My sister has Narcissistic Personality Disorder
She has a very deep anger in her and takes it out on other people. If she will use someone, she will. She manipulates by threatening people, and if she doesn't get her own way cos they're stronger than her, she will cry about it and manipulate that way.
I wish my family would just cut her out. At least now I've allowed her to have the upper-hand by "acknowledging" that it was her who cut me out, that my family won't try to bully me into talking to her again. I can just tell them it's only up to her, and I can't contact her because she's blocked my number.
I already tried cutting her out once, and my family bullied me into keeping in touch with her again. They are always f*cking saying she's changed. She will NEVER change. She wants me dead, she always has. She has always been insanely jealous of me. In fact, one of the last text messages she sent me told me to keep away from her "boyfriend", as if I was going to take him or something. Why the Hell would I take him? She's bloody mental.
You want to know why she did this latest thing? She purposely didn't send me a birthday card or present. I said to her I was a bit hurt about it. Immediately she started to argue with me, guilt-trip me and call it a "demand". It was the first time I had ever mentioned it to her. She set up the whole argument on purpose, because she still hates me. Always has, always will. No matter how my mother and nan try their utmost to distort that fact.
It also means that because I got her a £20 voucher for her birthday, she gets £20 out of me for free. Yes, that is how she thinks. It is how she thinks when dealing with other people. It is how she thinks when mum looks after her kids. My sister hates my mother with a passion too, but she is very on the surface with everyone and pretends to get along with someone if she knows she can get something out of them. She's used what I'm worth in her eyes, I've said I can't look after children and so I'm useless to her again.
There's more to it than I CBA to type that she's somehow a reincarnation of Hitler, but meh. She's threatened to beat me up before, etc. etc. etc.
I'm willing to cut out my whole family in order to get peace from them all. Yet I'm autistic and need support. My mum slags me off to everybody too. I'm the one with the problems. My mum isn't obsessed with getting my sister tested for her mental health like she is with me. Like the anger managment specialist madly hinted at when I was little, that someone in my family was releasing their anger out through me. Mum's reasoning was that I held in all the problems at school all day and released them at home. Well, my sister used to bully me non-stop when I was growing up, she made me believe everybody hated me and that I was a horrible person. It took me many years to figure out none of what happened when I was a child was normal. Brothers and sisters fight, yes, but they don't have an insane anger wanting to kill their sibling.
_________________
I've left WP.
I want everything to end, I can't deal with people anymore.
I feel like Frodo at the end of having worn that ring, I feel like I've taken in and been punished by all that life has to offer me. I feel like I need to go away, forever, and never return. I'm so exhausted by the amount of people who have used and abused me. I feel fragile and worn. I just want peace. To leave this world for a better place.
Perhaps I will one day. It would be a kind of relief, I don't really fear death anymore. It would mean my sister would be out of my world forever, too, with nobody pushing me to be someone I'm not.
No more people making me out to be mean. My family are unbelievable, telling me I was being mean for "not wanting" to see anybody. My skin was so bad I couldn't turn my neck, and I couldn't even smile without my skin breaking. I couldn't see my own friends, I've been physically in pain and discomfort. Why would they be so horrible to me? I've explained to them countless times, you could physically see my skin condition too, I had a few looks of disgust from people for it.
My next door neighbour still watches me as I go indoors or into the bathroom.
And my so called friend being really nasty to me after everything I had done for her, and put up with.
Everytime I've tried to reason with my family they turn the blame on me. I've had enough of everyone. Humans are horrible. I don't want to live anymore. Yes people need me, but only for their own selfish reasons.
_________________
I've left WP.
If there's anybody who can help me commit suicide, please do tell me. It isn't selfish to help someone to die peacefully. I've explored life, there's nothing left to offer me. I know what people are like. I have an idea what the rest of the world is like. Nothing is new to me anymore.
_________________
I've left WP.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,459
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Umm...that escalated quickly, I didn't read all the above, but I got that your sister is being mean to you and you're not in good terms with family - but does that deserve to end your own life?
I dunno, I am not in your shoes, I would say no more, but please read this first before thinking of doing anything to yourself, it is a very good short read:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
You are probably now in shock for me being somehow compassionate

I won't tell you not to commit suicide, but the world will get a little dimmer and insanity will have gained a little more ground if you die. It must suck to have a permanent skin condition, I had a temporary one when I was young, scarlet fever. It was horrible while it lasted.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,459
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Umm...that escalated quickly, I didn't read all the above, but I got that your sister is being mean to you and you're not in good terms with family - but does that deserve to end your own life?
Not really. If you read this post, plus my old posts about noisy neighbours, and the post about my unreasonable friend, plus my old posts to do with my sister, you would see this has all built up over time.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
You are probably now in shock for me being somehow compassionate

