I hate September.

Post Reply New Topic

I'll be having yet another birthday in less than a month now. One year closer to menopause and then the grave. Still single, childless and broke. No friends or real job skills. Just me and a middle aged cat in a rented house that honestly wouldn't pass inspection if anyone from the state came to call.

My mom is trying to convince me to move back home and apply for a job at the chicken plant. She's tired of me living in this death trap and of my boss taking advantage of me. I don't really want to move home, but I'm not happy where I'm at. I've made no friends here. And since the boss changed my hours I don't get to even play trivia anymore.

But even if I do go back home I'll still be a wasted old spinster with no friends or babies. Then one day I'll die and no one will even miss me. I hate September.

A spinster at 31? You've got plenty of time.

So? I decided long ago not to even want children, since I always considered myself to be too weird to be wanted by anybody. Besides, the way my parents treated any girl I was interested in pretty much sums up why I'm still single, even when I'm 3 weeks away from my 57th birthday. Also, having girls wanting to get in my pants was more than enough trauma.

Not really. I'll be 32 next month. Your chances of having a healthy baby decline drastically at 35. I have 3 years to find a man, date him, tie the knot, and have my babies. That's not long at all.

There's always adoption. My brother's ex- went through early menopause at age 25. The only way they could have children was to adopt. They adopted a daughter in 1990. That girl's now 23, and is now a senior editor for Macmillan Publishing's High School Physics textbooks.

Even if we overlook the fact I may never get to be a mother I'm still alone. My last relationship was over a year and a half ago. I havent had a conversation that didn't revolve around mom's hog in Months. I haven't been hugged, kissed, or even had my hand shaked since spring of last year.

And that's not for lack of trying. I am on 3 online dating sites. Just signed up for a fourth. I was even on a paid site for 6 months. I have texted to multiple guys a night. None have expressed any interest in meeting. I have had relationships since middle school, with 4 and 3 year periods between.

I don't want to wait another years to meet someone. I'm tired of having no one to share things with. No one who cares. I want someone to give a damn that I even exist.

Keep trying. I think you have a lot to offer. You are smart and beautiful. You probably just live in an area where the possibilities are limited. People care about you. Your mom must care about you or she wouldn't want you to move. You still have three years until you are 35, and many women older than that still have healthy kids. And just because kids are not born completely healthy doesn't mean they will never be healthy.

If I wasn't married, I think I'd take a chance with you. I like trivia, too.

What do you do for a living?--if you don't mind me asking.

It sounds like work at the chicken plant wouldn't be to your taste. I could understand you not wanting to move back with your parents. I resolved, when I left my mother, that I'll never come back. 33 years later, fortunately, I haven't had to come back.

Also: you're still young--a spring chicken!

My cousin was born when my aunt was 38. He is healthy, in his 14 right now, in love with a girl a year older. Normal teenager with friends, doing OK at school, great as sports and video games.

A friend of my mom gave birth to a girl last year, at age 43. First child. The girl is 1 year old now.
I have never seen so smart girl. She catches up everything very fast, she is nice to animals and doing well manually, walking, running, climbing on furniture. She is currently learning to speak and seems pretty good with it. She may be a little slim compared to other children but she looks like a little adult this way. I looked similar when I was her age so she will be fine too. At least she won't have to worry of being overweight in the future.

So don't worry, you still have time.

BTW. If you really want a baby you can always go to a party, get a stranger boy for one night stand and tell him you are "on pills so you don't have to use condom". There is a chance you will end up with a baby. Your parents will help you raise their grandchild and you will have someone to live for.
But you should consider it as a last chance desperate move and try to get a family the regular way till you can.

Are you willing to share any of your dating site profiles?

Sex with a stranger? One word: AIDS. Other wise I might seriously consider it.

Hey, moving in with family isn't such a terrible option; if you're broke, definitely not.

Think about trade school, maybe?

