I'm not doing so good.

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Okay, I was in a bad mood last night because I wanted to go to bed but he spat up all over it and now was crying for more food... kept eating and then spitting it up and crying for more... it's not his fault, it's mine for not knowing how to be happy... I don't mind the sh***y diapers but the spitup is an annoyance and I'm afraid that I'll get annoyed or impatient with Finnegan. Finn doesn't deserve to have someone annoyed or impatient with him. I didn't act annoyed or impatient or give him my bad mood (I was mad when Jack's mother said that we needed to know that he picks up on our moods... my mood is fine when I'm with him) but I don't ever want it to happen. There's a first time for everything.

Babies CAN pick up on your mood.
It's always good to be calm or happy when you are around your baby. let him see you smile!

Seriously, just do your best, and if you don't know what to do, just pick him up and carry him around. Use a soft voice and sing or humm to him. It'll calm him down!

ALSO
it might help to POST SOME PICTURES of him up here!! !!

Try not to let others' opinions dictate too much of how you feel. I know this is hard for some of us with AS as external cues are what we sometimes use to indicate our self-worth, but I know you've got a maternal instinct. Just don't run away from the maternal instinct when you find it.

Here's a couple of articles on the "spitting-up" issue:

http://www.drpaul.com/newborn/regurgitation.html

http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/art ... cfm?id=203

Information may be empowering.

To be honest, everyone struggles with their first baby. My mum tells me regularly that I was such a difficult baby, and she had no idea how to deal with me.

You have to take the rough with the smooth, and even embrace the bad times. Because you can't wait for those good times.

Enjoy your son; don't be afraid that you'll get annoyed with him, because you will get annoyed, so why worry? Everyone gets annoyed at ppl, children or not. Later on in life he'll annoy you time and time again. But that's just life. Feel good that you get annoyed, because that obviously means you care for him.

Getting annoyed with him means I care for myself, not for him. I sometimes wonder if I really care for him at times because I seem to care more about getting to bed and getting some sleep than about how he's crying and obviously needs something, or how I care more about the cleanliness of the bed than about my son.

Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you on WP. I wasn’t sure what this topic was about until today. I feel so out of the loop.

Sorry things are rough right now. I can’t imagine but I hope things get easier.

Being annoyed or feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you don’t care. I know I annoyed my mom plenty when I was your kid’s age (she tells me I was so sensitive to sounds that I cried pretty much non-stop).

Anyways, congratulations on becoming a mother!

Now I want to leave again. Last night I didn't hold him as upright as Jack said I should while feeding him (and I doubt that it's better to hold him upright anyway, so I don't feel too guilty about that) and I flopped down on the bed while holding him and Jack got mad at me for "shaking him"... it was probably jsut fun stimulation for him though. He didn't cry when I did that. I also didn't feed him fast enough to make him happy before he started crying, and that one is my fault. I want to go back to Canada and lave them alone here.

Wanting escape is one thing... but I would think long and hard about the consequences of doing so before doing anything. Life is full of critics; you can let them tear you down or take what is useful from them and discard the rest. Some people will complain simply because you do things differently than they did, others will have legitimate concerns. You're going to learn how to do things along the way, and there are going to be times that no matter what you do that Finn will cry and fuss. I have to ask, have you sought feedback as to whether you are experiencing post-partum depression? Hope today is better for you both - take care.


M.

Are you going to parenting classes? If you're not, I advise you do. And Jack. Then you can be shown EXACTLY how to do things, and it helps you adapt to your own way of doing it if you already have a foundation of knowledge. You're both on the spectrum; I'm sure there's some help available to you in this way. Ask your doctor.

You wanting sleep is not you being selfish. It's just natural. Is Jack not getting up in the middle of the night to see why he's crying? Are you not taking it in turns?

And being annoyed at him DOES mean you care. If you didn't care, you wouldn't get annoyed; you would just let it slide over your head and leave him. Stop being so hard on yourself. You're full of hormones, lacking in sleep, and a brand new mum. We all slip up occasionally.

Personal question, you don't have to answer but: Did you and Jack plan for this baby?

Jack gets up too (and apologized to me today for being cranky or something last night from lack of sleep).


We sort of wanted a kid, so we didn't care about preventing it from happening.

We do want more kids. We want a house full of autistics.

What exactly are you doing in terms of a "schedule" for feeding? Generally speaking, in early days, a baby gets hungry, it tells you its hungry, you feed it. That's about the be all and end all. Trying to get the child into a regular routine like a toddler is just a waste of energy. Also
"not feeding him fast enough to make him happy" .. I'm a little unclear on what you actually mean here. What are you actually doing? It may just be the way you write them and describe them, but some of the things you mention sound like bad practice for child-rearing. Are you really so sure that he has been force fed, or is this just wind causing him to bring up milk before he has had chance to digest?

And seriously.. if one child is causing you this much trouble, you need to reconsider the idea of having a house full of Autists. Unless or until you have got the technicalities of parenting dead on, having more children should be the furthest thing from your mind, as all you will be doing is creating a greater stress for yourself, and reducing the quality of life of both this child and any subsequent children.