I complain to someone like my parents and they'll tell me "Don't complain to me, make YOURSELF feel better." Or something to that effect, anyway. But if I lack the inner stimulation to make myself feel better, I turn outwards to get stimulation to make myself feel better, like stimulation from them, and if they don't have it for me, that's okay, just direct me somewhere else or tell me to move on. I'm not stupid; I don't need to be told how to make myself feel better or that I need to make myself feel better. I need to just be given the supply of stimulation I lack in order to be able to do it.
Well, telling me to make myself feel better is okay, jsut don't say everyone can do it no matter what or say it in an authoritative or I-know-better way.