Annoyed and Lonely (with slight ranting)

Post Reply New Topic

I just feel sort of annoyed right now at everything, really, especially myself. I made sure that I didn't post when it happened, because I didn't want to be going crazy and shouting at the computer, but now that I'm more under control, I'd like to share what happened at my prom a while back.

I've accepted that I have no social skills, for the most part.

However, when I look back at prom, all I see are mistakes and missed opportunities or people taking obvious pity on me. Which is annoying because I wanted prom this year to be very fun, especially since I participated in prom build (which was actually a good social experience for me- apparently I do a lot better socially when my hands are preoccupied with building or painting things, which are related to my special interest, which is art). The night itself was just a disaster, though.

I was aware that people had after-parties set up (they've been ranting about them around me for a few months, at least), but I never got an invite to one of them, even the one that my best friends were doing (or if I did, I don't remember because they never followed up). I know all of that is my fault, and that aggravates me, since there's nothing that can be done to fix it.

I was alone 98% of the time, with the other 2% being when I'm pretty sure failed a social communicating with a friend of mine by overly talking about video games (especially the Fallout series) and other girls sat next to me for a second, asked if I was alright, then left to dance because I said I was since I figured that it wasn't right to burden them. The rest consisted of me failing at dancing (I just took pictures of my friends like another girl was doing, which was fun), and talking to another group of girls about foreign music (which was the best part of the night, honestly). For most of the time, though, I was drinking Dr. Pepper and wondering how to participate myself in the...close dancing that a lot of the group was doing just to feel like I belonged.

I think part of the discomfort is how I am seeing my friends now. It kind of disturbs me to see them in such adult attire, I guess. There was a boy there who I used to babysit, and he was sporting a beard and wearing a tuxedo, and it was very surreal. A lot of my more tomboyish friends wore dresses that accentuate their cleavage and hips, which kind of scared me since I can't seem to accept that they are older while I've not changed at all since I was younger except for a few tiny fashion things since 3-5th grade (I no longer wear black most of the time- but most of my wardrobe is appropriate to a teenager/pre-pubescent boy for example).

I know all of this is my fault- Prom is supposed to be a very fun time to meet new friends according to my mom, but I just felt out of the loop and weird the entire time. All it's done is shown me how much I've failed as a person socially since I can't decipher all of the social pretext for Prom. Is there some kind of super-secret-awesome password for being invited to parties (I've almost never been invited to parties, and am never invited again despite the fact that I've been told that I'm perfect for sleepovers and such since I'm a responsible, nice, moral person who gets along with parents very well)?

I just want to get back to the art room and forget about it now that it's over.

Has anyone gone through the same thing with prom? Is there any advice that you all could give to at least make being by yourself for the entire time entertaining for next year?

Edit: Oh man, this post is long- sorry! ^^:: Also, there is probably grammar mistakes- if I see them when I post, I'll fix them, but other than that, not checking grammar beyond just spur-of-the-moment.

It's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong. I can understand the pain and aggravation that you felt at your Prom.

We don't have a Prom in my country but we do have a a thing called a Grad which is similar but it's once off. I didn't have a date for the Grad but the guys friends from the group I hung out with all minded me and made sure I had a great time. I did feel uncomfortable at the meal part because none of my female 'friends' wanted to sit with me and I didn't really get to talk with anybody then, and after the music was too loud to talk so we all just danced together.

I don't know how you could make it more entertaining for yourself next year, if you're not fond of dancing these things can be very boring. Although, I think your Mum could be incorrect about meeting new people, if Prom is as similar to a Grad as I think, everyone knows everyone already or knows who they want to know better a long time before the event.

Btw, Fallout is good (I like Oblivion better though). Are you going to get the Skyrim game? or are you interested in just Fallout?

Grad does sound very similar to prom- and I have prom next year too, with dinner. Grad kind of does have a cooler name for all the hooplah, though. XD

Yeah, that's what I figured as well (about meeting new people). I mean, besides introducing each other to their boyfriends/girlfriends, there was really no meeting new people. People separated into their certain cliques really quickly after the initial presentation, I observed.

The funny thing, is that I actually really enjoy dancing in certain aspects. This new generation "grinding" thing disturbs me, however. I love ballet, waltzes, swing, and ballroom dancing to an extent, but unfortunately none of those are really popular.

I love the Elder Scrolls Series (prefer Fallout, though- especially New Vegas since I prefer the enemy/land distribution in the New Vegas game despite the obvious bugs it has). For sure I am getting Skyrim- dragons are just too great to miss. Plus, I can't wait to see if they fixed the creepy faces problem in Oblivion (some of the faces of the NPCs looked weird and scary compared to Fallout). That's one of the two games I'm saving serious cash for- besides Bioshock Infinite.

Hey, you're ahead of where I was at that age. I'm much better now. Socializing is easier when you are comfortable in your own skin. High school usually doesn't allow for that.

I just had an idea. Is it possible for you to make a gamer social group in your school?

Sorry about taking so long to respond, I've been quite distracted the past while. I can see how the grinding type dancing would make you uncomfortable, it's more a thing between bf-gf's or (where people are properly accepting) gf-gf/bf-bf.

I played Fallout vicariously through my bf, it looked fun but the radiation poisoning looked difficult to regulate. I found Oblivion elder scrolls easier for me to play, plus (I think) I'm kinda girly because I really liked the detail on the forests and sunsets and such.

It's not that possible, sadly. No one in my school is interested in/knows about video games besides one-two girls who are very slightly interested thanks to the Fable series, but would probably slink away if I started chatting about video games in the way that I'm prone to doing (but am trying to stop) which is very, very obsessively about graphics, sound, and generally other things that make good games great.

Yeah, that's basically it with the grinding thing- I'm probably the only single person in my grade (by choice- I can't handle average romantic personal relationships without having a meltdown/shutdown...yeah). I'm going to try and see if next year I can find a "sit down" group (as in a group that chooses not to dance- surely I can't be the only one) and see if I can talk to them for entertainment. Either that or bring my gameboy and level up my Pokemon.

I find Fallout easier to play than Oblivion- I'm more used to guns and bullets than arrows and magic. The radiation thing isn't really that hard to regulate in Fallout: New Vegas nor in Fallout 3 if you basically know where radiation will probably be. Besides, it takes a LOT of time to get up enough radiation to die a horrid death. The starvation, sleep deprivation, and hydration are what will probably kill me when I replay Fallout: New Vegas on hardcore mode.

Of course, probably one of the things that kept me from liking Oblivion more than Fallout was that Oblivion's Tamriel just seemed smaller than Fallout's world. Plus, I enjoy all of the 50s-esque artwork in Fallout: New Vegas, although the scenery, for it's time, is gorgeous in Oblivion.

@ Mindslave: Yeah, I guess that could factor into it. I hope my socialization issues become a little bit less apparent when I go to college.

Sorry it took so long to respond to you, things have been chaos.