Still find it hard coming to terms with being an uncle
I know my nephew is 3 but I still find it coming to terms with the fact that my sister is a mother. I still find myself sometimes not interacting with him and can't always stand being around if he has tantrums or makes a fuss. I seem to feel as though my sister is more grown up than I am not only because she has a son but has her own house which my dad helped her get. But unlike me, doesn't drive or work as she is a full-time mum. I know that I and other people keep telling me not to compare myself to others, it feels really hard especially if I see other people in their late 20s and early 30s having kids, its as though it makes me feel left behind with life and haven't accomplished anything even though at the same time I don't know if I really want my own child and I am not even in a relationship in order to make that decision.
I don't know what the problem is, I don't know if its because I am sometimes not always acknowledging the fact that I am an adult just like other people are adults now at my age or younger because that they are of an age to have children and that if they want children well that's their decision. I don't understand why it makes me feel unhappy rather than happy for those people.
I understand how it is to feel like you are being left out. I don't have my own place and driving yet, but I'm working on that stuff, I did have a job (which I was let go so I'm looking for a different one), but I really do want a girlfriend that I am attracted to and fancy. I think we are somehow wired more for long-term marriage or relationship than having casual sex and going through different partners non-simultaneously.
If it helps you to feel any better, anecdotal success stories of relatively "average" young men over 30 and under 50 finding a partner still exists, and having sons or daughters. So if it's still going on today, at the least there is a chance. I'm not implying you are "average" (I don't know) or that women don't necessarily have their own dating issues.
goldfish21
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
How much is comparing yourself to others helping you in any way mentally, physically, socially, emotionally, financially, professionally etc ?
My guess is approximately zero.
Comparing is fine, but it's best to compare who you are to who you were, reflect on how much progress you have made.. think about who you want to become, and then take action daily to do all the small things the move you in the direction you want to head. Small actions every day add up to big life changes.
But dwelling on all that other stuff? Adds up to a big fat waste of time and zero personal growth or improvement. We've all done it and we've all wasted that time. Sometimes we need someone as blunt as I am to say it to you straight so MAYBE you'll force yourself to create new and better habits that serve you and build you up instead of tear you down.
_________________
No

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