Hard to feel like others without alcohol

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skahthic
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14 Aug 2010, 11:17 am

I wish I felt like other people, or I wish they they were more like me. I always feel awkward around people, have difficulty remembering their faces ( though I never forget their cars), and have pretty specific interests that other people get bored with quickly and so even when I'm out I do alot of "acting". I still don't feel like them, though. And I'm not a good actor.
Sometimes it seems that drinking levels out the field. People don't think I'm so odd when they're drunk or when I drink. and it stinks because I don't feel I should have to drink to relate to people.
I just end up spending alot of time alone or with my boyfriend, who also is a loner. It just "bums me out" to feel like this. People are so strange sometimes.



Tim_Tex
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14 Aug 2010, 12:17 pm

First of all, welcome back to WP! Long time no see!

If you want to relate to people without drinking, try to make friends who will accept you and who don't drink, or do it in moderation.


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Willard
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14 Aug 2010, 12:19 pm

skahthic wrote:
People don't think I'm so odd when they're drunk or when I drink. and it stinks because I don't feel I should have to drink to relate to people


I'm sorry that you feel such a need to associate with people, they really aren't worth the effort, but you'll discover that on your own over time as they continue to use, abuse and betray you. Eventually you'll reach a point where you won't want to relate to those useless creatures anymore and none of this will matter.

Alcohol, on the other hand, is your friend. Its a reliable pain killer and you don't need a prescription for it. Emotional Novacaine. Good for what ails you - and what ails you is people.



Dennis
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14 Aug 2010, 1:45 pm

People suck, you don't want to be like them. I would not recommend using alcohol too much though. it can be dangerous and not worth it.



RaquiGirl
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14 Aug 2010, 3:09 pm

Have you ever considered that perhaps it's not that people accept you more when you're drunk, but that it just doesn't matter to you as much if they don't when you're drunk? Now... you might be on to something when you say that they accept you more when THEY'RE drunk.

Alcohol changes your perceptions. That's why people drink it for the most part. It can be very useful for that very reason, but if the detriments outweigh the benefits (and only you can decide if that's the case), it might be time to let up on it. And if you find that it's not as easy as it sounds, there's help for that.

And I'm with Willard on one point at least ;). If people can't accept you exactly as you are, for the love of Pete, stop bothering! :)


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leejosepho
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14 Aug 2010, 3:40 pm

skahthic wrote:
I wish I felt like other people, or I wish they they were more like me ...
Sometimes it seems that drinking levels out the field ... [and] I don't feel I should have to drink to relate to people. [So] I just end up spending a lot of time alone or with my boyfriend, who also is a loner. It just "bums me out" to feel like this. People are so strange sometimes.


There is absolutely nothing wrong with using alcohol as a social lubricant as long as the overall social encounter being experienced is not dependent upon everyone present being drunk ... and I can imagine that kind of social environment is difficult to find. Personally, I have only ever known very few people who get together and have a couple of drinks over the course of an afternoon or evening shared together. But to get back to something at the very core of what you have said:

"I don't feel I should have to drink to relate to people."

I do not recall ever having that specific thought, but I definitely remember telling someone that was why I drank.

Drinking to relate to others ultimately did not really get that job done, but spiritual fellowship now does.


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CockneyRebel
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14 Aug 2010, 5:39 pm

After a beer, my bottom lip shrinks, and I start laughing, dancing and talking. I also joke around. The thing is, that I end up wishing, I didn't drink that beer, because I'm not acting in a way that's natural, for me.


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LayneMeeks
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16 Aug 2010, 5:16 pm

Before I knew I was an aspie, I would drink. Have a couple beers, and for a time forget myself, my problems, and could almost pass for an NT. I even had some girls call me flirty which is not me.

I enjoyed getting drunk for a time because I could fit in better than another period in my life up to that point. I felt connected and I knew why people liked it so much.

And then I woke up, realized the more I became drunk, the less power I actually had. I had only delayed my AS until the morning, and it was a brick wall from there. How could you connect with people, only to find 12 hours later you have nothing in common? How can I make friends with people who don't even know the real me?

The more I drank the less I wanted to be sober, until I realized I was a mess. I was an utter mess with one goal in mind: fit in. That's why I stopped drinking, it made me believe I could achieve a social standard if I just kept at it. Same with painkillers I told myself it was for my own good, all part of the cause.

All that work, all that drinking, just to confirm I don't fit in. I could've saved the money bought another guitar.

Please don't drink to fit in, I've been there. You'll have a much better life quality without it.