No idea what I want in Life.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
To be completely honest I have no goals, none whatsoever....I find psychology intresting but the last chapter depressed me, I mean the heavy emphasis on 'peoples treatment depends on what their insurance will cover or what they can afford.' Though I imagine those who don't have insurance or the funds to pay for psychological treatment are probably the ones who could really use it....it disgusts me. So as much as I love learning about it I know I could not put up with getting career in that feild and having to turn people down.
Sociology is intresting and the professer who teaches a lot of the sociology classes is awesome but again what would I possibly do with that? Other then attain a lot of knowledge about how things work...what then. Do I really have the guts to challenge some of the problems in society? I know what I don't want but that does not help me with what I do want
But I gotta quit beating myself up over this.......yeah I am in college and don't know what to do with it, I will have to probably try to find work in the next year because I am only digging myself a hole with these loans though I am already in the hole so what difference does it make now if I continue attending college? I get fired a lot....well so what that does not mean I can't get a job, get fired, get a job get fired ect.
Also I am sick of having no freaking life.....but last time I felt like this and proceeded to pursue a more exciting lifestyle, it ended in a drug and sleep deprivation binge. I just don't know what to do, where to go or why I was born into this world. And I kind of wish to have a intimate relationship but am afraid to do anything to pursue that. I mean I have gotten some messeges on Okcupid.com but I always just avoid the site whenever I do start talking to someone on there when it gets to the point where the moment to talk about meeting up comes up. Same with a site called myyearbook I am on its not a dating site just a social networking site with forums, quizzes, some stuff like they have on dating sites ect. I guess I am just afraid if I hang out with a guy they will want to rush things and with me I cannot really consider a relationship with someone until they at least make it to friend status.
I keep getting more frequent visual distortions....and I have been playing with an intresting thing today, thinking(in words) about things that then take place. Like I was sitting on campus smoking a ciggerette and heard sirens as usual(happens in a city) but the thought 'hmm they are probably coming here.' popped into my head and I am thinking whatever there are always sirens there is no evidence to suggest they would be headed here. two minutes later an ambulance pulls up to the building. And there where a few other minor incidents of that today maybe i can use this ability to my advantage. Anyways I have no idea where I am going with this post now....so I guess this will be the end of it.
As for a career, try to keep up with getting an education and take some very different classes, especially a few outside your interests or comfort zone. Maybe something will click. Then, keep in mind that doing something on the job is very different than studying the same subject. I've met some people who thought they loved something, then the actual occupation wasn't what they expected.
For relationships, my honest advice is to look for better places to meet people. Unfortunately (for many of us who communicate better in writing/online), internet dating is probably not your best option and might even be a bad idea if you're afraid of things being rushed or any bad things happening. They're usually full of people who want to hook up or are generally undesirable for other reasons. Join some school clubs in different areas. Join a church that is relatively in line with your beliefs and you might meet more people with compatible beliefs. Maybe at places where people have similar interests and hobbies too. Coffee shops, book stores, libraries, volunteer work...
You don't have to rush or jump into anything. But don't give up either. Don't stop moving, doing things, learning things.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
For relationships, my honest advice is to look for better places to meet people. Unfortunately (for many of us who communicate better in writing/online), internet dating is probably not your best option and might even be a bad idea if you're afraid of things being rushed or any bad things happening. They're usually full of people who want to hook up or are generally undesirable for other reasons. Join some school clubs in different areas. Join a church that is relatively in line with your beliefs and you might meet more people with compatible beliefs. Maybe at places where people have similar interests and hobbies too. Coffee shops, book stores, libraries, volunteer work...
You don't have to rush or jump into anything. But don't give up either. Don't stop moving, doing things, learning things.
Well I am not intrested in internet dating, but it is possible to meet people online and then actually meet up in person...the dating would not happen unless we met up and hit it off. I could not date someone over the internet. There are no churches that are in line with my beliefs I am not religious......but yeah I am trying to find out about good places to make friend, but I really have no clue...concerts maybe, if I go alone instead of with my brother.
but yeah I don't see myself having a career, I'll have to live with various part time jobs just to make enough to live I guess...I am not career oriented in the least even if that is what I should be. uhh sometimes I just wish I could be a normal person who wanted to strive to get somewhere in this sick society because the genuinely believe a career path and a house and a couple cars will make their dreams come true.