I'm male, so I don't think about procreating as much as I do social impact. For the first time in my life a few days ago, someone very real and familiar to myself, regardless of our relationship, died from drowning. He was in the ICU for a day, and I can't believe he is gone. I've had distant relatives, idolized celebrities and whatnot, but this has been my first real time. I can't believe it.

My point is that the "world" runs on these things, and there is quite often a way to make a living off these issues. People are not so terrible.
With Asperger's, the root isn't your problem, but you obviously make mistakes. Companionship is a way to grow with others and learn to manage your issues.

Hey, moving in with family isn't such a terrible option; if you're broke, definitely not.

Think about trade school, maybe?

I'm male, so I don't think about procreating as much as I do social impact. For the first time in my life a few days ago, someone very real and familiar to myself, regardless of our relationship, died from drowning. He was in the ICU for a day, and I can't believe he is gone. I've had distant relatives, idolized celebrities and whatnot, but this has been my first real time. I can't believe it.

My point is that the "world" runs on these things, and there is quite often a way to make a living off these issues. People are not so terrible.
With Asperger's, the root isn't your problem, but you obviously make mistakes. Companionship is a way to grow with others and learn to manage your issues.
I know it sounds like I'm "evangelizing" in some fashion, but especially with our condition, I feel it is remedial to propagate social welfare.
And when i say "social", I mean "for the greater good"

My current job is overnight care giver at an assisted living facility. I am their CNA, cook, janitor, and anything else that needs done because the boss only keeps one person on staff overnight, for $7.50 an hour. And my mom claims this is illegal because I am not a nurse thus should not be handing out medicine. I don't know, the boss told me when I started that its OK because of the packaging. Each person's medicine come pre-measured in single dose bubble packs.

I got 7.25, the smallest legal amount for years. I only got my raise this past winter when I was physically attacked by a resident with schizophrenia. And my boss has two set paydays for us a month and only pays two weeks at a time. Most months are not 4 weeks exactly so my checks are a bit behind, I am still getting paid for April, which means only have had a couple checks at 7.50.

But I am good with disabled people and children. It's healhy adult NTs I can't deal with. Can't understand what they want. Can't understand unspoken signals. Children and senile people say exactly what they think, and if I do misunderstand them they forget 3 minutes later.

My mom has found a couple places near her house that need cashiers. I use to do that in highschool. Cashiering isn't so bad. I kind of follow a script while ringing people up. Plus if I keep change on me I could expand my coin collection, you wouldn't believe how many people will pay with Indian head pennies and not realize it, and I have never had a boss care if I swap a Buffalo nickel in the drawer for a nickle in my pocket.

Plus my mom and step dad are struggling financially at the moment. His big rig has been in the shop more than it's been on the road. If I were paying my mom rent instead of the landlord it would really help her. I spend a lot of time at her house as it is. And I wouldn't have to vacuum, I'd do dishes and she could vaccum. I wouldn't have to run a noisy lawn mower often either, mom keeps he grass short by putting the horse in the yard overnight every few days.

But I do worry about not having my space. Plus I don't get along with my step dad that well, but as mom pointed out he's gone back to work. When I lived here before he was always here because he couldn't work for two years after an accident, he was run over by a rig because his spotter didn't do his job. And when he gets mad he gets loud...

So I can see benefits to moving home, but I still worry that it may not be a good idea. Plus I won't date men who live with their moms. (I tried, mommy issues). But if I won't date guys who live with their moms how could I ever expect a guy to date me if I move home?

As for tradeschool, I tried to go to school but the recruiting person blew me off repeatedly then when i finally got a meeting told me everything was online and they didn't have anyone to guide me through the paper work. So yeah... That didn't happen.

You're lucky!

I've never had an Indian-head penny in my possession. The best I've done is those 1943 steel pennies.

I've had buffalo nickels a couple of times.

I used to be a coin-collector.

I started collecting back in the 1960s.