nearly got raped today

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when i was driving the bus noone else was on the bus at a time and this man got on

told me i was beautiful so i said thank you but then he kept asking me to pull over and help him look for his key because he had dropped it somewhere on the bus

he seemed very chatty and genuine and he even offered me a cigarette so when i had 5 minutes i did get out the drivers cab
then he was asked me if i was married i said yes
but im so used to this sort of thing from guys so i didnt feel he was a threat but then he grabbed me between the legs so i fell down on to the seats and he tried pulling my trousers down
i told him i will call the police and then he scarpered off the bus so i called my boss and he called the police for me because i was too scared

after i called by husband and after a few hours of getting sorted out with the police i am now home safely but im a bit traumatized so im having a few days off work and so is my husband because it was a nasty shock for me

the police are on the case

why are there such dirty men out there wanting to rape vulnerable people ?

Maybe they were rape victims themselves, and want to take it out on people they view as vulnerable. Either that, or they're just sex (rape)-craving maniacs who want to predate on others.

Either way, that's just plain wrong what that man did to you, and hopefully he'll be caught and put behind bars (preferably for ALL ETERNITY! )

There's a lengthy discussion to be had about why exactly that is, but maybe at another time, in another thread. It sure doesn't say much for society though, how many cases there are and continue to be, of rape, attempted rape, and spousal abuse. There also seems to be a disconnect between the narrative surrounding communal norms and the reality of events/behavior...pretty much everywhere people benefit from a show politeness, professionalism, or self-discipline. At university, in the military, etc.

That you reacted the way you did, as quickly as you did, is worth underscoring, italicizing, putting in bold, etc. Sometimes even just a sudden unexpected rude comment can catch anyone off guard, to where the appropriate response doesn't become obvious until after the fact, when the opportunity is lost. Glad to hear that you and your partner have the ability to take time off together. Stay safe.

Power and control. It greatly arouses these sorts of people to be as this perverse. He saw the bus was empty and thought he could take his chances exploiting you.

You'd think as progressive as society says we are, this sort of behaviour wouldn't still thrive, especially as somewhere as public as a bus!

Hopefully, there's CCTV, so it should be easy for police to find him or at least make a start.

As traumatic as this was for you, the positive to take from this, was being able to stand up to him and the fact he ran as soon as you threatened to call the police goes to show him not everyone will submit to his disgusting proclivities.

As long as you're ok as you can possibly be. Fingers crossed he's caught.

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You did the right thing to call your boss and take a few days off.
We need safe streets for people like us just doing our job or having a break in it.

I am so sorry you had to go through this experience... It is definitely good to take a few days off. There are some good organizations, therapy and support groups available, would you like any help in finding some in your area? The police might be able to guide you to some as well.

It is beyond horrible to go through what you have gone through. It is usually about power and control for the perpetrator and there is absolutely nothing you could have done about it. The rapist is always the one at fault and it is sickening there are people like that around.

I am sending a lot of virtual love and hugs to you. Please let you know, if you feel like talking at any point or there is anything else that could be of support.

its ok thanks ,im fine its happened before
it just takes me a few days to recover then i carry on

i dont feel as upset about it today as i did when i first wrote this thread

the buses do have cctv and the police are on the case

I am glad you are okay and it didn't go beyond what he was doing. If they did that with the bus company I ride with. the operator is required to pull over and wait for the supervisor while having the passenger remain on the bus until the police arrive. You can also see to it that he loses privileges to ride public transit because that's not acceptable.

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 01 Sep 2021, 12:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I’m sorry that happened to you.
What an awful experience.
Can you carry mace or pepper spray?

I wouldn't suggest that to anyone in the UK because it's actually illegal for bus-drivers to carry weapons of any sort and it's also illegal to harm someone who is assaulting you.

Yes, bizarre, isn't it? My dad knows a guy who had a burglar break into his house one night and the burglar was armed with a knife, so the guy punched him as hard as he could to protect his wife and young children, and HE got arrested for it and the burglar got away scott-free (even though the guy had enough evidence that his home was broken into by an armed burglar).

Any burglar in my home would be leaving in a body bag.

That is bizarre.
Some people carry wasp spray instead.
The kind that sprays in a jet and not a fog.

That's terrible. Here in the states, if someone breaks in there has to be enough hard evidence. If they didn't steal anything valuable or cause harm to people, then the police can't arrest them.

It's good to know that you managed to avoid such an experience.

Keep us updated if this man is ever caught.