Okay, yeah. I'm not especially religious myself. I have my own beliefs that I keep to myself and I don't go to church... BUT I met some really nice people at a church that had belifs I could... tolerate, lol. But if that doesn't work for you, that's cool. Internet stuff never really worked well for me either, but maybe it will for you. Concerts are a great idea! I personally wouldn't feel comfortable going without a friend, but I've met some really cool people and almost a girlfriend at concerts. Extracurricular stuff, community involvement and stuff like that is great too. I went on a GSA trip (Gay-Straight Alliance) and met a lot of great people. I was surprised how many straight supporters like me were there.
Yeah, I know what you mean about the whole American dream BS. Keeping up with the neighbors and trying to meet ridiculous expectations that society imposes but are completely invalid in other countries. Is that more of an NT thing?
I'm considering working for a few years at a fairly undesirable job that pays really well while I get back to college. Is there nothing that you'd really enjoy doing, or something you could at least tolerate that the average NT couldn't? This job I have in mind would suck in a lot of ways, but the pay and benefits are great and they have a lot of turnover so job security shouldn't be an issue.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Yeah, I know what you mean about the whole American dream BS. Keeping up with the neighbors and trying to meet ridiculous expectations that society imposes but are completely invalid in other countries. Is that more of an NT thing?
Well I like that medicinal marijuana is legal in my state and would love to get in on growing for dispensaries or something like that, but no idea where to start......I also would not mind working a at a liqour store, or a smoke shop, people at places like that are tolerable and customers are not as impatient it seems...at the smoke shops it is possible they are stoned and that is why they are not impatient. lol. I have thought about fast food and grocery stores but in reality there is no way I could handle a fast paced job like that.
But other then that i do want to try and find activites or groups or whatever to meet people...still working on that.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
As a whole I do enjoy studying psychology and sociology, but then there are days like today...I was just detatched and numb and did not even care what was going on in class.
MXH
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Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
The whole turning people down thing isn't optional when it comes to psychology? I thought there were small practices that gave you leeway with that type of thing.
As far as relationships of any kind, they are the type of thing where sometimes you must take a chance. I have the same philosophy tho and could not be with my girlfriend had we not been friends first. I don't even know if its a matter of friendship.. more of a matter of someone liking me for me.
tomboy4good
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Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,379
Location: Irritating people everywhere
But other then that i do want to try and find activites or groups or whatever to meet people...still working on that.
Are you sure about working in a liquor store? Liquor stores have some violent robberies & crazy customers. I used to work at one when I was your age. One day as guy came in wanting a bottle of gin....when I didn't produce it fast enough to suit him, I thought he was going to physically attack me. He was practically climbing over the counter to get to me. Another time, I thought a customer was going to rape me. He said I was the best looking girl he'd seen in some time & wanted to f**k me.
_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.
Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
But other then that i do want to try and find activites or groups or whatever to meet people...still working on that.
Are you sure about working in a liquor store? Liquor stores have some violent robberies & crazy customers. I used to work at one when I was your age. One day as guy came in wanting a bottle of gin....when I didn't produce it fast enough to suit him, I thought he was going to physically attack me. He was practically climbing over the counter to get to me. Another time, I thought a customer was going to rape me. He said I was the best looking girl he'd seen in some time & wanted to f**k me.
Yeah that would suck, guess I will just have to be unattractive...I just feel like it would be a rather easy job, but yeah I am certianly aware stuff like that can happen. But its not like I have a lot of options to choose from as far as work goes if I stop going to college after this semester or the next one....but yeah if something like that did happen they can rob the damn store all they want I won't be dying for a cash register...
tomboy4good
Veteran
Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,379
Location: Irritating people everywhere
But other then that i do want to try and find activites or groups or whatever to meet people...still working on that.
