is it fair and right to single people out.

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two people are fighting. if you tell just one to stop, that's singling them out right? both people started the fight both kept it going. you should tell both to stop.

apparently i'm wrong to feel hurt for being singled out as the sole causer of the fight.

Then tell them "Look, I didn't start it." and walk away. When my kids would get to fighting I'd tell whichever one of them I got to first to stop it. If I got to both at the same time I'd tell them both stop it right now, but I'd probably put more effort into talking to whichever was the more reasonable seeming one. Also, whichever one was the least emotional at the time or who listened to me better.

The person saying that either saw you first, thought you were the more reasonable or calm one, or thought you probably started it. Any of those could be true. Unless you are being punished for it and the other person isn't, it really doesn't matter if someone tells you and not somebody else. Also, there may be reasons they didn't say it to the other guy that you don't know about.

It's not really a matter of fair or right. Life isn't fair. However, if you tell one person to stop the fight and they do then you have accomplished what you set out to do. Was this at work? If so, did you get written up for it? Because that is the kind of situation where wrong or right and fair and unfair matters a lot.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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You have to believe you are right (especially when you're actually right)--and forget about all the idiots who merely want to win arguments.

Don't LET them single you out!

Telling one to stop usually means the other gets to give them the last blows unpunished. It also encourages being the less reasonable-looking.

Edit -- Tpyo.

No, singling people out isn't fair nor right. You are not wrong to feel hurt about it. Depending on the circumstances, let the person know you feel hurt, ideally in an individualized setting.
So normally my wife and I split the kids up. So if she starts on one I'll talk to the other, so they don't feel singled out. Both are getting talked to about what they did and 'their' contributions, in a manner such that they know the other participant is also being corrected for what they did. It is really nice because the whole, 'but she...' doesn't happen very much anymore as it is easily countered with 'we're talking about what you did, mom is addressing your brothers behavior with him.'
Of course, that only works when we're both home. Otherwise we just have to separate them and talk to them individually. Again though, it is important that each understand what part of their behavior was inappropriate, and that the other one will also be talked to about their behavior.
Singling people out just creates hard feelings and makes the situation worse. I hope you are in a position where you can get this fixed. Regardless, you are not wrong to feel hurt for being singled out.
Good luck and stay safe.

Creating hard feelings is a good way to ensure you'll soon have a reason to further punish the one you created the hard feelings in, thus creating even harder feelings, and so on.