How do I deal with an annoying sibling?
Really... he's 18 so he SHOULD know better...
but ever since he moved into this already-cramped apartment with my dad and I, he's been giving me this 'you can't be autistic unless you're diagnosed' bull and it's really causing me lots of stress and discomfort
How do I get him to shut up, short of going through the trouble of getting a DX? Because I can't think of anything...
CleverKitten
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Joined: 6 Apr 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
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Location: Norfolk, Virginia, USA
Do you talk about it to him?
Of you are bringing up the subject at all, cease mentioning anything about Autism in your brother's presence.
If he keeps bringing it up, just ignore him. He just wants attention.
_________________
"Life is demanding without understanding."
- Ace of Base
Check out my blog: http://glanceoutthewindow.blogspot.com/
He's the one that always brings it up.
Ignoring is easier said than done. More I do it, the more obnoxious he gets...
CleverKitten
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Joined: 6 Apr 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 874
Location: Norfolk, Virginia, USA
Are you able to change the subject? Or perhaps shut him out of the room and listen to music?
I had a brother who behaved way similar to the way you described. Whenever he would start annoying me, I would pretend to fall asleep and stay asleep. After five minutes at the most, he would finally leave, and I could tell he was quite disappointed in the lack of an adequate reaction from me. Incidents of this annoying behavior sharply decreased after consistent use of this method.
But... that might be a bit unrealistic in some circumstances. But it seems that most attention-seekers can be deterred as long as you do not show a reaction (other than absolute boredom) to their actions/words. I suggest that you keep an mp3 player and headphones with you at all times, for a way to focus your attention to something other than him. And a book too.
Easier said than done is very true. But it's not impossible, right?
He will definitely get more obnoxious when you first ignore him. After all, his obnoxiousness worked before, right? If it's not working, he will, at first, try harder to make sure that he gets an adequate reaction from you.
Dogs and small children do the same thing. If a child threw a tantrum his whole life to get what he wanted, and then suddenly, he isn't getting what he wants, then he will tantrum even harder.
But then after a while when he sees that his tantruming still not working, he will stop.
If a dog has whined and begged his whole life to get scraps from the table, and then suddenly, he is no longer getting scraps, then he will whine and beg even more to try to convince his owners to give him scraps. But if the the owners continue to consistently ignore the dog, the dog will eventually give up.
_________________
"Life is demanding without understanding."
- Ace of Base
Check out my blog: http://glanceoutthewindow.blogspot.com/
One working strategy we've used is that whatever it's sex or death or money, we never talk over our childrens heads. And why should we? And my kids have a very effective way of just telling their first thought of mind and listen to what the other say. (Eg, they don't mind if they say something some people would chew their foot of saying).
First, it's my kids way, second, they have an advantage because they can't be bullied, but unless they get an answer with a reason, they just ignore it.
And it gets worse if they don't get an adequate argument. Not "what do you say!" or "Go wash your mouth!" or something.
It's a hell not having a adequate answer to a question just asked as a answer from a "please explain why?"
It's not questioning of you, it's just a lack of adequate answers.
I had a fight (LOL) like this just a couple of weeks ago when I disliked my youngest sons stack of fireworks he had in a plastic bag in his room. First question was why. Then I explained that handling the fireworks like this in a plastic bag and carrying them around the house is a dangerous thing to do, because you damage the fuses and static electricity builds up that potentialy chan set everything on fire. Besides I don't want you cartoon-style-blowed in pieces"
The answer was a bit unexpected because he asked me to help him to sort out damaged fireworks and find something safe for static electricity.
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