Are you sure about working in a liquor store? Liquor stores have some violent robberies & crazy customers. I used to work at one when I was your age. One day as guy came in wanting a bottle of gin....when I didn't produce it fast enough to suit him, I thought he was going to physically attack me. He was practically climbing over the counter to get to me. Another time, I thought a customer was going to rape me. He said I was the best looking girl he'd seen in some time & wanted to f**k me.
Yeah that would suck, guess I will just have to be unattractive...I just feel like it would be a rather easy job, but yeah I am certianly aware stuff like that can happen. But its not like I have a lot of options to choose from as far as work goes if I stop going to college after this semester or the next one.
I didn't have a lot of options either, Sweetleaf. But there are jobs where abuse & mistreatment happen less often. I just wouldn't advise any young girl (no matter how unattractive she thinks she can make herself) to work in a place that is high risk for being robbed or attacked. I myself have never thought I was at all attractive. I had grown up hearing how ugly & disgusting I was forever, & wasn't even trying to be attractive at the liquor store. IN fact, I went out of my way to appear mostly invisible. Unfortunately, you just never know what the customer is thinking or feeling when he/she enters the store. It could go ok or it could turn abusive. You just never know. I also forgot an incident with a female customer who was openly abusive to me whenever she came into the store (threw coins at me & yelled at me). She didn't act like that with anyone else just me, & got me in trouble every chance she got. It was just another reason why I quit the job. Too much stress & too many crazy people to deal with on a daily basis. Also, I had to work nights & weekends, as well as all holidays. In fact, I was trained on Easter Sunday.
_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.
Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
But other then that i do want to try and find activites or groups or whatever to meet people...still working on that.
Are you sure about working in a liquor store? Liquor stores have some violent robberies & crazy customers. I used to work at one when I was your age. One day as guy came in wanting a bottle of gin....when I didn't produce it fast enough to suit him, I thought he was going to physically attack me. He was practically climbing over the counter to get to me. Another time, I thought a customer was going to rape me. He said I was the best looking girl he'd seen in some time & wanted to f**k me.
Yeah that would suck, guess I will just have to be unattractive...I just feel like it would be a rather easy job, but yeah I am certianly aware stuff like that can happen. But its not like I have a lot of options to choose from as far as work goes if I stop going to college after this semester or the next one.
I didn't have a lot of options either, Sweetleaf. But there are jobs where abuse & mistreatment happen less often. I just wouldn't advise any young girl (no matter how unattractive she thinks she can make herself) to work in a place that is high risk for being robbed or attacked. I myself have never thought I was at all attractive. I had grown up hearing how ugly & disgusting I was forever, & wasn't even trying to be attractive at the liquor store. IN fact, I went out of my way to appear mostly invisible. Unfortunately, you just never know what the customer is thinking or feeling when he/she enters the store. It could go ok or it could turn abusive. You just never know. I also forgot an incident with a female customer who was openly abusive to me whenever she came into the store (threw coins at me & yelled at me). She didn't act like that with anyone else just me, & got me in trouble every chance she got. It was just another reason why I quit the job. Too much stress & too many crazy people to deal with on a daily basis. Also, I had to work nights & weekends, as well as all holidays. In fact, I was trained on Easter Sunday.
well then smoke shops it is or if I think of anything else maybe movie theaters would be good...most stoners don't rob stores and guess who buys a lot of pipes they sell in smoke shops? I would not want to work on weekends but it would be fine on holidays...lol its not like I want to go pretend to be happy around my family so working on holidays would give me an excuse not to
You don't have to be a psychologists that deals with clients directly. Aka not the type that come into an office needing a shrink. There are many fields within psychology.
Research
Forensic Psychology (think Dr. Sweets from Bones
)
Counselor (working for a firm not an individual)
Social Worker (also Sociologists can do this)
Private Security (aka the people that employ psychologists to screen their applicants and security personnel)
While I understand you want to help people, dont feel down about not doing that for a living per say. You still can work on any of the above fields as your breadwinning job and have a small, part-time private practice to help people...and the $$ they pay will be up to you. ![]()