Not really. You've been nicer to me in recent years. Thanks for your support.
_________________
I've left WP.
Dermatitis on the face and the arms. Cracking flaking skin that itches a lot and I scratch it until it bleeds. It's not as bad as it was, but that's only because I've been eating a low carbohydrate diet, so low sometimes I feel faint. But it's the only thing that relieves the itching. I can't eat anything sweet, not even fruit or sweet vegetables. 1/4 teaspoon sugar makes my skin terrible again and it lasts for weeks. My body cannot tolerate sugar or carbs. I've managed to find a link between it and vitamin deficiencies, and I've been researching everywhere to find the right vitamins, and the most readily absorbed and safest vitamins etc.
When people ask me if I've tried skin cream I want to slap them. It's about the most obvious patronizing question anybody could ask me.
_________________
I've left WP.
I won't tell you not to commit suicide, but the world will get a little dimmer and insanity will have gained a little more ground if you die. It must suck to have a permanent skin condition, I had a temporary one when I was young, scarlet fever. It was horrible while it lasted.
Thank you. Mine isn't permenant, or at least I hope it is not.
_________________
I've left WP.
You seem to be going through a lot smudge, I'm really sorry.
The best way to deal with your sister is not to expect or want her to change. Accept her as she is and all the tough situations she puts you through. It sounds absurd, doesn't it? But it's crazy enough to work. The more you try to fight the system the deeper you find yourself entangled in it. Trust me, I know.
You see how things really are in your family. Narcissism tears at the fibers of all that is healthy, as other family members become codependent and enter their world of denial.
Not all is bleak. You can find a family outside of your bloodline with ties that are unbreakable. It takes a lot of effort, but trust me, it can be done.
Think about where you would want to take your life if your bloodline was not making efforts to hold your back, and do not feel the slightest bit ashamed about it.
Take some pride in the fact that, if your description of your family is true, you are the healthiest member of your bloodline, and you can get out and not own their BS if you really want to put in the effort involved to get there.
The best way to deal with your sister is not to expect or want her to change. Accept her as she is and all the tough situations she puts you through. It sounds absurd, doesn't it? But it's crazy enough to work. The more you try to fight the system the deeper you find yourself entangled in it. Trust me, I know.
Thanks for your input, but I won't sacrifice my money and mental health for anyone. I would not let a man treat me nearly as bad in a relationship, let alone a friend or family member. My sister has gone too far, many times. I only gave her a go again because I was pressured into it. I want a long, happy life, not a short miserable one. I deserve a decent, healthy life.
_________________
I've left WP.
Not all is bleak. You can find a family outside of your bloodline with ties that are unbreakable. It takes a lot of effort, but trust me, it can be done.
Think about where you would want to take your life if your bloodline was not making efforts to hold your back, and do not feel the slightest bit ashamed about it.
Take some pride in the fact that, if your description of your family is true, you are the healthiest member of your bloodline, and you can get out and not own their BS if you really want to put in the effort involved to get there.
Thank you. I will try and find another family, mine are saying that I don't need to contact my sister, but I'm sure they'll change their minds in the future and try to "encourage" me again. They even said that I should be open for reconcilation in the future

I don't know how I'm going to find other support, but I can try.
_________________
I've left WP.
Not all is bleak. You can find a family outside of your bloodline with ties that are unbreakable. It takes a lot of effort, but trust me, it can be done.
Think about where you would want to take your life if your bloodline was not making efforts to hold your back, and do not feel the slightest bit ashamed about it.
Take some pride in the fact that, if your description of your family is true, you are the healthiest member of your bloodline, and you can get out and not own their BS if you really want to put in the effort involved to get there.
Thank you. I will try and find another family, mine are saying that I don't need to contact my sister, but I'm sure they'll change their minds in the future and try to "encourage" me again. They even said that I should be open for reconcilation in the future

I don't know how I'm going to find other support, but I can try.
There are Recovery groups for everything these days, including groups where the purpose is for everybody to recover from living under the influence of diseased bloodlines. Just a thought, it might help to look into that.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,459
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Dermatitis on the face and the arms. Cracking flaking skin that itches a lot and I scratch it until it bleeds. It's not as bad as it was, but that's only because I've been eating a low carbohydrate diet, so low sometimes I feel faint. But it's the only thing that relieves the itching. I can't eat anything sweet, not even fruit or sweet vegetables. 1/4 teaspoon sugar makes my skin terrible again and it lasts for weeks. My body cannot tolerate sugar or carbs. I've managed to find a link between it and vitamin deficiencies, and I've been researching everywhere to find the right vitamins, and the most readily absorbed and safest vitamins etc.
When people ask me if I've tried skin cream I want to slap them. It's about the most obvious patronizing question anybody could ask me.
I have Psoriasis, not in very visible places (spot 1 in the back hair, but it might create sometimes "dandruff" which can be embarrassing in excess; spot 2: in my butt :-/). I am concerned if it it will expand and get worse.
I've heard Gluten affects it the most, it's auto-immune disease,
my sister has it, my bro has diabetes and colitis, all are auto-immune diseases yupeee

The best way to deal with your sister is not to expect or want her to change. Accept her as she is and all the tough situations she puts you through. It sounds absurd, doesn't it? But it's crazy enough to work. The more you try to fight the system the deeper you find yourself entangled in it. Trust me, I know.
Thanks for your input, but I won't sacrifice my money and mental health for anyone. I would not let a man treat me nearly as bad in a relationship, let alone a friend or family member. My sister has gone too far, many times. I only gave her a go again because I was pressured into it. I want a long, happy life, not a short miserable one. I deserve a decent, healthy life.
Maybe I should rephrase. Avoidance is the best thing but another key aspect is to get to a point where you can easily let go. This obviously isn't easy. I bet you feel like despite not liking your sister you can't let go of her, am I right? You think a lot of past confrontations, how youve been wronged, etc. Having zero expectations and needs from them is what you want. There's behaviour you should be making a big deal out of and there's behaviour you shouldn't - Like not getting a birthday present. It keeps you fixated on how they're not living up to your expectations.
You in a way become needy of being treated in the right way by someone who doesn't do that. Essentially if you don't care you break this emotional need. I hope that makes sense.
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