usually nice to me and uses a more high pitch voice with me but that could be either good or bad. She waved up to me once from across the store when I was looking out from the balcony (my area is hidden away up stairs)
People go by my area to go to the employee only area. Sometimes I see her go in so I'll try to hang around the enterence to my area wher I could catch her on her way out.

Make matters worse I too shy to talk to her around others.

Few weeks ago when I passed by her in the break room I said her hair looked really good today and she said thanks. I haven't seen her since until the baseball game.

I would say those people are not really his friends, I don't know why'd they'd have such a prejudice against you. Perhaps there was a prior bad experience they are trying to protect him from happening again or don't think he can handle it for some reason, being anti-committed long term relationship is one thing when you're a social butterfly with other options but being anti any type of relationship with the opposite sex seems like a rather extremist view. If he wants a relationship then I don't understand why his friends wouldn't support him, I don't know why he'd value their advice above his own wants and feelings.

My ex friends(!i don't really have any friends now) always told me I'd never have a girlfriend and couldn't be loved.
Hearing that from people your close to has a damaging effect especially if you also hear it from many women.

I don't think it's a prejudice. It's more of a joke. It's supposed to be funny. It's stupid. I've had this happen before with a different group of "friends". It's hard to explain if you don't know me.

Baseball game??