My life is over

Post Reply New Topic

The title says it all.

24 years old super duper innocent dateless virgin with huge problems where people can't figure out how to communicate with me especially being hearing impaired. My counselors and doctors, families and friends kept saying this is not a problem.

I am happy what I got, that is postgrad degree, job, car, studio apartment, family/friends and money. Right, is that a big deal? YES. OK OK OK! Gosh these are the things people kept telling me I am lucky person. Alright, but listen! I am dateless virgin, I struggle to get women to say yes nor get them to attract me.

How cares people say it will come and that in the future. But I am so entirely fecking sick and tired of this. Its getting worse after scenario to another and another. I have been turned down by unlimited amount of women for thousands of years. How the hell I am here, still alive being a dateless virgin. If I were a wildlife animal in this situation, I would be dead by now.

Where is the fecking evidence showing that I will get relationships and sex? Way too many families and friends kept telling me I am good person, good guy values, career like minded and have strong heart. Alright I do know that ok? Well where is the evidence of showing a women to approach me and marry and feck me?

I am sick and tired trying to find an UFO, to back up peoples claims. Can't believe I am right in the middle of the crowd being unnoticed and being such a tomfoolery. Lot of people told me everyone can't get everything. Ok I got that, but what about things I really want to! I want to have a partner. Gosh, why sounds like no one wants me to have a partner, despite all women says no to me and going after other guy instead?

How the feck aspergers make this to happen?! Gosh so many virgin aspies in the world. This prove all of us there is definitely something wrong with us. Especially me. I don't want to be like this! It not what I want.

If it makes you feel any better, a few years ago I did some trance meditations and sawa some of my past lives...I've been incarnating on this Earth for 28,000 years (many lifetimes)...

I recently asked my spirit guide "when was the last time I procreated?" He said 15,000 years ago when you were a Whale off the coast of Saudi Arabia."

So you're just in your mid-20s. There's still hope for you. I found it's more than just having money, as I had a job for 12 yrs and no one dated me. Tried the dating websites and never found the right person.

It's all in your state of mind though. If you say to the Universe "I'm ready. I'm going to have a girlfriend/boyfriend" and can "see" / imagine hanging out with a partner and doing things together... It's called the Law of Attraction... and it WORKS.

I've said to the Universe "I'm ready for a new friendship. I want a friend." and a few weeks/months later...voila.

What the Bleep Do We Know (2005) Quantum Physics/Law of Attraction documentary:
https://youtu.be/McPkCU6dtNs?list=PL3F649CBF2FB0E491

Anyone with two or more working brain cells would know I'm a virgin, and from what I hear sex is overrated. Teenagers expect their "first time" too be so great due to what they hear in the media.

Not having sex is not a reason to kill yourself. However, if you are going to go that way, bye.

I would miss you.

Please don't even think about killing yourself.

You have a good brain in your head.

I myself am quite isolated and struggle with a social anxiety that makes it difficult just to even be in the presence of people.I struggled badly with depression and bitterness,I wondered if it would get better, I hated that I, for some reason can't just go out and make friends and have relationships and do this and that normal people my age do.It seemed that even when good things would happen I would feel terrible thinking it would not last and I keep trying to make myself be normal in the hopes that I would be able to get what normal people have, thinking only then I would finally be happy.But now, even though i'm still isolated and have few friends and struggle to get out there,when I let go of the idea that by attaining the things most people have or get,and I realized that they are not guarantees of happiness, I finally stopped forcing myself to be normal and I learned that you can find happiness in a great many things other than friends or relationships or money or status, still when you see people acquire these things and despite your best efforts you can't seem to have or can't have what they can, it can be crushing, but despite what people may say it really is possible to find happiness in other things and its always humbleling to remember that we all suffer and theres always one suffering more than you.I don't know your struggle but please don't give up your life, It would be a horrible waste if you did...,and although there may be many people who may not care not everyone is so callous, there are people who care,and people who can identity with your struggle.

Over sounds a bit of an over-reaction. You have this record of achievement at a relatively young age and because one goal out of many is not yet accomplished, you make this huge leap from accumulated successes to this conclusion that your life is a failure/hopeless/over? Because life hasn't conformed to the totality of your expectations at this point? Maybe your expectations could do with some in-depth inquiry as to how you came to think like this and what needs to change so that you can meet life - it's successes and trials - on more balanced terms. You have to learn to ride out the rough and the smooth in life, that comes more with increasing experience and realistic expectations.. look at the big picture. You seem to have had a lot of breaks so far and they are likely to continue in the future. Or are other things going on affecting your mood state and mindset that have led you to make this dramatic assertion in a passing fit of despair triggered by some incidental recent event like rejection?

Everytime yes, but from the start when I first came out of high school and moved away from home to first year of my UG degree in 2009. I didn't have similar reactions back then, but I developed more of aspie like reactions over time when ongoing rejections, traumas from bullies and drunken people that make me feel less confident.

