My mother is a worrying machine! Arghh!

Post Reply New Topic

Geeze, it most annoying thing in my life.

My mother always get so tinkly worried where I go and do things. Yesterday she got extremely worried and talking to her boyfriend and my sister about how bad she feel about me going to US and Canada for working holiday. She talk about medical stuff, I am insuranced and she still very worried about my health and get injured. My health is excellent. As part of the working holiday program fee there is inclusion of medical insurance. I am not worried about it because things won't happen but my mother does! She always get so negative about my outlook in life.

I also have hearing loss. She may fear I lose my hearing aids. But seriously, I been to uni long away from home for four years and nothing has happened. She making big excuses for me going overseas for first time. Making things look scarier than normal. She always always get so worried about what I am doing every exact moment of my life.

Other times, she always track me. Like what seating area I sit at the stadium. Checking out my FB profile every single day. Use flight track maps. Everything that appears stalking wise. I just feel so uncomfortable about this because the reflection of her feelings against me is just really negative. It making me feel pressured for doing things what I wanted to do. What has to be so scary about? I'm not like going to Middle East! Geeze.

Mothers has to stop these days. Calm down, think clearly and do right things.

my mom is the exact same way! i can't have fun with her because she's always fussing.

I'd not get too offended and just take it to mean that she cares for you and your well being.
Thats what I do with my mum anyway.

Yes caring and the wellbeing is good. But this gone too far. It making a control of my life. You can't control by the worries of the person for not doing something that seems not even dangerous at all? See what I mean?

I think if I were in your situation I would do a draft about what it is exactly that she does that bothers you and why (give emotional reasons, like "I feel disrespected when you check my facebook every day because I interpret that to mean that I am unable handle myself and my life, but I can't learn to handle myself if you are checking up on me so often. That makes me feel hopeless."). People can't always relate to your beliefs and ideas, but they can relate pretty well to the emotions behind them.

Then ask her if she would be willing to cut back on the outside manifestations of her worry (like checking your flight patterns), for your sake. Tell her that you understand that she's concerned about her child because she loves you, and that you appreciate that (assuming you do understand and appreciate, no fibs ), but that this is really eating you up inside.

There are empathy exercises that both of you can do. I'm sure there are some online. This will help both of you to see each others perspectives. Not saying that you have to change her mind about her, but it's helpful to know where she's coming from in order to figure out how to resolve the problem so that everyone is happy.

My mom has always been a worrier. It's just her nature. It doesn't really affect me directly much because I live 3 states away, but I've learned to accept that part of her. To me, her worry can get unhealthy, but I just let her know that I appreciate that she's concerned for me and reassure her that I'll make it through whatever difficulties I'm currently having.

Well what is a difference for mothers don't do this to their child and still have good relationship?

Your Mum is just being a Mum. My sister recently travelled from the UK to Hong Kong, she is NT with no difficulties and she is a few years old than you. Even though my sister has been to abroad on her own before, my Mum worried and fussed. Once you come back from your holiday and tell your Mum what a success it was, she will maybe worry a little less next time. It can be difficult for parents to 'let go' sometimes, especially of children who needed extra support when they were young.

I hope you enjoy your working holiday when you get there.

Sweet Pea hugs

I would sit down and talk to her, Ive done that with my own mom, and gotten a much better relationship with her after that
Always try to understand her first, then you can always just say: screw her! and do whatever you want after

My cousin and sister has been triggering off rumours of potential problems while me being over there. They talk about how bad America is in terms of health and it has potentials for me to kill myself in some sort of potential accidents like skiing, highways etc etc. Why on earth I need to think about that? I am insuranced! No problems! If I have a broken thumb from skiing, who cares!

I think sitting down and talking to her about what u feel is a good idea.

Also It might calm her down a bit if u register your plans with Smart Traveller.
http://smartraveller.gov.au/