More recently, I been turned down by a girl, like so many times I been through since 2009. I can't see any improvements of myself getting past that because every single time I get turned down it always that she likes someone else better than me. This makes me so frustrated and always wanted to know why this is so. That make me less confident of getting someone. Now I feel totally unfair because since it is ongoing process, I feel never find a relationship and sex unlike many other people I know gets it easily. Huge difference between my aspie damaged brain and the normal able bodied people fully operational/functional brain where things always works for them.

People expecting me to change, but how!? I can't fix my aspie damaged brain, or even cure my hearing loss to make myself attractive to women. Right? Well it seems an unfortunate for all women in the world now because it seems they only going after a fully functional brain guy. I been turned down in many scenarios that find my weakness and lose it.

But this problem has been a same for years, since 2009. I got stuck with this problem. Cannot get a girlfriend nor sex. Can't at all. I used to be very positive, and so thought confident person. But the results is still a same. I am trying to tell all of my friends and families expressing this, but they kept telling it will happen. This makes me feel like stoned.

More recently I kept getting recommended to see the psychologist. I have been through them for years and years and years, probably since the rise of the apes. Had thousands of counseling and psychologist appointments! Nothing has changed and they didn't get me a relationship or sex. It till a same. Being 24 years old is feel like having a lot of problems when I was 18! I am like, wow I am still a stupid immature idiot, thanks to my aspie damaged brain.

But don't get me wrong. I never had this attitude before approaching women. it always an after reaction, because I am getting sick and tired of it. I am always wondered why people kept telling me forget about relationships and sex because I am at uni with masters degree, getting a job and money etc. So is that really important? That sounds like I am becoming the world record super duper dateless virgin. Who is to blame!

No one is to blame.

What did you get your degree in?'

I don't believe in the notion that an Aspie brain is "damaged."

Yes, hearing loss is hard for some people to deal with. Have you ever seen the movie "Children of a Lesser God?"

I have a qualification in environmental science and management. I am professional student. GPA is up at a 6 (out of 7). I don't study much to be honest.

Watching that kind of films doesn't get me a girlfriend nor sex. it just a film. Like many people recommended me to see Ted talks and all of those kind of stuff. What the purpose of showing me these films, being inspired to be the world's best super duper dateless virgin?

Films are useful for things to talk about when you do go out on a date--which I don't think is an impossibility.

Have you tried speaking to one of the girls here on WP?

Oh right, well to be honest. I can't even get a date let alone getting past it! None of the women said yes to me. Virtually none. I thought I did right things, and their comment on it is just fine. I am so totally confused why.

There rarely any women on this website, but I don't seek online life. I prefer outside world, where I always hang out and meet people. I still doing it and it stressing me out. I used to be part of Brisbane aspie group here few months ago, but I quit it because I got bullied and putting a bad label on me. The group kept focusing on awareness and some stuff seems quite offensive to NTs, where the majority of my friends are NTs. I am fine talking to them, but its easier with NTs because of their responses back. But the problem still here, NTs don't know very well of my awareness, thus struggle of communication. But the aspies I used to hang out, they are even worse because of conversations kept going out of track and got me confused of what is going on.

I don't understand why I am in this position of my life. I never met a very extremely successful person who is dateless virgin. I am curious of why and what I am doing is wrong in my position because I am successful person, since every friends and families told me that I am from their perspective. So I go with that then.

If the lack of sex bothers you that much, track down and hire an escort. Me, I'm a virgin of 28, and while I'd like that not to be the case, letting that little fact consume me won't exactly help anyone. I, for one, would kill to have a science degree at 24, and the reason I don't is in no small part related to Aspergers. I still haven't given up on that, but I'm biding my time because I know aspies tend to be late bloomers in most areas, including sex debut.

Tell me, what are you really looking for? Because you say "partner", and then you launch into hyperbole and say you've approached thousands of women and they all shot you down. Did you really see a potential partner in each and every individual in this female horde? I ask because women I've seen prospective partners in are very few and far between, limited to women whose minds, looks and personalities intrigued me. I'm not saying everyone must do as I, but perhaps some middle ground is in order. Out of respect for yourself and for the women you approach, having some criteria beyond "vagina+pulse" may help you come across as less desparate, and consequently more attractive.

Look, I know rejection and loneliness hurts. Hell, I spent several months hanging out with a girl I liked on my couch, cuddling, watching movies and going though any number of bases (unclear on that system, but yeah), but when I broached the subject of actual sex she suddenly remembered being deeply in love with someone else. It hurts.

I know I sound a bit harsh, and that's only half unintentional; tying this much of your self-worth to not having done what most of the population should consider doing a lot less is not healthy. You have a life, live it. Don't like an aspect of that life? Work on it. Declaring your life over for being a virgin at 24? Premature surrender.

I feel ya pain man.
My life ended around a year ago.

Hear how ridiculous this sounds? It's true, but say it out loud...

People are talking sht, they don't know anything. Prove them wrong.
I'm sure there is something you can enhance about your looks without hassle, for example hair styling, wash face. Already makes you 0.1% more presentable. Also get into a situation where your chances can be assumed to be unequal to zero.
Also have some basic idea how to put on a condom and where your dong goes. 30 min reasearch tops.
Also learn to act a little bit, like always hint a smile. Just do it. It might feel unnatural like you're screwing them over... but that's exactly what you want, so fck it.
Smile when you didn't understand someone and ask for repetition.
If you can get 1 out of 1000 ok women into your bed because of all these factors, keep trying.
Just don't give up yet because of your age, you can dress to look more like 20.

Well, that's my plan at least. Wish I wasn't so lazy.

Anyway this is for you:

I feel dis encouraged by the escort. I don't feel mutual and don't feel real about it. I don't want to pay money for sex. It makes the situation appears to be fake and not normal. I prefer with fwb and/or a relationship in a proper way like majority of the population do.

I desire 'partnership' kind of women with me because of working together, share experiences together, care each others, look out for each others and that etc. Like working as in a team. I have been inspired by many other couples I met in my life including few of my friends and my family. Despite I feel am being the 'third wheel'. I see this partnership an attractive thing. I thought women like hard working boyfriend/husband? I always see them get cranky and demanding when their boyfriends/husbands being lazy and idiots. I am not that kind of person, because I use hard earn respect and be a A-team.

Of course I desire sex in relationships too, however women does too. Everyone does feel a same. But I feel so turned down when women reject me because of miscommunication and misinterpretation due to my high functioning ASD and hearing loss. I think women tend to choose a more able bodied guy where he have a fully functional brain to make everything works. I thought everyone in the world isn't perfect, let alone have a fully functional brains?

My friends told me they are also dealing their own problems, but they don't tell me what. Though this prove us everyone is dealing same s**t. It makes the world more of a working themselves out kind of situation. Does this seem a case for women to work out what kind of guy they want to be with the rest of their lives? I know this saying that at young age, many women get through bad guys, then learn that they don't like it and ended up a better nice, cleaner and career type of guy. Well that is me. I don't break laws, I have career development thanks to my postgrad, have money, car, family and friends. Do people appreciate that?

Well after yesterday talking with my friends and that. It turns out the world is sicker than I thought. I mean in a good way, but not 'sick' sick. My friends also dealing with their own problems and that, they are NTs and able bodied. Like I said in above comment response to Wolfram87.

How hearing impaired are you? My youngest son who I suspect may also be an aspie like I am (but he isn't interested in finding out) is completely deaf in his left ear and has been from birth. He had lots of trouble in school, not with the work but with the rules and getting along with teachers and his whole fairness concept which he never could grasp in school that life isn't fair but he did manage that when he got a job. He didn't graduate, and he didn't get a GED although he studied for it and went to the classes and did great on the practice test he just never took the real one. He lied about it on his application and got a job at a factory making good money. They don't check that. A rhesus monkey could do this work but it pays good. He got it through a temp company. He's also thrown out the expectation of life being fair. He sucks it up and goes to work because a paycheck is a paycheck. I'm glad to see that, and also that he doesn't let himself be taken advantage of or run over, but he's not so demanding and whiney about everything now. He grew up.

He got a girlfriend last year right before he turned 19. I know you are older but you have been in school and grad school and all that too, he had a s**t ton of time on his hands. He found a girl who put up with his s**t and she made him grow up too. I'm glad of that. She put up with some but she changed a lot of other stuff. He's happy and she's happy. Sort of. They do have some problems but they might work them out, I don't know. But he was a virgin until then. My oldest was until he was almost 18 and was about to go to jail for six months for probation violation about weed. The girl who eventually became his baby mama had pity on him and said nobody should turn 18 in jail and a virgin. She was a crazy ass and a big problem and he's away from her and with a good girl now and they have his little girl two weeks on and two weeks off.

My point is, it happened later for them than they wanted too. I know many guys your age or older who don't have a steady gf and who haven't had a long term relationship. No, they aren't virgins but they also went to lots of parties and hung out with stoners and such and usually people end up drinking and getting laid for the first time and regretting it later or something.

Don't kill yourself just because you are a virgin at 24. You probably don't know how to present yourself at your best. Learning how to do that can really go a long way. I've tried to kill myself before and I'm so very glad I sucked at it. You can always put it off until tomorrow or the next week, etc. For all you know, things are going to be getting better, and if you kill yourself youll miss out on it. I'd really wait until things are absolutely unbearable and then I'd try medication and all. Also try and find somebody to help you learn how to present yourself and come across better.

Do you have any friends you hang out with or other guys you know who may be more successful than you are?
What do you think is the reason you have trouble with girls? Do you think it's looks or personality or what?